I think it's really selfless of you to make a commitment like that to your husband and your children. But I hope that you fid a way to dream your own dreams and then live them too.
Thank you but I'm not sure how selfless it is anymore, now that I've been home for almost 9 years :D When I worked before A was born, there was a lady in the cube next to me and her littlest cried her eyes out before being dropped off at daycare. Tore this mom up like you wouldn't believe and that stuck with me once I went out on maternity leave. Then my job wasn't willing to make mine a work at home position. So things kind of fell into place. I don't know if after the boys were born I could have left them.
In a way, this is the big dream come true. I'm realizing more and more that I'm extremely well taken care of and loved. I get to see these boys grow and spend every day with them. That's huge! I'd love to have a published novel someday, sure, but I'm glad I've had this time with them.
I was a stay at home mum and I do think that in the UK that is looked 'down' on, but I loved the time I spent with my kids and we have a great relationship because of it. Money was tight for us too - we rarely went on holiday and when we did it was a cheap camping trip or just a weekend away but I wouldn't have missed any of it. I did work from home when I could (babysitting in the evenings and I trained as a childcare provider so I could register to look after other children in my own home for several years which was hard work but helped with the tight budget), but I'm glad I was there for my boys.
There is a certain stigma about SAHMs, isn't there, like we sit home and pop bonbons all day. I even hear some moms talk about what they watched on the Today show and I'm thinking, "You get to watch TV?"
I love hearing from moms who have "been there done that" because, as with your situation, you can say that you're all so close because of being at home with them and I love that. That's what I'm hoping for, too.
The older the boys get the more I realize these years have been truly precious. I didn't deal very well with them when they were, say, 1 and 3 or 2 and 4 (shudders). But 6 and 8 has been a sweet, sweet time. We have a lot of fun together. My eldest is stepping up in helping his brother in ways I'm not even nagging about. I've loved having a ringside seat for watching these two grow.
"and my body was warm to fill a chair" heh. :) Well, some people do make a living out of telling others how to spell. And lots of jobs need project jugglers. But things that people don't pay you for can also count as things that you do! Like writing fic. That is a thing that you've been doing when you grew up.
I'm being silly. There are a lot of things I CAN do. I'd really have to break out with the resume version of a top hat and a cane at this point in my life, though, and a snappy set of tap shoes, too. I've been out of commission for 9 years. I'd have to "prove" how much I'd want this job and how much they need me and how great I'd do for them. That always makes me feel icky. I've never wanted a job that much.
I have often thought about doing writing for pay. It would have to be a certain kind of writing and I'd have to get a certificate for it to prove I could do it - like grant writing or technical writing. But writing is what I love and I wonder if I do it day in and day out, in a way that's not my first choice, if I'd grow to hate it and get sick of it. I WISH someone would pay me to write fic all day! Whee!
Being on disability made the decision about being a SAHM a lot simpler as I couldn't have worked anyway. If I hadn't been able to stay home, I don't think we could have managed having a child because I can't drive and my husband has to be at work well before most daycare centers open. In theory, I could have taken the bus to take a child to daycare, but in practice, it would have been extremely difficult. I'm also not sure I was making enough money to cover daycare, and we couldn't get by for long on just my husband's pay.
My sister had to go back to work after her son was born because her job came with health insurance for the whole family. Her pay just covered daycare, but they really had to have insurance.
Ouch, yes, that would be brutal having to take a bus just to get to daycare when you're needing to be on disability anyway. When I lived it Boston, it was just me and hubby and I would often wonder how in the world I would manage a stroller in the dead of winter on the bus and the T. Luckily, we moved before I had to figure it out!
Daycare is such a racket. I feel like so many people are working for the insurance and the daycare sucks most of their paycheck anyway. Our situation could be a lot worse and I'm very grateful we are getting by.
The sad thing about daycare is that the people doing it are so poorly paid that, if they can get another job, they pretty much have to. It costs more than most of us can afford, but it also doesn't pay enough for someone to live on. I think we really need some sort of subsidies.
It's a big sacrifice to make but I'm sure in 10 years when they are both in school and "too cool" to hang out at home, you'll have fond memories of them being in your hair all the time. :)
Are there any online part-time jobs you could do? A work-from-home kinda thing that you could qualify for? You never know! I have a friend with kids and she works part-time at the library, working hours when her husband is home to take care of the kids. Maybe something like that might pop up? Not a ton of money, but might be enough to start a small savings or at least get you out a bit. :)
"Toughest job you'll ever love" is how I'm thinking of these years, no disrespect to military personnel intended ;)
Now that the little one is in big school, that's definitely something I'm going to shoot for. I found an online hotel concierge type thing with Hilton that paid $10 an hour but they wanted you around for 10 hours a day o.O That's a bit more of a commitment than I'm looking for. But I know those things are out there so it's a matter of putting effort in and looking.
Comments 17
Gabrielle
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In a way, this is the big dream come true. I'm realizing more and more that I'm extremely well taken care of and loved. I get to see these boys grow and spend every day with them. That's huge! I'd love to have a published novel someday, sure, but I'm glad I've had this time with them.
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I love hearing from moms who have "been there done that" because, as with your situation, you can say that you're all so close because of being at home with them and I love that. That's what I'm hoping for, too.
The older the boys get the more I realize these years have been truly precious. I didn't deal very well with them when they were, say, 1 and 3 or 2 and 4 (shudders). But 6 and 8 has been a sweet, sweet time. We have a lot of fun together. My eldest is stepping up in helping his brother in ways I'm not even nagging about. I've loved having a ringside seat for watching these two grow.
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But things that people don't pay you for can also count as things that you do! Like writing fic. That is a thing that you've been doing when you grew up.
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I have often thought about doing writing for pay. It would have to be a certain kind of writing and I'd have to get a certificate for it to prove I could do it - like grant writing or technical writing. But writing is what I love and I wonder if I do it day in and day out, in a way that's not my first choice, if I'd grow to hate it and get sick of it. I WISH someone would pay me to write fic all day! Whee!
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My sister had to go back to work after her son was born because her job came with health insurance for the whole family. Her pay just covered daycare, but they really had to have insurance.
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Daycare is such a racket. I feel like so many people are working for the insurance and the daycare sucks most of their paycheck anyway. Our situation could be a lot worse and I'm very grateful we are getting by.
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Are there any online part-time jobs you could do? A work-from-home kinda thing that you could qualify for? You never know! I have a friend with kids and she works part-time at the library, working hours when her husband is home to take care of the kids. Maybe something like that might pop up? Not a ton of money, but might be enough to start a small savings or at least get you out a bit. :)
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Now that the little one is in big school, that's definitely something I'm going to shoot for. I found an online hotel concierge type thing with Hilton that paid $10 an hour but they wanted you around for 10 hours a day o.O That's a bit more of a commitment than I'm looking for. But I know those things are out there so it's a matter of putting effort in and looking.
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