a twelve foot post, an eight foot ladder, a jack-hammer weighing over one hundred pounds and a cheap bracket fixture cap. why were we so surprised when Kaveh got cut from his chest to his shoulder and a nasty bruise on the jaw? It all seemed to make a shitload of sense. But hey, at least I saved the jack hammer from falling in the lake, I know how ( Read more... )

from a head full of pressure ( Read more... )

Tequila, I love you. You mat be completely evil but, I still love you.
Vodka, don't be hurt. I know I spent a lot of time with Tequila last night, but there's still a special place for you in both my heart and my stomach.

I was not a good person last night.

Fucking Retards. Why the hell else would you go and ruin something so fucking good? Because your retards.

I yearn for the day when you realize you shot yourslef in the foot.

I gave blood tonight after class and three beers later, I'm feeling mighjty damn ggood.
Army of Darkness was on tonight, I had my grandmother watch it with me, she loved it.

Last night was fun

Me- giz chiem de?
Mike- What?
Me- fuck! it doesn't work if your not Araz!

the Wit
(52% dark, 26% spontaneous, 22% vulgar) your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're ( Read more... )

I have been angry lately ( Read more... )

We just got split up into groups for a class project. And while normally I am very opposed to working with other,(call it a superiority complex) our instuctor decided to place the hot state girl in my group. I think I might need to get together with her privately to discuss our collaberation (the assignment and the hordes of children I will father ( Read more... )

so here's a question. Let's Say that I all of a sudden became rich, and not just like the kind of rich that allows me to drive a nice car, I'm talking like seriuously fucking loaded. The kind of loaded that allows me to say fuck driving and hire a limo everyday ( Read more... )

I've got my whole Class just about on the floor laughing. The instructor iss in the middle of a lecture and keeps asking the class questions. I'm answering every single one of them out loud in what many of us feel is a very audible voice. Lori (the instructor) however is completely ignoring me and keeps fishing for an answer from the class. I guess ( Read more... )