This is it. This is the end. Dear Livejournal Friends, those of you who are still with me after all these years, thank you for reading. Thank you for letting me feel like someone cares about the crap I put on here. I have decided not to write here anymore for personal reasons that are not really important. needless to say, I am going to print all ( Read more... )

its almost been two months since i've updated. i should probably cancel this thing. only time i write is when im sad. other than that, life goes on and i dont need to write anything ( Read more... )

it occured to me recently that I dont even know who reads this anymore and I havnt known for a very long time. I really only do this when Im super stressed and I think the sky is falling on every aspect of my life and so I've only been writing for myself. I dont even really see most of you at all or very much anymore ( Read more... )

1. Stop drinking soda (except for mixed drinks af course)
2. Stop eating crap
3. Get A's in every class (regardless of how dumb some of them are)
4. Make time for cleaning every week
5. Organize, paint and redecorate one room of my house every month

One year ago today, I kissed Justin in the hot tub at my old house.
The rest, as they say, is history.

     I am 21 now. but God, I wish I was 17! Even though being 17 is messy and awkward, I felt legitmately young and beautiful then. Now I just feel grown up. I had my first legal beer last night with Susan (love of my life, really) on an empty porch in the freezing cold, and it was exactly what I wanted ( Read more... )

guess im just updating about once a month now.

life is pretty good, so I dont have much to complain about.

guess thats all I'll say.

things have been pretty good living in the burbs. I love the fact that I live so close to the country. It makes for plenty of late night drives on unlit roads when I dont want to think about anything. My house is slowly coming together, did some unpacking yesterday. having my carpets cleaned tomorrow. Its mostly a quiet existence and god knows that ( Read more... )

 its moving day. Justin went to move some of his things and im here, at the old house in the ghetto, still getting my shit together. literally and figuratively. I cant help but be nervous and excited at the same time. And also a little sad. But I had my panic attacks earlier in the week. The ones where I fear commitment more than death. the ones ( Read more... )

sometimes the days are hard to get through.

maybe I will steal philip's idea of tape recording myself

since I talk to myself all day anyway

and I dont think anyone wants to hear it.

but I need to get out whatever hidden aggressions I have

that are making me feel

well,

angry.