I think I am going to go nuts, I feel like I need to RUN fast but I don't know where and I don't know why. I have cleaned up 40 puddles of piss today because only duct tape will keep a diaper on my baby girl. I am sad...crying too much these days and I don't know how to change it.

Hi Amber

It is hot as hell here...no I take that back, hell is a dry heat.

We are spending lots of time at the pool and watching movies. I can't stand the way it feels to got out for very long. I have been keeping up with my 3 mile walks everyday but there have been a few times when it took everything I had to get done.

I miss my life and this is the only place I am admit to it. I miss going out, I miss drugs, I miss sleeping with strangers and falling in love with who I think they are. I miss drinking coffee for every meal. I miss my old body. I miss the way men use to "eye- rape" me. I miss drinking and falling in the street at 4 am ( Read more... )

I fucking hate W.

Now this shit is FUNNY

http://www.livejournal.com/users/teenjesus/

My kids are trying to fucking kill me. I have not slept in 96 days and I feel like a big pile of shit. I saw the UPS man yesterday, he is my new friend.

Really this fucking sucks...I need to win the lotto so I can get a nanny and shop all day.

I am still here, up to my ass in kids. Charlie has had a stomach bug and twice this week I thought about getting in my car and running away from home. I am back in my old jeans again..HELL YA.

Just an update. Arwen Grace was born April 15th 2004, that was the last time I got any sleep. I feel like death but I know it will get better soon. I miss sleeping so much because my brain no longer works. Charlie is talking, running and trying to kick our asses, he is in love with his trains and "Brum".

Same old shit... same old day. I am going to have another baby, I have lost my mind. I have a stack of books to read and no time to even think about them.