Keep Smiling, Keep Shining

[karmasoup]

ATTRITION

I don’t have any friends.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a total recluse or a social pariah or anything.  My various media profiles each have a few hundred connections, though I’m regularly whittling them down from the several hundred they used to have, as I come to value closer relations the older I get, and I no longer see the point in

Comments

[tigrkittn]

I don't have friends either - except I am somewhat of a recluse with little "social life" to speak of. I, too, look at this "friendship" thing as something I'm supposed to have and am clearly doing wrong.

[karmasoup]

Well, I absolutely adore you. I know you being in North Carolina and me being in Minnesota makes hanging out not super practical, but I definitely consider you a friend! ;-)

[static_abyss]

I also never had any really close friends. I have a lot of people who would call me friend, but who I had, until the moment they called me friend, only ever considered acquaintances. I managed to wrangle a best friend in high school and knew her 7 years before life happened and we stopped talking. And now I have another best friend who I have known for 9 years and who is still a solid comforting and supportive presence. But my longest friendship and most enduring friendship to this day is with someone I had never considered a best friend. But what else is she, if we have managed to grow together and change together in ways that have kept us even closer than when we first started talking? In any case, I dont think there is a right way to do it. And if anything, I also get along very well with my large family and I consider all the handfuls of cousins I have close confidants.

[karmasoup]

Seems like you and I have had similar experiences... I know in my life, there've been a lot more people who called me friend than I felt I could say the same about. I haven't really done very well with keeping up with my many cousins, though, other than on FB... we're spread out all over the country, and I haven't done that much traveling as an adult, but I hope Minion and I can travel with our boy when he gets older.

[bleodswean]

You have such keen observational skills and couple said skills magnificently with your amazing writing chops. I think this thoughtful essay on friendship will hit close for a lot of folks. We do buy into some *waves hand vaguely in the direction of out there* idea we are taught is what friendship is, means, should be, looks like, smells like....

Growing up in a military family, I moved more than I stood still and had a rather lonely childhood. Animals and books and family. All good friends.

Glad you've found your best friend now!

[karmasoup]

Thanks very much. On the one hand, I would say I'm sorry you've been through a similar experience of having few people to relate to, but, on the other hand, I know firsthand that animals, books, and family teach a person a lot about life... and maybe we learn best that way what it is to be a decent human in this world, and also, how best to relate to others, so maybe, in the end, we're the lucky ones. <3

[adoptedwriter]

Interesting and thought provoking. Reminds me of that saying about ppl in your life for a reason and or a season.

[karmasoup]

I'm sure I may have heard of that saying before at some point, but am not familiar enough with it to have brought it to mind when I was writing this; it's nice to know my situation is not so uncommon, since there are everyday idioms on the subject.

[lawchicky]

I can relate to a lot of this. I have a couple of friends, but no one that I feel all that close to anymore aside from my husband. I'm really lucky to have him.

[karmasoup]

Yeah, I think I'm finding my situation is not that uncommon... it's nice to have a different perspective. Thank you. :-)