Argh. I'm so fucking frustrated. And more than anything, I don't want to go stay with his family for a week. But I will because it's important to him. And it's just like... everything is all fucked up. what. I don't know. like my blood boils and I'm angry and bitchy. just, bitchy as fuck. Maybe because my uterus is bleeding, but hell if I fucking ( Read more... )

Ready. Set. GO ( Read more... )

Zomg. I was looking at the TUJ website, and I kept squealing in delight. Everything about it is so exciting, so wonderful, so fantastic! I can't believe it. I'm totally not this giddy about any other college I applied to. I just want to squeal. God, I hope I can manage to go there next fall. Putting off college two years to go back there would be ( Read more... )

Ok. WTF. Photo from a year and a half ago. Smiling. WTF. maybe I should work on that now. I promised nathan that I'd try to be happier. so... here goes.


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How much can I bitch about this? Really. Shit sucks. Sometimes it's great and sometimes it's really not. I'm so freaking enveloped in his life that I've totally lost sight of my own.

I am going back to Japan next fall.How? I have no idea. But it's the only thing I can think of that will make me happy. I cry almost every day because I wish so hard ( Read more... )

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I am so stressed out. I don't know how to relax. This is a problem I've been having recently, not being able to relax. I'm starting to wonder if it's really just not wanting to relax.

Couldn't have said it any better myselfNathan keeps poking fun at me about being fat. Like it's totally not something I'm insecure about already. That boy is fucking ( Read more... )

Today I put on clothes to go to the gym, and when I looked in the mirror all I could think was that I was really lumpy.

"Our relationship's not right," side comment uttered by him today
"Do you really think that?"
"...sometimes, yeah."

And we both agree nothing is wrong per say, however, there are things that just don't feel right. But is that simply something to be expected out of a longer relationship? Are they things worth trying to get over? Are they things we ( Read more... )

You'd think that more than a year later, involved in a fairly long-term relationship, I'd be over that kid. But I'm totally not. And I wonder if someone had told me then that I should follow my heart, what would have happened? And I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't given that stupid bear back. And I wonder if I'm doing the right thing ( Read more... )