confused.

well, at least david called me tonight.
I guess ari's asleep.

btw, I really love how the same person enjoys taking time from her apparently uneventful life making remarks in journal. and it's not too obvious who it is or anything, because besides her only my best friends even read it.

yesturday i was sitting alone, eating a salad and trying to read while choking myself with my own coffee when an older woman started to small talk me. we talked about our food, where we lived, and mosty her life. this woman who must have been in her eighties informed me that four years ago she was hit my a taxi and dragged half a block. she still ( Read more... )

it's been forever!!!!!!!!!!!

school and work sucks but life isn't bad.....

I <3 ari

what in one's own life should be valued? sometimes i feel like a race horse chasing the unreachable, metaphorical carrot, while simultaneously, the harder I try the more others are pleased. the harder I try, the more consequential is failure. and all this time,hidden behind other's hungry eyes, lies the truth that failure is looming. and the ( Read more... )

oh gosh, i have no idea what i'm doing, which direction i'm going in, and i'm nearly spinning out of control. what do i want out of life? school, love, all fucked for me right now, i'm so fucking confused, someone please give me a downer and let me sleep.

Sometimes I think love will bring nothing but pain. I'm not sure if it's worth while to go after something you know will burn in the end. I sit here, my stomach twisting ...turning....and I brought this misery upon myself. All I ever wanted was to be in your arms; safe and warm...a protected sanctuary away from the painful woes of the world. But ( Read more... )

I've made some of the biggest mistakes of my entire life within the past few months but I have really realized so many things about myself in the process. I think I will always love him even though I am a stupid bitch.

oh world, I lie here arms open wide waiting for the embrace of all i believe you have to offer. i make myself vulnerable to you so I can enjoy all the gifts i know you'll grant me. you bend over and kiss me; just a taste of all the beauty and happinesss I pray to you for. world, how wonderful your warm mouth tastes, how lovely you smell, how ( Read more... )

You are the absentminded professor, the same personality type (in at least one major system) as Albert Einstein. Plato said that the function of your type is to study nature and figure out ways to tame it. You see connections between concepts that others do not, and must sometimes stop to check in with your audience to see if you’ve made intuitive ( Read more... )

So maybe I should update. Unfortunately I'm not motivated to do so. I wish I could log on and reveal something amazing and wonderful to the world but instead my life is a series of unrequited relationships and disappointments ( Read more... )