I think that sometimes when I feel hurt, I get angry. I don’t know how to tell people how I feel. I can’t just say, look, I know what you’re doing is totally logical, but I wish it weren’t. I wish I could. I wish I could just work that lump out of my throat and say what I want to, instead of feeling the dulled sadness in my voice as I say goodbye ( Read more... )

Steve isn’t sure if he’s going to leave his house or not ( Read more... )

And the anger turns to heartache. I try to eat my dessert but the chocolate sauce makes me sick. I’m waiting for the phone to ring. I’ve been waiting for how long now? I’ve lost track of time. I’m not sure if it’s been twenty minutes, half an hour, an hour. All I know now is the familiar echo of Microsoft Word’s automated “saving your file” bells, ( Read more... )

I fucking HATE my mother for making them fucking vacuum our room so I had to get off the phone with Steve. She was like, “You’ve already been on for a while. You were on with him for, like, fifteen minutes.” [[This section censored for blatant rudeness toward people I care about. Gomen ( Read more... )

There’s no internet here. Right now I’m using my dad’s laptop to type this up. I keep getting paranoid he’ll see it, but then I remember that I have my own account. Of course, because he’s an administrator, he could EASILY look into my files, but I don’t think he’s technologically educated enough to know how to do or even that he can do that. XP ( Read more... )

I feel guilty for having fun at Otakon (pictures MUCH later) because fucked up things are happening with Steve's life right now. I don't know how much he would like people to know, so I'll probably explain everything later. But I can say that things haven't been working out so great for him. (If you ever read this, Steve, know that I love you and I ( Read more... )

I've been busy lately. The last "real" post I made was on May 10th. Wow.

I mean, I've been meaning to post a few haiku and a poem for a while, but somehow I haven't gotten around to it. The haiku are on lined paper and the poem is on my laptop which I dislike posting with because it tends to reset its internal clock to Thursday, January 1st, 2004. ( Read more... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE

I'll make this colourful and sparkly later, I just didn't want it to be late ^^;

Blah. Stupid lame-ass entry. Basically, my friends page is crowded. So I'm going to be clearing out my friends list ( Read more... )

...all right, I can hardly wait for Anime Boston 2006! Yeah! Maybe Laurel and I c'n be hide and Yoshiki, or maybe we'll be Nittle Grasper, or I could touch up the huge pocky box and wear it around, or maybe even make a new one with arm holes! Yay~ arm holes! I'm really happy and I'm so excited for what the future may hold ( Read more... )