I have come to a place in my life where I am... content.
I am neither happy nor unhappy to the point of needing to change something.
There are things that I wish I had that would make me happier, but most (if not all) are beyond my ability to get for myself. Some of them require more money than I possess, and some of them rely heavily on other ( Read more... )

It's hard to be everything you expect me to be.
No, let me re phrase that.
It's impossible to be everything you expect me to be.
There is no way I can alter the very fabric of my being to make you happy.
But unfortunately, I also can't say  "Accept me or I'm leaving."
Because... I will never leave you... No matter what you do to me, I will never ( Read more... )

Sooooooo
I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm in love with someone that I shouldn't love.
Someone else is in love with me.

I missed a chance to live the life of a queen, so that I could be treated like a drudge.

I lost the one person I loved. I just couldn't keep him. I guess I wasn't good enough.
But I still love him, with everything that I am.
And now ( Read more... )

It's sad...
Even though I'm very, very, very much in love with someone else...
I still know that I'd go back to Andrew. Whether anything changed or not.
Not because it would be easier. It wouldn't.
Not because I know him. What I know of him makes me cringe at the thought of going back.
But because somewhere, deep down, I still love him. I still care for ( Read more... )

So... Here I am, in Washington, listening to my mom tell my little brother (who I met for the first time on Friday) how to cook.

And I think to myself, I remember her doing that with me. When I was little, before I could cook. Before I had to cook. Now that it's not required, of course, I enjoy cooking. But when it was my chore, I hated it.

Little ( Read more... )

...I'm cold. Like, abnormally cold. Ok, maybe not abnormally since this house is always frickin freezing, but still. I'm cold.

I think I'm nervous about Friday, to be honest. My dad is the one who MADE me nervous about it. I was fine with it until he asked me if I was getting nervous... And I think as spider just landed on me. Anyway.

I've decided ( Read more... )

The song "Who I am Hates Who I've Been" is a pretty accurate description of my life lately, in more ways that one.

I talked to Andrew last night, finally.
He asked for my opinion on his relationship with Britt and I gave it to him. He said I may be right. I hope, for his sake, that I'm not.
I told him that part of me still loves him, and that I hate ( Read more... )

I sent Jayy pictures.
I probably shouldn't have.
I may be single, but he isn't.
And I guess I'm technically not...

I like Mark. Kind of a lot. Kind of love him kind of a lot.
And he feels the same.
He told me that he doesn't expect me to "wait" until I'm down there with him, even though he's waiting for me.
Which means he supposedly doesn't care if I have ( Read more... )

Twisted and used up?

...I'm... um... definitely confused lately.
I keep telling myself that I'm over being so broken, but I don't know if I am.
I keep telling everyone that I'm over him, but I don't know if I am.
I still think about him.
I still dream about him.
And I still hurt whenever I see him with her.

I just don't understand how the fuck he can go ( Read more... )