I have 1.5 hours to finish these essays. I'm freaking out. You'd think at this point I'd just write them, right? but I can't start writing without starting to think about what I want, adn then I freak out, and then I cry. and this process pretty much occurrs in like 30 seconds. It's basically beautiful ( Read more... )

I know this is the third post in like 10 minutes but I can't sleep and my mind is moving a mile a minute ( Read more... )

Oh did I mention that I start tech tomorrow for a dance show that I know nothing about? It's going to be insane many hours. But I'm getting paid. And Hannah will be there which will either be much awkwardness or really really good.

I am feeling so fucking mistreated right now it is ridiculous. and probably an overreaction, but completely honest nonetheless. I find myself being able to find no words but "seriously?!" I don't usually have particularly high standards for how people treat me, or maybe I do but I don't usually really hold people to them. but this is pretty much ( Read more... )

The first half of today was really really shitty. basically, I sat in bed all day and moped and wrote and just curled up in a ball. I tried opening the window and letting the fresh air and sunshine cheer me up, but it didn't do much ( Read more... )

In other news, I don't know if I can stand being this alone for much longer... I really really need to just be able to curl up with someone. and making out would be uber nice. fuck my high standards and inability to have physicality without the emotions to go with it...

The two people that I consider like my two best friends have been pretty much unresponsive for the past week. I don't know if i can handle this ( Read more... )

I'm currently trying to hide from everything. I feel like this is a bad idea. But right now, gr, it's about the only thing I know how to do. Hide and just silently freak out a TON. yup, that sounds about right.

Fuck me.
I don't think I can stand this having crushes on three people that I can't be with for numerous reasons. Two of whom I don't even really want to be with if I think about it at all...
And I know I'm sposed to be all okay with being single and stuff... but, really, I'm not. Especially cuz it's not at all like it's my choice these days...

I just cried because I realized that I'm happy here. And I don't know what to do with that. It only makes me want to run away more. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Also, i really want to start writing here more, but no one reads it. so it's not ok...