I'm sure I'm totally romanticizing, but I'm longing for a tiny studio apartment. I'm actually looking at efficiency condos in Ocean City. I can totally imagine myself living in 500 square feet. Eating, sleeping, working, in cute cozy squared off sections of something to call my very own. I'm imagining jewel tones; plum, topaz, green, and Tiffany ( Read more... )

This week I had my 30-week summative evaluation with my principal. She wrote that I'm an exemplary first year teacher. I don't quite feel like I am. Sometimes I stumble over history facts. Sometimes I don't quite have the patience I know I need. Sometimes I mispronounce rhetorical devices. Sometimes I'm downright disorganized. Sometimes I'm ( Read more... )

I've said this before, several times, in fact, over the last year or so: I need to be alone ( Read more... )

How do people affect our lives ( Read more... )

So, I come back from North Carolina with a sense of peace and serenity. I feel somehow new and rejuvenated. Could be the massage, facial, pedicure and manicure, but something tells me the source of my newfound tranquility goes way beyond these little luxuries. It's spiritual, I think. My spirit is waking up ( Read more... )

I booked a flight to North Carolina. I need to spend some time there. I have not exactly wrapped my head around the idea of sleeping in that bed again or hanging my clothes amongst his. (But, then, I think they threw them all away?)  I imagine those are things I couldn't prepare for, anyway ( Read more... )

I don't know where I belong. Today, I belong here, in Millville, New Jersey in the comfort of the home I've been living in for the past 18 years. Today I belong where I'm comfortable.

I find comfort in the fact that I could walk about this house blind-folded. I find comfort in the perfect row of plants that line my driveway. I find comfort in the ( Read more... )

I've just discovered that I can barely tolerate reading my 2001 archive. The excessive use of ellipses and exclamation points is enough to make me batty. Throw in my spelling of "alot" and that's enough to make me want to off myself.

I must have been annoying as hell back then.

Now I am thinking What will I think of my recent entries some several ( Read more... )

A few years ago I met this guy over a long weekend. He was from Princeton. Dark features, soft lips. I recall sharing some awkward yet intimate conversation with him at dusk, the clash of the day's humidity and the evening's chill mocking my sultry confidence and cold feet.

I'll never forget what he told me that night.

"You are an enigma."

And those ( Read more... )

I do not feel lost anymore. Suddenly I am quite comfortable. I no longer have feelings of guilt. I am sad at times, yes, but I am no longer overwhelmed with feelings of loss and abandonment, because I realize that I can still laugh. And I am still loved.