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Trent died
Trent is gone. He died. Died. Its been so long since Ive written here but now I feel like I need to write. Trent, my friend since I was 15, the one I loved that summer, the one that hurt me, The one that came back and allowed us to make amends and heal. He and I… had become good friends over the last few years. He supported me through divorce, ( Read more... ) -
The week the world stopped turning...
In my life time I have personally had moments where I literally felt as if my world stopped turning. I have had moments so big, so traumatic, so undeniably heartbreaking that for a time....my world stopped, crashed, and just quit moving. At those moments, it felt like the entire world stopped moving too and in my deep pain, I surely felt that it ( Read more... ) -
What if
What if I never get over you? It's a question that crosses my mind frequently. The strange thing is that when I think this question only sometimes does a specific person come to mind. Often times, the person that comes to mind when I think this question changes. This was until very recently making me feel like I was crazy. However, my ( Read more... ) -
A New Year....
Well I am officially in a new year. Not only is it a new year, it's a new decade. This new year, I haven't been with Trent, I haven't had my heart broken, I haven't had my life turned upside down. THIS year, I haven't had Trent make and break promises to me. I haven't had him to tell me he loves me, only to walk away from me the next day. In ( Read more... ) -
Emails and Letting Go
One of the biggest lessons I am learning in 2018 and 2019 is how to let go of people. I feel like over the course of the last two years I have been forced to let go of more people then what most people have to let go of in a lifetime. Starting with my coworkers who were more friends then coworkers in the end of our three years working together ( Read more... ) -
And just like that
There is a quote I have seen many times that says "sometimes God removes someone from your life so that he can make room for someone better in your life ( Read more... ) -
Going Nuclear
Something has changed in me. Something deep inside me has fundamentally has begun to change at my very core. Somehow, someway.... without me even realizing it was happening... I don't know when it happened but something about Trent, and about the way he did what he did this summer rocked me to me core. I don't know why because it's not like I ( Read more... ) -
The Universe
Sometimes I think the Universe has decided it wants to punish me for some unknown to me wrong I have done at some point in my past. Sometimes I think the world has decided that it is fun to play with me and does things just because I deserve some kind of torture or something. First, the universe brings Trent back from 15 year old self past, ( Read more... ) -
Different Views
Trent had a moment a few days ago. Not sure where it came from and not sure what it was really about but for a brief moment, an evening, I feel like I was getting a small peek at real truth, real honesty. I have no idea what he was trying to tell me as he never really did come and tell me what was behind everything he was saying but I do know ( Read more... )