i have a desk now and a little studio area at which to spread out my art supplies. it's ash's christmas present to me. i cried about it yesterday. it's the first workplace i've had to do art since my high school studio class. it touches me immensely that i no longer have to paint while huddled over on the couch. i no longer have to sweep all my ( Read more... )

I feel like giving up. I don't know what there is left to give up on, but I'm just through ( Read more... )

My dad's angioplasty was cancelled. He has three coronary artery occlusions not one partial. They've scheduled him for a triple bypass on Thursday--moved up from Friday. He's being kept in the hospital for observation until then and will be there a week afterwards. Then he'll have three weeks of hospice care. In six to eight weeks he can expect to ( Read more... )

Brain dump time. It's getting too noisy in this skull ( Read more... )

Some days are incredibly lonely. I went to work for eight hours today. I didn't connect with anyone. I was tolerated. I was detached. It was one of my two shifts this week ( Read more... )

Waiting in Tim Hortons while the Fusion gets a safety inspection up the street. It's a chilly, drizzly morning, but the walk was not unpleasant. I put on a peasant skirt today because I got my favorite jeans extremely muddy gardening yesterday. And by my favorite jeans, I mean the jeans Ash is letting me borrow because I grew out of most of my ( Read more... )

I spoke with a lady at the chamber of commerce. There's a local business fair this weekend. I missed the job fair. She gave me a list of retail positions in town, plus night clerk at the new hotel or part-time at the telecom place ( Read more... )

mum texted me once and emailed me three times today. and that was after i woke up crying. she just added to it. i felt judged externally in addition to internally then ( Read more... )

I started writing a post at Sugar Shack the other day while waiting for Jarkko to finish sketching my tattoo, but I closed the app before posting and lost what I had put down. I haven't written in some time. I haven't wanted to look inside and assess myself for some time--mostly because I felt like I had no power to change anything even if I did ( Read more... )

I'm in a super pissy mood today. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and haven't been able to shake the feeling since.

This book I bought at the used book store kinda sucks. It reads like someone's unfinished dissertation from the eighties and it's only loosely held together by the title, Solitude: A Return to the Self. I've written the word " ( Read more... )