sometimes i really hate myself...i feel so worthless...THIS SUCKS!

So wow...it's been a long time since i've came to this site. I even had to change my password because I couldnt remember the old one. March 2007 was my last post. A lot can change in two and a half years. I'm definately not that "I'm so sad and fucked up that I'm gonna kill myself" girl that I used to be. That was a rough time and took a while to ( Read more... )

so money = BLAH!!!! but hey what's new...maybe if I get asst mgr in Kearney it'll be better...but the overtime in the next couple weeks will be nice... but still money + bills = Blah!! on the other hand I GOT A DOOR!! and INTERNET!! oh and I get to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra!! Fuck Yeah... oh and WE SET A DATE!!! I'm so excited! anywho.... ( Read more... )

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ........that is all

I'm tired of and confused about life and I have a headache that hasnt gone away at all today....
BUT....I have great friends and a great guy and family that loves me

now all I have to do is figure out the rest...hmmm

Soooo, I kind of feel like an ass now....earlier I was complaining about my mom bitching about me behind my back to my sister when I know it's just because she was worried about me...and that's why I feel bad...she was worried. And this is what makes me feel bad...Stuart's son is in the hospital. Stuart called me almost in tears at about 315am ( Read more... )

im sad and want to give up but i wont let go yet as tired as i am i dont understand how im still holding on but somehow there's still one string that's connecting me to this world that makes me want to cry and scream until i cant make another sound and pass out falling into somebody's arms even though there's probably not anyone close enough to ( Read more... )

So if the doctors cant fix this im gonna go blind in my right eye....yay....steriods you better fucking work.....blurry blurry blurry...i cant see out, they cant see in...even with their handy dandy million dollar equipment...such fun...guess i found out what was gonna happen next...lets see what tomorrow brings...here i come...bring it on fuckers!

why do i keep doing this....i need to stop freaking out, i really need to stop freaking out...first i feel sick then i freak out because i feel sick which makes me feel even more sick and the only way to stop thinking about everything is to deny it but denying things isnt gonna make them go away. i wish i would stop freaking out, i wish i could ( Read more... )

I USE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO MANY ELLIPSES....HAHA!!!!