baby, don't cry [3/4]
Nine - Run and Gone
He never wanted it to end.
Jongin thought he'd die of happiness as he slid his lips again and again against Kyungsoo's. He was still surprised that Kyungsoo was letting him do it and even more so that the older guy was kissing him back.
Five years. He can't believe he waited five years. If he had known that this is how it felt like to have Kyungsoo in his arms he would've done this a long time ago. He lifted his hand to touch Kyungsoo's cheek. I love you, he thought.
But suddenly Kyungsoo pulled away, shock etched plainly on his face. "No."
Kyungsoo quickly scrambled to his feet and left Jongin feeling empty. Jongin wanted to run after him but he heard Kyungsoo's door slam shut even before he was able to stand fully. Jongin slumped back at the sofa wondering what went wrong.
In his mind he saw the confusion and fright in Kyungsoo's eyes before the older boy ran. I didn't really turn into a frog, did I?
He touched his face just to make sure. Why did you run? Why are you so scared?
Jongin wanted answers and he's not gonna stop until he has them. They've got something wonderful here and Jongin won't let Kyungsoo throw it away. He's sure Kyungsoo feels something for him, too. He wouldn't kiss him back if he didn't.
He stood up to go to his room. It was late and he needs rest to clear his mind so he'll know what to do next. He slowed down and stopped when he passed by Kyungsoo's room.
"Goodnight, princess." He whispered and went on his way.
Jongin woke up eager to start the day. He wanted to talk to Kyungsoo about what happened last night. He left his room and went to the kitchen, hoping to catch the older boy cooking breakfast. But the food was already in the table when he got there along with a note that said: EAT.
Jongin turned the paper over but there was nothing else on it. How romantic.
He was disappointed that he didn't get to speak with Kyungsoo. Or that he didn't get to kiss him good morning. Or that he didn't get to hold hands with him on the way to school. He knew he was getting way over himself but a boy can dream, right?
The only thing that can dampen his thoughts was the memory of Kyungsoo's eyes last night. But Jongin believes he can overcome whatever fear Kyungsoo has. He has to.
Jongin never realized how hard it was to find a person who didn't want to be found. He sighed with frustration as he scoured the school grounds again looking for Kyungsoo. He wasn't answering his messages and his calls all go to voicemail. Where did that little boy disappear to?
Better just wait for him at home, Jongin thought. He walked towards the dance department to get his things so he can go. He was still looking around him as he walked, in the off chance that he'll see Kyungsoo, when he was pleasantly surprised to see the short guy from afar, standing by the dance department's entrance. He let out a short laugh. There he was tiring himself looking for him when there wasn't even a need!
He felt his heart swell at the thought that Kyungsoo was waiting for him. He quickened his steps to reach Kyungsoo but he was suddenly stopped in his tracks by the sight of that ahjussi suddenly appearing and hugging Kyungsoo from behind.
To his credit, Kyungsoo did appear surprised but he was all smiles as he recognized who hugged him. The Joonmyeon guy let go of Kyungsoo but proceeded to hold both his hands while skipping excitedly. This is war.
Kyungsoo had been dodging Jongin all day. He knows he wants to talk to him about that. After 27 messages and 12 voicemails, it’s safe to say that he really wanted to talk. But how could Kyungsoo face him after that?
He spent all night tossing and turning on the bed. He couldn't believe Jongin kissed him and that he kissed him back. It was not even just one kiss. He didn't know when one kiss ended and when another began. He was so into the moment that he didn't really care. He felt himself floating as their lips touched and melded and right now, he's making himself blush.
Kyungsoo touched his burning cheeks. It was not right to think about a kiss in the middle of the school. It was not right to think about the kiss. Period. He's got more important matters to think of like his song and how to magically let Jongin forget about things. Yeah, like I can.
But the world might be against him because now he finds himself in front of the place where Jongin will surely, absolutely find him: The Dance department. He met with Joonmyeon-hyung near the school gates so they can work on his song but then he was dragged back into the school cause hyung had something important to do first. Of course he can't say no, not with Joonmyeon smiling excitedly at him. He was surprised to see where they were going and his feet felt like lead. He told his hyung to go inside and he'll just wait by the entrance. He was nervous cause he was sure that Jongin will appear any minute now and then... he wasn't sure what.
"Kyungsoo-ah!" Joonmyeon called as he hugged the younger boy from behind.
"Oh, hyung. What happened?" Kyungsoo felt a little surprised at how Joonmyeon was acting.
Joonmyeon let him go, stood in front of him and held both his hands. He looked so happy, Kyungsoo had to smile.
"I'm going on a date!" The older guy said.
"On a date? With who?"
"With Yixing." Joonmyeon blushed a little.
"With Yixing? Uh, didn't you just meet him yesterday?" Kyungsoo asked.
"Well, yes. He called me last night. It was really late, too. He told me he wanted to see me and he wanted to go out with me. Of course I said no. I barely know him. But then I wasn't able to sleep thinking about... him. So I decided to take a chance." Joonmyeon said with a shrug.
"And you went here to tell him you changed your mind." Kyungsoo said with knowing look.
"Yes. And I don't regret it! And so there. I'm sorry I can't help you with your song today. I'm going on a date." Joonmyeon laughed shyly and Kyungsoo couldn't help but laugh with him. Who knew his serious hyung would giggle over a boy?
"I really like-"
"Excuse me, you're blocking the way."
Kyungsoo whipped his head to look at Jongin who was standing directly to his right. He didn't even know when the younger boy arrived.
"Jongin-ssi!" Joonmyeon greeted, oblivious to Jongin's scowl and the tension between him and Kyungsoo.
Jongin just nodded and Kyungsoo saw him look at his and Joonmyeon's held hands. He quickly dropped his hyung's hands. He didn't know why but Jongin's look made it imperative to do so.
It was awkward how nobody had anything to say. Kyungsoo tried to open his mouth several times but nothing came out. He looked at Jongin but the boy made no move to leave considering he told them that they were blocking his way.
"I'm good to go!" All three pair of eyes looked as Yixing approached them. Kyungsoo felt relieved with the interruption.
"Hi, Kyungsoo-ssi. I'm glad Jongin finally found you. He was into hysterics all day looking for you."
"I don't do hysterics..." Jongin muttered.
"Yeah? The way you walk around with your phone glued to your hand and your ear all day and-"
"Shut up, man." Jongin said with a rather hard pat on Yixing's back. Yixing winced.
"Alright, alright. Ready to go?" Yixing turned and smiled at Joonmyeon.
"Yeah." The older boy answered.
"We're off then. See you guys!" Yixing waved goodbye and held on to one of Joonmyeon's hand. Kyungsoo saw his hyung redden but didn't make any move to retrieve his hand.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Kyungsoo-ah. I promise to work double time so we can finish soon." Joomyeon said with a wave goodbye.
"Don't worry, hyung." Kyungsoo smiled and watched the two go. Still aware of Jongin's presence beside him, Kyungsoo looked to see the taller boy's mouth hanging open.
Jongin turned to him. "Did I just-?"
"Yes."
"Were they-?"
"Yes."
"Are they going-?"
"Yes, Jongin-ah. Yes." Kyungsoo said amused at Jongin's expression, momentarily forgetting that they were supposed to be awkward.
"Well, that's weird." Jongin said still not quite believing what he saw. But then he returned his gaze to Kyungsoo. "Hey-"
"I've got to go now. I've got tons to do." Kyungsoos finally realized that they were alone. He started to walk away but Jongin held on to his arm.
"Princess, why are you running?"
"I'm not."
Jongin raised an eyebrow clearly not believing him.
"I just got things piled up-"
"Wait here for a sec, I'll just get my stuff inside. Let's walk home together." Jongin said.
Kyungsoo wanted to say no but what excuse does he have? "Okay."
It was no more than a minute when Jongin returned to his side.
"Let's go, your highness. I would've sent for the royal carriage but the horses were tired."
Normally, he would've answered Jongin with a set down but he was too nervous to think of any.
"About last night-" Jongin started.
"Guys!" They both turned to look as Sehun ran to catch up with them. "I'm glad I saw you two!"
Kyungsoo never loved Sehun as much as he loved him at that moment.
"I'm glad, too. Real glad." Jongin said looking anything but.
"What is it?" Kyungsoo asked Sehun as the boy caught up with them.
"Do we really need to ask that?" Jongin rolled his eyes.
"Can I come with you?" Sehun asked.
"No." Jongin said.
"Yes." Kyungsoo glared at Jongin and took Sehun's arm as they walked. "Don't worry too much. Tell me all about it."
Kyungsoo can feel Jongin's eyes bore on his and Sehun's back all the way to the dorm.
Ten - The Frog gets the Princess
Jongin was thinking that Sehun's torture was long overdue.
He finally had Kyungsoo to himself and had all his speech prepared. He's got to do something about this Sehun-Luhan affair.
"But it's really getting harder and harder each time." Sehun complained to his friends.
And as if Sehun's presence isn't enough of a nuisance, Chanyeol came stomping through the door. What is this, a damned circus?
"What is?" Chanyeol asked. "I don't know what's going anymore."
"Kyungsoo and Sehun have this half baked plan of making Luhan work for Sehun's heart, right? Excuse me awhile while I gag." And Jongin proceeded to gag exaggeratedly and only stopped when he felt a pillow hit his head. He just laughed at Kyungsoo's murderous glare and continued. "But as we all know, Sehun is such a sissy he can't take it anymore."
Then Jongin directed his gaze at Sehun. "You know you can't resist Luhan for long. So stop it already."
"It's just been three days, Jongin. Don't you think Sehun should hold out for a week atleast?" Jongin was surprised to see Kyungsoo look and talk directly at him. Atleast there was something good that came out from the invasion of their dorms. Kyungsoo was no longer dodging him and was back to normal. Sort of.
"But can't you see the poor boy?" Jongin said while pointing at Sehun, testing how Kyungsoo will respond. "He's dying!"
"Stop exaggerating!" Kyungsoo looked at Sehun. "Although, you're right. He looks like a whipped puppy."
So far so good, Jongin thought. He tuned out Sehun and Chanyeol's voices, focusing more on Kyungsoo. Jongin watched as his face reflected worry, sympathy and affection for Sehun. Wait... what? Affection?
"Are you in love with Sehun?" Jongin blurted out of nowhere. His friends looked at him like he was out of his mind.
"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm crazy?" Kyungsoo looked as if he wanted to hit him with the pillow again.
"Well..." Jongin shrugged. "You always drop everything else when Sehun calls."
"I do not." Kyungsoo said defensively.
Yeah, you do, Jongin thought.
"So what do you plan to do now?" Chanyeol asked Sehun.
"I don't know." Sehun sighed.
"In any case, you don't have to call me everytime Luhan makes your knees weak. I have a life too, you know." Kyungsoo told Sehun. Jongin wanted to jump for joy.
"But it’s the only way I can fight it." Sehun explained.
"Kyungsoo's nagging turns me off, too." Jongin laughed, he's happy.
"Yeah, well, no dinner for you. Again." Kyungsoo threatened. Jongin felt even happier after that.
"You already cooked dinner." Jongin said confidently.
"Chanyeol, you're hungry right?" Kyungsoo asked his friend. "I have pasta in the kitchen."
"You said it!" Chanyeol stood up from the sofa to eat.
Holy shit! Kyungsoo was playing dirty.
"Don't you dare!" Jongin stood up quickly and raced with Chanyeol to the kitchen leaving Kyungsoo and Sehun to work out their Luhan problems. Kimchi spaghetti's more important.
"Put that down!"
"Kyungsoo-ah said it's mine." Chanyeol had a fork poised over the spaghetti on the table.
"No, he said he has pasta in the kitchen. He didn't say it's yours." Jongin was at the other end of the table looking intently at the fork.
"But I'm hungry." Chanyeol began lowering the fork towards the plate.
"Stop! Tell me what you want and it's yours."
"I really want to eat this. It's been ages since I ate food that Kyungsoo cooked."
"No one touches my kimchi spaghetti."
"It's just pasta, sheesh." Chanyeol proceeded to scoop a portion up and was suddenly assaulted by Jongin who held on to the arm that was holding the fork.
From then on it was a battle for dominance. Chanyeol had the advantage of height so he kept on pulling his arm upward to get the food near his mouth. But Jongin was more tenacious. It was Kyungsoo's kimchi spaghetti they were talking about here. That thought spurred him on even more. So he did what any healthy, mature male human being would do in this situation: he bit Chanyeol's arm.
"Aaaaaaah!"
"What are you two doing?" Kyungsoo said from the kitchen doorway, brows raised.
"Jongin bit me!" Chanyeol complained.
"He was eating my spaghetti!" Jongin answered.
"Jongin bit me!" Chanyeol repeated.
"You were eating my spaghetti!"
"You bit me!"
"Are you done with your duet?" Kyungsoo came closer to the two. He got the plate and went to the garbage bin.
Jongin guessed Kyungsoo's intent before he even placed plate above the bin. Chanyeol did, too.
"No!" They both shouted.
"Will you stop fighting?" Kyungsoo asked, the pasta still perilously hovering above the bin.
"Yes." The two boys answered in unison.
"Good. Guys, when will you grow up?" Kyungsoo asked in exasperation.
"I'm already tall." Chanyeol answered, confused.
"I knew, I knew Sehun got that from you." Kyungsoo sighed. Jongin snickered.
"As for you, say sorry to Chanyeol. What were you thinking? Biting your friend over pasta."
"It's my kimchi spaghetti."
"Say sorry."
"Alright. Sorry Chanyeol. I'll never do that again. Unless you will try to eat my food again on which case I'll have to-"
"Kim Jongin."
"I'm apologizing here, your highness. Yeah, so sorry Chanyeol."
"Shucks, don't be too hard on yourself. Come here!" And Chanyeol proceeded to envelope Jongin in a great bear hug.
"You can let go now." Jongin said against his friend's chest. Chanyeol laughed. Jongin felt bad about biting him. He was just really really tall baby.
"Now, wasn't that nice?" Jongin looked at Kyungsoo's smirk. His princess was having fun.
"Well, I've got to go. I've got early practice tomorrow." Chanyeol said. He went to Kyungsoo's side and hugged him, too. "I miss you guys. I don't get to hang out with you so much anymore. What with training and all..."
"Don't worry about it. Just drop by if you have time." Kyungsoo squeezed the tall guy's arm.
"Sure. And next time I'll get to eat your pasta. Jongin said your spaghetti makes him swoon like a girl-"
"Goodbye, Chanyeol." Jongin interrupted his friend. And he never said swoon. He said faint, he was sure he did.
"Yeah, yeah. See you guys!" Chanyeol left with a wave and a big grin.
Jongin looked at Kyungsoo who was near the sink.
They were alone.
Finally.
Yes.
Kyungsoo knows that look in Jongin's eyes. It's saying that he's got him cornered and he can't escape this time. He sighed. I guess they would really have that conversation today.
"Relax, princess. I'm not gonna eat you... yet." Jongin said with a mischievous grin.
"Stop it, Jongin." Kyungsoo said seriously.
"Alright. I'm sorry." Jongin came closer until they were standing face to face. "It's just... Can't you tell? I'm nervous."
Kyungsoo looked up at Jongin's face. The always confident Jongin did look nervous. "Why?"
"Because I know that whatever happens here will change everything between us."
"Then let's not do this."
"You know we have to. Last night..."
"Was a mistake. I was a tease. It just happened. I just wanted to get back at you for teasing me that afternoon." Kyungsoo explained.
"It wasn't a mistake and you know it. I was not alone in that kiss. You felt something, too."
"Yes! I felt embarrassed." Kyungsoo said harshly, looking at his feet. "I felt gauche."
"Don't. Please don't say that. You don't mean that." Jongin tipped his chin up so he was forced to look at him. "It was not a mistake. It was a dream come true."
"You don't know what you're saying." Kyungsoo wanted Jongin to understand. He can't do this. He just can't.
"Kyungsoo-ah, don't you know? When I touch you for a minute, even for a second, I feel my heartbeat triple. When we share a moment, I couldn't ask for more. When I look into your eyes I feel as if my life couldn't be better. What I'm trying to say is... "
Lalalalalala... Lalalalalala
Kyungsoo was jarred by the ringing of his phone in his pocket. Sehunnie. He took his cellphone out when Jongin snatched it from his hand and answered the call.
"No, you can't he's busy." Jongin paused. "Okay. I'll tell him."
Jongin ended the call and held out his phone to him. "Sehun says he gives up."
Kyungsoo was happy for his friend. He would at least get his happy ending with Luhan. Kyungsoo replaced the phone in his pocket, looking anywhere but at Jongin.
"Princess, look at me." Jongin said. "I'm not on the floor. I'm here."
He wanted to laugh at the taller boy's exasperated tone but he couldn't. He finally looked at Jongin's eyes. It was time he understood.
"Jongin, please don't tell me you love me. Because I can't ever fall in love. I don't have it in me." He can see he hurt the younger boy and that hurt him, too.
"How would you know if you never even tried? So let's do this, your highness. Let's try." Jongin came closer.
"I told you I can't. You're special to me. More than I've ever imagined. But I will only hurt you."
"Why won't you try?" Jongin asked sadly.
"Because everyone I've ever loved left me. I gave them all the love I can ever give that I feel there's nothing left. But they all took it with them and never came back." Kyungsoo thought about his mother and how many times he cried for her in his sleep. But she never did come back. He also thought of his so called friends who disappeared when he was no longer the popular protege. He's already so broken and he didn't want to give Jongin his defective heart. He deserved better.
"I'm still here, princess. I never left." Jongin took Kyungsoo's hand and held it against his chest. "I won't leave you."
"Jongin-ah. Don't you get it? I can never love you more than this. I love you and Chanyeol and the others. You're all my friends. But that's all I'm capable of."
"So you're saying that you love me just like the others."
"Yes." Kyungsoo nodded.
"So it's okay if I fall for someone else? It's okay if you see me kiss another?" Jongin challenged.
Kyungsoo saw an image of Jongin holding hands with another person. Jongin whispering sweet things and kissing lips that were not his. The image made him want to cry.
"I can see it. It's not okay. Give me a chance. Give us a chance." Jongin pleaded. "I know I'm botching this up and I'm not any good at this. But you see, this is the first time I fell in love."
"We hardly ever speak without insulting each other. How can you possibly love me?" Kyungsoo asked. He was afraid that Jongin was actually making him change his mind.
"I first saw you at the hospital, crying on your mother's bed. I thought I’ve never seen such loneliness before. Then you looked at me with those eyes and all I knew was I never wanted to see you cry anymore. Then it just happened. We met and I realized that your eyes were different whenever we argue. I saw all kinds of emotion there but never sadness. So I kept it up."
Kyungsoo couldn't move as Jongin cupped his face with his free hand. "Trust me, princess. I'm not asking you to love me forever. I'm just asking you to try. Please."
"You'll regret this." Kyungsoo said but he was already wrapping his arms around Jongin and burying his face against the taller boy's neck.
"Does this mean yes?" Jongin said with a laugh as he embraced the shorter guy closer to him.
"You're still asking?" Kyungsoo whispered.
"So we can make out now?" Jongin nuzzled Kyungsoo's ear. He was rewarded with a pull on his own ear. "Ouch?"
"I love you." The younger boy said after awhile.
"I-" Kyungsoo tried to say it but it was lodged somewhere between his heart and his lips.
"It's okay. I'll wait." He sounded disappointed but Jongin just held Kyungsoo tighter.
Kyungsoo didn't want to hear Jongin like that so he raised himself on his toes and told him how he felt through a kiss.
"That definitely means we can make out now." Jongin teased.
"You wish."
Eleven - Trial and Error
Just a few more minutes.
Jongin paced outside Kyungsoo's room. To say he was excited was probably an understatement. He woke up especially early for this. Earlier even than Kyungsoo and that never happens.
He was already dressing for school when he heard Kyungsoo go to the bathroom. He came out just in time to see the older boy disappear into his room to dress. He stood guard outside Kyungsoo's door and has been pacing there since then.
Finally, Jongin thought as he heard the door open. He turned to see Kyungsoo standing by the doorway looking a little surprised. He was wearing the same old clothes-checkered shirt on top of a white tee and jeans- but somehow he looked different to Jongin. He looked kinda special. Jongin went to stand in front of Kyungsoo.
"Uh, you're creeping me out." The older boy said with rounded eyes.
"Good morning, princess." Jongin leaned down to kiss him on a cheek. He saw Kyungsoo's face redden. That was why he woke up early, just for this.
"Seriously creeping me out." Kyungsoo said but with a small smile this time.
"Let's have breakfast." Jongin patted the shorter boy's head. Kyungsoo shot him a disbelieving look.
"You cooked breakfast?"
"No. Why would you think that?"
"You just said-"
"Let's. Have. Breakfast. I didn't say anything about cooking. And seriously, would you want me to cook for you?" Jongin asked with a smirk.
"I'd rather kill me myself than let your food do me in."
"Exactly."
"For a second there I thought..." Kyungsoo trailed off.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Tsk tsk, princess, every relationship needs honesty to survive."
"Well, I thought that if you did cook, I would really have to eat it."
Jongin froze, shocked at what Kyungsoo said. "You'd do that?"
"It wasn't a nice thought, but yes, I would've. You asked me to try, right?" Kyungsoo said, smiling.
Jongin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Kyungsoo saying he would eat food that Jongin prepared was equal to accepting major commitment. To him, it was up there with declarations of love and forever. He didn't know what to say.
Jongin walked dazedly towards the kitchen but Kyungsoo stayed him with a hand on his arm.
"Jongin-ah? Good morning to you, too." Kyungsoo raised on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. The smaller guy then proceeded on his way to the kitchen leaving Jongin shocked for the second time in two minutes.
"So how is it?" Jongin asked Kyungsoo. They were at the cafeteria sitting opposite each other, having lunch. He'll probably be late for his next class as this place was far from his department, but hey, one hour with Kyungsoo was worth it.
"The food?" Kyungsoo looked up from his plate.
"No. Being with me. I mean being together." Jongin asked leaning on the table.
Kyungsoo looked at his watch and said, "We've just been going out for technically thirteen hours, around six of which we were asleep. Don't you think it's kind of early to ask me that?"
"Princess-" He started to say but he saw Kyungsoo's attention was caught by something behind him. And he has a feeling what, or should he say who, it was.
"Jongin-ah! Kyungsoo-hyung!" Sehun greeted happily. Attached to his side was a smiling, albeit a little embarrassed, Luhan.
"Hey, guys." The pretty boy said.
Jongin and Kyungsoo looked pointedly at the couple's linked hands.
"Well, yes. It's official. Luhan and Me. Me and Luhan." Sehun smiled down at his boyfriend.
Jongin rolled his eyes at the picture the two was making. Only thing you needed were heart shaped bubbles around them and you've got yourself a valentine's card.
"I'm glad." Kyungsoo said with a smile.
"Thanks, Kyungsoo." Luhan said as he sat beside him. "I missed hanging around with you."
"I'm sorry about last time. I was just concerned about Sehun." Kyungsoo squeezed Luhan's hand.
"I know and I'm happy that you are. He's such a baby sometimes." Luhan said throwing an affectionate look at Sehun who having some sort of secret man to man talk with Jongin. "But can I ask? Since you're here with Jongin, are you..?"
Kyungsoo reddened but nodded.
"Ha! That's great! Since when?"
"Um, last night."
"Really? That was some lucky night then."
Kyungsoo didn't know what else to say. He feels a little uncomfortable discussing their relationship since it's still new and strange to him.
Luhan understanding Kyungsoo's silence leaned close to him and whispered. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"From the rabid look on their eyes, I say it's food. With them, it's always food."
It was food, but not quite.
"You're together." Sehun whispered to Jongin. “Admit it. You're going out with Kyungsoo-hyung."
"What? Why'd you think that?" Jongin asked just as quietly. He wanted to laugh at the younger guy. He's not sure why Sehun was whispering though. It wasn't as if he was hiding that they were dating.
"Man, only true love will make you go to lunch here. This cafeteria's almost 15 mins away from our department." Sehun said matter of factly. "And you're still here talking with me when we both know doing so will make us both late for next class."
"Then why are you still here?"
"Dumb question, man." Sehun said. "So?"
"Maybe, I just went here for this burger." Jongin said with a shrug. Sehun snorted.
"As much as I know how food makes our world go round, you wouldn't be here for that. There's a perfectly close cafeteria by our building serving the same greasy glob of goodness."
"Okay, I'm caught. Kyungsoo asked me, begged me even, to go out with him and I said yes." Jongin said with a confident smirk.
"And in what alternate universe did he do it?" Another snort from the maknae. Sehun straightened in his seat and addressed Kyungsoo. "Hey, hyung. Jongin said that-"
But Jongin clamped his hand over Sehun's mouth before he can continue.
"Jongin said what?" Kyungsoo asked looking at them as if they were demented.
"Nothing, I said food here sucks."
Kyungsoo raised a brow and turned to speak to Luhan. "I told you it was food."
Luhan laughed. He patted Sehun's hand and proceeded to hold it, their fingers entwined across the table. Jongin was distracted by the sight and completely forgot that he still has his hand over Sehun's mouth.
"Maybe you can let go of Sehun now." Kyungsoo said.
Jongin let go and Sehun proceeded to lean closer to Luhan. He and Kyungsoo watched as the two became lost in their own world staring at each other’s eyes and holding hands. Jongin didn't want to look as lovesick as Sehun does but maybe it does feel nice to do that. He turned his gaze to Kyungsoo's hand on the table. It was small, the nails were short and it looks like it will fit nicely in his.
As if in its own accord, his right hand started reaching out slowly for Kyungsoo's. His gaze was intent on the hand resting near the older boy's plate. But when the tips of his fingers touched Kyungsoo's hand the said hand retreated. Jongin looked up to find Kyungsoo looking at him questioningly, looking a little flustered.
Jongin went on to grab Kyungsoo's fork to excuse his wandering hand and proceeded to get food from the plate with it. He quickly shoves the food in his mouth to hide whatever embarrassment he's feeling with his failed attempt at holding hands. Predictably, he choked on the meat. Good thing Kyungsoo gave him his drink.
"I thought the food here sucks." Kyungsoo said.
"Uh, I thought yours was better." Jongin said with a shrug, his eyes watering from coughing.
"I understand but there's no need to kill yourself for it." Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at him. Then he leaned across the table and surprised Jongin with wiping the excess water clinging from the corner of his lips with his thumb. Surprising still was when the said thumb drifted towards his lower lip as if in a caress. Jongin was hypnotized by the way Kyungsoo was looking at his mouth and by the feel of Kyungsoo's touch. Now if he would only come closer...
"You sure are slow, man."
The spell was broken by Sehun's remark. He looked to see Sehun and Luhan watching them from their side of the table. Kyungsoo blushed and looked away. Jongin scowled at the little pest.
"Luhan, in consideration of our friendship, I'm giving you five seconds to get him out of here." Jongin threatened.
"Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? Stare me to death? If I was Kyungsoo-hyung I would've fallen asleep waiting for you to make your move." Sehun said with a shake of his head.
"Four, three...”
"Pfft. Luhan, let's show him how it's done." Sehun promptly cupped Luhan's face and placed a soft kiss on the startled boy’s lips. When it ended, he turned once again to Jongin and said, "Spontaneity, man, that's the key to- Ouch!"
Sehun rubbed his nose after Luhan flicked it quite hard.
"Sorry, Jongin. As much as I want you to let him have it, he's important to me." He then stood up, took Sehun's arm to drag him away. "See you later guys."
Jongin watched as Sehun slipped his arm around Luhan's waist as they walked. Luhan for all his supposed exasperation with Sehun leaned to the younger boy and placed his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. He was not sure if he'll be appalled or jealous of the public display. He returned his gaze to Kyungsoo.
"Jongin are you finished? I have to go for my next class now." The short boy said, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Yeah. Let's go."
They went outside and Jongin felt the awkwardness between them. He wants to break it before he leaves for class.
"Don't mind Sehun too much, princess."
"I think that should be my line."
"You're gonna call me princess, too?"
"No. I was actually going to tell you to don't mind him." Then a teasing glint entered Kyungsoo's eyes. "You can take your time. I promise I won't fall asleep."
"Are you saying I'm slow?" Jongin asked incredulously.
Kyungsoo just smiled another teasing smile and left him sputtering.
He knew he shouldn't have joked about Jongin being slow. He knew that his boyfriend was just being considerate of his feelings. But sometimes when Jongin looks at him a certain way, like earlier in the cafeteria, Kyungsoo wishes he'll make a move faster.
Then why don't you make a move yourself? He asked himself. But it's kind of different if he's the one getting closer. There's just so much to lose. He knows he's got to do it. It's unfair for Jongin if he does all the giving in this relationship of theirs, but it's too soon. He'll do it someday not just right now.
This morning, he didn't know what to expect but he knew he'd never been happier when he saw Jongin outside his room, smiling that sexy smile of his. Knowing that he was waiting for him made him want to be soft and romantic and all the stuff that comes with falling in love but he settled for that small kiss on the cheek instead. Because wanting and being are two different things and he needs time to cross from one to the other.
It's crazy though how he can't stop thinking about Jongin all day today. He was in school to study, not to think about how the younger boy can make him feel like a... bubble, for a lack of a better word. He feels so light that he's floating but he feels as fragile, too as if one touch can break him.
Is this really what it's all about then? The thought is really scary.
Kyungsoo pulled his blue cap lower on his head because it makes him feel safer, blocking out the rest of the world as the cap's shadow hides his face.
He entered the piano room determined to at least get some work done today. He has to finish the song in two weeks and ready to be sung three weeks after on the graduation performance. He was just about to turn on the lights when he heard someone enter the room behind him.
"Kyungsoo."
Suddenly he was grabbed from behind and was turned so he was facing Jongin who pushed him until his back was against the wall.
"I've waited all day for this." He whispered. He took off the blue cap off from Kyungsoo's head and leaned close.
"For what?"
"For this." Jongin moved to close what little distance is between them. Kyungsoo couldn't help it, he giggled.
Jongin's lips paused in their descent and Kyungsoo saw it purse. Jongin then went on to lean his head against the wall right next to the shorter boy's head.
"You know princess, when I imagined this, that wasn't exactly how I thought you'd react."
"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo giggled some more. "It's just, it's just so..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Stop laughing already." Jongin said grudgingly.
Kyungsoo feeling guilty about laughing at him shifted his head a little so he can kiss him on the cheek. "For what it's worth, I appreciated the gesture. It was so... cave-man like."
He wanted to laugh again, really, but Jongin chose that moment to place his lips against Kyungsoo's neck and whined. "You told me I was slow."
His breath hitched as he felt Jongin's lips move against him. Well, he was certainly fast now.
Jongin placed small kisses against his neck, jaw and all the way to his ear where he whispered. "You're not changing your mind about us are you? I know it's just been a day but..."
Kyungsoo wanted to melt as his non-friend-turned-boyfriend held him closer. "No. I haven't"
"Good." Jongin's lips were nearing his own. "I'm not just imagining this, right?"
"Uh, considering I can feel the light switch digging at my back, I can safely say yes, this is real." Kyungsoo joked trying to cover his nervousness. He was not afraid of Jongin, he was more afraid of himself cause he felt his heart give another piece of itself to the younger boy.
Jongin laughed and shifted Kyungsoo so his back was still against the wall sans the light switch. "Better now?"
"Yeah." Kyungsoo was waiting for Jongin to continue what he was doing but the taller guy just stared at him making him conscious again. "Uh, any minute now-"
"Your highness, sometimes I feel you just want me for my body."
"Shut up." Kyungsoo surprised both of them by pulling Jongin close and fitting their lips together. He was thinking that it was the only way to stop Jongin from talking too much and it's actually a humanitarian mission cause one day he'll get shot from the things that come out from his mouth. He was also thinking he really didn't have time for this kind of dalliance as he has lots to do. But as their kisses ran deeper, longer and sweeter he stopped thinking at all.
Twelve - The Fight
He couldn't get any happier, could he?
It's only been ten days but Jongin felt that Kyungsoo and he were making progress. Sure, they still haven't held hands and they were not as showy in public as the disgustingly cute couple currently making googly eyes with each other in their dorm's sofa. But Kyungsoo more than makes up for it when they're alone. The thing he does with his... Jongin can feel himself blush and the realization made him blush even more.
Distracting himself from his wayward thoughts, he decided to interrupt his friends cause one more cheesy love declaration from Sehun and he thinks he's gonna puke.
"Guys, there's a reason why this was called our dorm. Don't you have someplace else to do that...? Whatever you're doing?"
"It's called poetry, Jongin-ah. But you will never appreciate it since you're uncivilized."
"Poetry? I thought you were just grunting random noises. And Luhan, you appreciate this? I expected better from you." Jongin said accusingly and crossed his arms in disapproval.
Luhan laughed. "Of course, silly. When I promised to love Sehun it came with the unspoken promise to accept everything he is. Uh, quirks and all."
Sehun looked suspiciously at Luhan, sure that his boyfriend meant something by that remark. "So you're saying that you're just putting up with me?"
"No. I'm saying I love you forever." Luhan then pulled Sehun and cuddled him.
"Sheesh, I'm gonna be sick." Jongin gagged.
"Food's ready!" Kyungsoo called out from the kitchen. Sehun stood up and pulled Luhan to his feet so they can go together.
"Ah, that answers my question as to why you two are here." Jongin said.
"Kyungsoo invited us. He said he wantd to get together this weekend. Didn't he tell you?" Luhan explained.
"He told me we're doing something special, he didn't tell me that 'we' meant all of us." Jongin muttered.
Sehun and Luhan disappeared towards the kitchen and Kyungsoo came out looking around the dorm. "Chanyeol's not here yet?"
"No. Who else did you invite?" Jongin said with a pout.
"I tried to call Yixing and Joonmyeon-hyung but they already had plans."
"Lucky Yixing, then. And luckier Ahjussi." Jongin said sounding disgruntled.
"Stop sulking. Don't you want to spend time with our friends?" kyungsoo went close and chucked his chin. "You're such a kid."
Jongin's mood easily lifted with that.
"Come on, now." Kyungsoo walked towards the kitchen followed by Jongin but there was a knock on the door.
"Go ahead. Maybe it's Chanyeol. I'll just bring him there. Make sure Sehun hasn't eaten everything yet."
Jongin opened the door expecting their tall friend but it was just a mailman delivering a first class letter addressed to him. He opened it and read the content slowly.
He was chosen as the school representative to the popular talent company auditions. He remembered submitting a dance video together with Yixing and Sehun. He already forgot about it, thinking that he didn't make it. Now he didn't know if he should be happy about the news or not. If he gets accepted that will literally open doors for him. It's what every aspiring dancer dreams of. But on the other hand, the training will be in Japan and would last at least two years.
His relationship with Kyungsoo was by no means stable and he'll turn out to be another person who'll leave him behind. Decision made, Jongin crumpled the letter and threw it in the trash. Being with the short guy's a thousand times more important.
"I think a few more notes inserted here will do it. And after the lyrics, we're done." Joonmyeon said. He and Kyungsoo were in the piano room again and both are determined to finish the song today. They had to, tomorrow's the deadline.
"I officially have a headache." Kyungsoo complained. His head buried in his hands. Even wearing his thinking cap's not helping.
"I'm sorry. We could have finished this sooner but I was... busy." Joonmyeon reddened.
Kyungsoo laughed at his hyung. "I understand hyung. Stop apologizing."
"Yeah, but I feel guilty. Yixing has been dragging me everywhere and I could've said no at least a couple of times."
"Could you have said no?" Kyungsoo asked with a raised brow.
"Well, no. But I could've tried." They both laughed at that.
Returning to the task at hand, Kyungsoo read the music sheet for the millionth time. There was just something missing.
Joonmyeon noticed the frown on Kyungsoo's face. "You know, for me, your song is not really telling a story. It's actually speaking to the listener. It's reassuring and promising. But it doesn't exactly say what. Maybe that's what's missing. What exactly are you promising?"
Forever. That's what he would want. Someone to give him forever.
He remembered Jongin's words.
I never left.
I'll never leave you.
Kyungsoo grabbed a pen and wrote on the sheets. Maybe, just maybe he found the right words to the song.
Kyungsoo felt good. He felt he accomplished something great today. He was hugging his binder, excited. Inside was the finished song for his final thesis.
"Thanks, hyung. Finally done!"
"You’re welcome. It was fun to watch you pore over the lyrics. It was like you were possessed." Joonmyeon joked.
"I just wanted to write it all down cause i might lose the momentum."
Just then Yixing arrived and immediately went to Joonyeon's side. "Hey, there."
"Hey, yourself." Jooyeon answered with a smile.
"Kyungsoo-ssi. Any news about Jongin's audition?" Yixing greeted him with a nod. "Did he make it?"
"Audition?" Kyungsoo asked.
"Yeah, the one with YG. It's today. We Dance students submitted demo videos about three months ago. They just announced last week that Jongin and a couple of others made the cut for the finals."
Kyungsoo didn't know what to say. It's the first time he heard about this.
"Well, I guess he went alone. I haven't seen him all day." Kyungsoo answered.
"Oh, maybe he did. Just tell him to call me once he gets home. I want to know what happened." Yixing said.
After saying their goodbyes, Joonmyeon left with Yixing and Kyungsoo went home alone. He was still confused on why Jongin didn't tell him about the auditions. I hope he gets in.
But Kyungsoo was surprised to see the younger boy sitting on the sofa and watching TV when he arrived home.
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here." Jongin smiled and stood up to greet Kyungsoo properly with a kiss. But Kyungsoo stopped him.
"Yes, but why are you here? Right now. Don't you have the auditions to go to?"
"How did you know about that?" Jongin wore a guarded expression.
"Yixing told me. I wouldn't have known if he didn't. Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was nothing important anyway."
"Nothing important?! It's the chance to show the world how great you are!" Kyungsoo couldn't believe what he was hearing from Jongin.
"I don't want it." He said stubbornly.
Kyungsoo looked at the wall clock. "You still have time if you hurry up. Get your bag, let's go.”
"I don't want to go, princess. It's not a big deal. I don't want to train in that company anyway."
"Are you crazy? People are dying to have this chance and you'll just throw it away?" Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin's arm and tried to drag him out the door but Jongin was resisting.
"Kyungsoo-ah, I said I don't want to."
The older boy stopped pulling and turned to look at Jongin's serious expression.
"But why?" Kyungsoo asked genuinely confused. "Why won't you go?"
"Because the training is at least two years and it's not a bus ride away. It's in Japan. I don't want to go. I won't go." Jongin moved closer to Kyungsoo. "I don't want to be away from you."
Kyungsoo's mind was reeling. His heart is rejecting the image of Jongin walking away from him. But what could he do?
"Hey." Jongin held on to Kyungsoo's shoulder.
"It doesn't matter. This is important. We have to hurry up." Kyungsoo stepped backwards, dislodging Jongin's hand.
"Didn't you hear me? I told you I won't go."
"You're not going because of me. How is that even a reason?" Kyungsoo can feel his heart closing itself once more. He can't help it.
"It's reason enough for me. Let it go."
"You're letting go of this big chance for something as flimsy as that?"
Jongin looked hard at him. "It isn't flimsy."
"What isn't? This?" Kyungsoo pointed at both of them. "Don't get too attached to something that we're not even sure will work.”
"This something means more to me than that stupid audition. This is you and me. How could I not get attached?"
"Well, you shouldn't have. It's not too soon to stop, Jongin-ah."
"Stop? I can't believe you said that." Jongin was shaking his head. "How can you easily tell me to go and leave you?"
"Listen, this is your future we're talking about here. Not whatever relationship we have." All Kyungsoo could think of was that Jongin needed to go to that audition. Because thinking of anything else will hurt.
"I never did think much of where I'll be in the future but every time I would imagine it I'd see us together and that's enough for me. All I needed was your trust and I promised myself I could make it work." Jongin turned away from Kyungsoo. "Did you even once think of a future with me?"
Had he? Kyungsoo thought. But he can't remember a time that he did. Because thinking of their future or any future means making him trust too much on the present. And he's not ready yet.
"You are so afraid of getting hurt that you'd rather hurt me." Kyungsoo heard the disappointment and accusation in Jongin's voice.
"I told you you'd regret this." He whispered. He didn't want to hurt anybody especially Jongin. But his stupid heart won't listen.
"I don't, princess. I don't regret anything at all. But maybe you do." Jongin walked away and disappeared to his room.
Later that night as Kyungsoo was lying in bed, he heard the front door open and close. And he knew as he closed his eyes against the threatening tears that he may have lost not only his boyfriend but also his best non-friend.
Part I // Part II // Part III // FINAL
He never wanted it to end.
Jongin thought he'd die of happiness as he slid his lips again and again against Kyungsoo's. He was still surprised that Kyungsoo was letting him do it and even more so that the older guy was kissing him back.
Five years. He can't believe he waited five years. If he had known that this is how it felt like to have Kyungsoo in his arms he would've done this a long time ago. He lifted his hand to touch Kyungsoo's cheek. I love you, he thought.
But suddenly Kyungsoo pulled away, shock etched plainly on his face. "No."
Kyungsoo quickly scrambled to his feet and left Jongin feeling empty. Jongin wanted to run after him but he heard Kyungsoo's door slam shut even before he was able to stand fully. Jongin slumped back at the sofa wondering what went wrong.
In his mind he saw the confusion and fright in Kyungsoo's eyes before the older boy ran. I didn't really turn into a frog, did I?
He touched his face just to make sure. Why did you run? Why are you so scared?
Jongin wanted answers and he's not gonna stop until he has them. They've got something wonderful here and Jongin won't let Kyungsoo throw it away. He's sure Kyungsoo feels something for him, too. He wouldn't kiss him back if he didn't.
He stood up to go to his room. It was late and he needs rest to clear his mind so he'll know what to do next. He slowed down and stopped when he passed by Kyungsoo's room.
"Goodnight, princess." He whispered and went on his way.
Jongin woke up eager to start the day. He wanted to talk to Kyungsoo about what happened last night. He left his room and went to the kitchen, hoping to catch the older boy cooking breakfast. But the food was already in the table when he got there along with a note that said: EAT.
Jongin turned the paper over but there was nothing else on it. How romantic.
He was disappointed that he didn't get to speak with Kyungsoo. Or that he didn't get to kiss him good morning. Or that he didn't get to hold hands with him on the way to school. He knew he was getting way over himself but a boy can dream, right?
The only thing that can dampen his thoughts was the memory of Kyungsoo's eyes last night. But Jongin believes he can overcome whatever fear Kyungsoo has. He has to.
Jongin never realized how hard it was to find a person who didn't want to be found. He sighed with frustration as he scoured the school grounds again looking for Kyungsoo. He wasn't answering his messages and his calls all go to voicemail. Where did that little boy disappear to?
Better just wait for him at home, Jongin thought. He walked towards the dance department to get his things so he can go. He was still looking around him as he walked, in the off chance that he'll see Kyungsoo, when he was pleasantly surprised to see the short guy from afar, standing by the dance department's entrance. He let out a short laugh. There he was tiring himself looking for him when there wasn't even a need!
He felt his heart swell at the thought that Kyungsoo was waiting for him. He quickened his steps to reach Kyungsoo but he was suddenly stopped in his tracks by the sight of that ahjussi suddenly appearing and hugging Kyungsoo from behind.
To his credit, Kyungsoo did appear surprised but he was all smiles as he recognized who hugged him. The Joonmyeon guy let go of Kyungsoo but proceeded to hold both his hands while skipping excitedly. This is war.
Kyungsoo had been dodging Jongin all day. He knows he wants to talk to him about that. After 27 messages and 12 voicemails, it’s safe to say that he really wanted to talk. But how could Kyungsoo face him after that?
He spent all night tossing and turning on the bed. He couldn't believe Jongin kissed him and that he kissed him back. It was not even just one kiss. He didn't know when one kiss ended and when another began. He was so into the moment that he didn't really care. He felt himself floating as their lips touched and melded and right now, he's making himself blush.
Kyungsoo touched his burning cheeks. It was not right to think about a kiss in the middle of the school. It was not right to think about the kiss. Period. He's got more important matters to think of like his song and how to magically let Jongin forget about things. Yeah, like I can.
But the world might be against him because now he finds himself in front of the place where Jongin will surely, absolutely find him: The Dance department. He met with Joonmyeon-hyung near the school gates so they can work on his song but then he was dragged back into the school cause hyung had something important to do first. Of course he can't say no, not with Joonmyeon smiling excitedly at him. He was surprised to see where they were going and his feet felt like lead. He told his hyung to go inside and he'll just wait by the entrance. He was nervous cause he was sure that Jongin will appear any minute now and then... he wasn't sure what.
"Kyungsoo-ah!" Joonmyeon called as he hugged the younger boy from behind.
"Oh, hyung. What happened?" Kyungsoo felt a little surprised at how Joonmyeon was acting.
Joonmyeon let him go, stood in front of him and held both his hands. He looked so happy, Kyungsoo had to smile.
"I'm going on a date!" The older guy said.
"On a date? With who?"
"With Yixing." Joonmyeon blushed a little.
"With Yixing? Uh, didn't you just meet him yesterday?" Kyungsoo asked.
"Well, yes. He called me last night. It was really late, too. He told me he wanted to see me and he wanted to go out with me. Of course I said no. I barely know him. But then I wasn't able to sleep thinking about... him. So I decided to take a chance." Joonmyeon said with a shrug.
"And you went here to tell him you changed your mind." Kyungsoo said with knowing look.
"Yes. And I don't regret it! And so there. I'm sorry I can't help you with your song today. I'm going on a date." Joonmyeon laughed shyly and Kyungsoo couldn't help but laugh with him. Who knew his serious hyung would giggle over a boy?
"I really like-"
"Excuse me, you're blocking the way."
Kyungsoo whipped his head to look at Jongin who was standing directly to his right. He didn't even know when the younger boy arrived.
"Jongin-ssi!" Joonmyeon greeted, oblivious to Jongin's scowl and the tension between him and Kyungsoo.
Jongin just nodded and Kyungsoo saw him look at his and Joonmyeon's held hands. He quickly dropped his hyung's hands. He didn't know why but Jongin's look made it imperative to do so.
It was awkward how nobody had anything to say. Kyungsoo tried to open his mouth several times but nothing came out. He looked at Jongin but the boy made no move to leave considering he told them that they were blocking his way.
"I'm good to go!" All three pair of eyes looked as Yixing approached them. Kyungsoo felt relieved with the interruption.
"Hi, Kyungsoo-ssi. I'm glad Jongin finally found you. He was into hysterics all day looking for you."
"I don't do hysterics..." Jongin muttered.
"Yeah? The way you walk around with your phone glued to your hand and your ear all day and-"
"Shut up, man." Jongin said with a rather hard pat on Yixing's back. Yixing winced.
"Alright, alright. Ready to go?" Yixing turned and smiled at Joonmyeon.
"Yeah." The older boy answered.
"We're off then. See you guys!" Yixing waved goodbye and held on to one of Joonmyeon's hand. Kyungsoo saw his hyung redden but didn't make any move to retrieve his hand.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Kyungsoo-ah. I promise to work double time so we can finish soon." Joomyeon said with a wave goodbye.
"Don't worry, hyung." Kyungsoo smiled and watched the two go. Still aware of Jongin's presence beside him, Kyungsoo looked to see the taller boy's mouth hanging open.
Jongin turned to him. "Did I just-?"
"Yes."
"Were they-?"
"Yes."
"Are they going-?"
"Yes, Jongin-ah. Yes." Kyungsoo said amused at Jongin's expression, momentarily forgetting that they were supposed to be awkward.
"Well, that's weird." Jongin said still not quite believing what he saw. But then he returned his gaze to Kyungsoo. "Hey-"
"I've got to go now. I've got tons to do." Kyungsoos finally realized that they were alone. He started to walk away but Jongin held on to his arm.
"Princess, why are you running?"
"I'm not."
Jongin raised an eyebrow clearly not believing him.
"I just got things piled up-"
"Wait here for a sec, I'll just get my stuff inside. Let's walk home together." Jongin said.
Kyungsoo wanted to say no but what excuse does he have? "Okay."
It was no more than a minute when Jongin returned to his side.
"Let's go, your highness. I would've sent for the royal carriage but the horses were tired."
Normally, he would've answered Jongin with a set down but he was too nervous to think of any.
"About last night-" Jongin started.
"Guys!" They both turned to look as Sehun ran to catch up with them. "I'm glad I saw you two!"
Kyungsoo never loved Sehun as much as he loved him at that moment.
"I'm glad, too. Real glad." Jongin said looking anything but.
"What is it?" Kyungsoo asked Sehun as the boy caught up with them.
"Do we really need to ask that?" Jongin rolled his eyes.
"Can I come with you?" Sehun asked.
"No." Jongin said.
"Yes." Kyungsoo glared at Jongin and took Sehun's arm as they walked. "Don't worry too much. Tell me all about it."
Kyungsoo can feel Jongin's eyes bore on his and Sehun's back all the way to the dorm.
Ten - The Frog gets the Princess
Jongin was thinking that Sehun's torture was long overdue.
He finally had Kyungsoo to himself and had all his speech prepared. He's got to do something about this Sehun-Luhan affair.
"But it's really getting harder and harder each time." Sehun complained to his friends.
And as if Sehun's presence isn't enough of a nuisance, Chanyeol came stomping through the door. What is this, a damned circus?
"What is?" Chanyeol asked. "I don't know what's going anymore."
"Kyungsoo and Sehun have this half baked plan of making Luhan work for Sehun's heart, right? Excuse me awhile while I gag." And Jongin proceeded to gag exaggeratedly and only stopped when he felt a pillow hit his head. He just laughed at Kyungsoo's murderous glare and continued. "But as we all know, Sehun is such a sissy he can't take it anymore."
Then Jongin directed his gaze at Sehun. "You know you can't resist Luhan for long. So stop it already."
"It's just been three days, Jongin. Don't you think Sehun should hold out for a week atleast?" Jongin was surprised to see Kyungsoo look and talk directly at him. Atleast there was something good that came out from the invasion of their dorms. Kyungsoo was no longer dodging him and was back to normal. Sort of.
"But can't you see the poor boy?" Jongin said while pointing at Sehun, testing how Kyungsoo will respond. "He's dying!"
"Stop exaggerating!" Kyungsoo looked at Sehun. "Although, you're right. He looks like a whipped puppy."
So far so good, Jongin thought. He tuned out Sehun and Chanyeol's voices, focusing more on Kyungsoo. Jongin watched as his face reflected worry, sympathy and affection for Sehun. Wait... what? Affection?
"Are you in love with Sehun?" Jongin blurted out of nowhere. His friends looked at him like he was out of his mind.
"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm crazy?" Kyungsoo looked as if he wanted to hit him with the pillow again.
"Well..." Jongin shrugged. "You always drop everything else when Sehun calls."
"I do not." Kyungsoo said defensively.
Yeah, you do, Jongin thought.
"So what do you plan to do now?" Chanyeol asked Sehun.
"I don't know." Sehun sighed.
"In any case, you don't have to call me everytime Luhan makes your knees weak. I have a life too, you know." Kyungsoo told Sehun. Jongin wanted to jump for joy.
"But it’s the only way I can fight it." Sehun explained.
"Kyungsoo's nagging turns me off, too." Jongin laughed, he's happy.
"Yeah, well, no dinner for you. Again." Kyungsoo threatened. Jongin felt even happier after that.
"You already cooked dinner." Jongin said confidently.
"Chanyeol, you're hungry right?" Kyungsoo asked his friend. "I have pasta in the kitchen."
"You said it!" Chanyeol stood up from the sofa to eat.
Holy shit! Kyungsoo was playing dirty.
"Don't you dare!" Jongin stood up quickly and raced with Chanyeol to the kitchen leaving Kyungsoo and Sehun to work out their Luhan problems. Kimchi spaghetti's more important.
"Put that down!"
"Kyungsoo-ah said it's mine." Chanyeol had a fork poised over the spaghetti on the table.
"No, he said he has pasta in the kitchen. He didn't say it's yours." Jongin was at the other end of the table looking intently at the fork.
"But I'm hungry." Chanyeol began lowering the fork towards the plate.
"Stop! Tell me what you want and it's yours."
"I really want to eat this. It's been ages since I ate food that Kyungsoo cooked."
"No one touches my kimchi spaghetti."
"It's just pasta, sheesh." Chanyeol proceeded to scoop a portion up and was suddenly assaulted by Jongin who held on to the arm that was holding the fork.
From then on it was a battle for dominance. Chanyeol had the advantage of height so he kept on pulling his arm upward to get the food near his mouth. But Jongin was more tenacious. It was Kyungsoo's kimchi spaghetti they were talking about here. That thought spurred him on even more. So he did what any healthy, mature male human being would do in this situation: he bit Chanyeol's arm.
"Aaaaaaah!"
"What are you two doing?" Kyungsoo said from the kitchen doorway, brows raised.
"Jongin bit me!" Chanyeol complained.
"He was eating my spaghetti!" Jongin answered.
"Jongin bit me!" Chanyeol repeated.
"You were eating my spaghetti!"
"You bit me!"
"Are you done with your duet?" Kyungsoo came closer to the two. He got the plate and went to the garbage bin.
Jongin guessed Kyungsoo's intent before he even placed plate above the bin. Chanyeol did, too.
"No!" They both shouted.
"Will you stop fighting?" Kyungsoo asked, the pasta still perilously hovering above the bin.
"Yes." The two boys answered in unison.
"Good. Guys, when will you grow up?" Kyungsoo asked in exasperation.
"I'm already tall." Chanyeol answered, confused.
"I knew, I knew Sehun got that from you." Kyungsoo sighed. Jongin snickered.
"As for you, say sorry to Chanyeol. What were you thinking? Biting your friend over pasta."
"It's my kimchi spaghetti."
"Say sorry."
"Alright. Sorry Chanyeol. I'll never do that again. Unless you will try to eat my food again on which case I'll have to-"
"Kim Jongin."
"I'm apologizing here, your highness. Yeah, so sorry Chanyeol."
"Shucks, don't be too hard on yourself. Come here!" And Chanyeol proceeded to envelope Jongin in a great bear hug.
"You can let go now." Jongin said against his friend's chest. Chanyeol laughed. Jongin felt bad about biting him. He was just really really tall baby.
"Now, wasn't that nice?" Jongin looked at Kyungsoo's smirk. His princess was having fun.
"Well, I've got to go. I've got early practice tomorrow." Chanyeol said. He went to Kyungsoo's side and hugged him, too. "I miss you guys. I don't get to hang out with you so much anymore. What with training and all..."
"Don't worry about it. Just drop by if you have time." Kyungsoo squeezed the tall guy's arm.
"Sure. And next time I'll get to eat your pasta. Jongin said your spaghetti makes him swoon like a girl-"
"Goodbye, Chanyeol." Jongin interrupted his friend. And he never said swoon. He said faint, he was sure he did.
"Yeah, yeah. See you guys!" Chanyeol left with a wave and a big grin.
Jongin looked at Kyungsoo who was near the sink.
They were alone.
Finally.
Yes.
Kyungsoo knows that look in Jongin's eyes. It's saying that he's got him cornered and he can't escape this time. He sighed. I guess they would really have that conversation today.
"Relax, princess. I'm not gonna eat you... yet." Jongin said with a mischievous grin.
"Stop it, Jongin." Kyungsoo said seriously.
"Alright. I'm sorry." Jongin came closer until they were standing face to face. "It's just... Can't you tell? I'm nervous."
Kyungsoo looked up at Jongin's face. The always confident Jongin did look nervous. "Why?"
"Because I know that whatever happens here will change everything between us."
"Then let's not do this."
"You know we have to. Last night..."
"Was a mistake. I was a tease. It just happened. I just wanted to get back at you for teasing me that afternoon." Kyungsoo explained.
"It wasn't a mistake and you know it. I was not alone in that kiss. You felt something, too."
"Yes! I felt embarrassed." Kyungsoo said harshly, looking at his feet. "I felt gauche."
"Don't. Please don't say that. You don't mean that." Jongin tipped his chin up so he was forced to look at him. "It was not a mistake. It was a dream come true."
"You don't know what you're saying." Kyungsoo wanted Jongin to understand. He can't do this. He just can't.
"Kyungsoo-ah, don't you know? When I touch you for a minute, even for a second, I feel my heartbeat triple. When we share a moment, I couldn't ask for more. When I look into your eyes I feel as if my life couldn't be better. What I'm trying to say is... "
Lalalalalala... Lalalalalala
Kyungsoo was jarred by the ringing of his phone in his pocket. Sehunnie. He took his cellphone out when Jongin snatched it from his hand and answered the call.
"No, you can't he's busy." Jongin paused. "Okay. I'll tell him."
Jongin ended the call and held out his phone to him. "Sehun says he gives up."
Kyungsoo was happy for his friend. He would at least get his happy ending with Luhan. Kyungsoo replaced the phone in his pocket, looking anywhere but at Jongin.
"Princess, look at me." Jongin said. "I'm not on the floor. I'm here."
He wanted to laugh at the taller boy's exasperated tone but he couldn't. He finally looked at Jongin's eyes. It was time he understood.
"Jongin, please don't tell me you love me. Because I can't ever fall in love. I don't have it in me." He can see he hurt the younger boy and that hurt him, too.
"How would you know if you never even tried? So let's do this, your highness. Let's try." Jongin came closer.
"I told you I can't. You're special to me. More than I've ever imagined. But I will only hurt you."
"Why won't you try?" Jongin asked sadly.
"Because everyone I've ever loved left me. I gave them all the love I can ever give that I feel there's nothing left. But they all took it with them and never came back." Kyungsoo thought about his mother and how many times he cried for her in his sleep. But she never did come back. He also thought of his so called friends who disappeared when he was no longer the popular protege. He's already so broken and he didn't want to give Jongin his defective heart. He deserved better.
"I'm still here, princess. I never left." Jongin took Kyungsoo's hand and held it against his chest. "I won't leave you."
"Jongin-ah. Don't you get it? I can never love you more than this. I love you and Chanyeol and the others. You're all my friends. But that's all I'm capable of."
"So you're saying that you love me just like the others."
"Yes." Kyungsoo nodded.
"So it's okay if I fall for someone else? It's okay if you see me kiss another?" Jongin challenged.
Kyungsoo saw an image of Jongin holding hands with another person. Jongin whispering sweet things and kissing lips that were not his. The image made him want to cry.
"I can see it. It's not okay. Give me a chance. Give us a chance." Jongin pleaded. "I know I'm botching this up and I'm not any good at this. But you see, this is the first time I fell in love."
"We hardly ever speak without insulting each other. How can you possibly love me?" Kyungsoo asked. He was afraid that Jongin was actually making him change his mind.
"I first saw you at the hospital, crying on your mother's bed. I thought I’ve never seen such loneliness before. Then you looked at me with those eyes and all I knew was I never wanted to see you cry anymore. Then it just happened. We met and I realized that your eyes were different whenever we argue. I saw all kinds of emotion there but never sadness. So I kept it up."
Kyungsoo couldn't move as Jongin cupped his face with his free hand. "Trust me, princess. I'm not asking you to love me forever. I'm just asking you to try. Please."
"You'll regret this." Kyungsoo said but he was already wrapping his arms around Jongin and burying his face against the taller boy's neck.
"Does this mean yes?" Jongin said with a laugh as he embraced the shorter guy closer to him.
"You're still asking?" Kyungsoo whispered.
"So we can make out now?" Jongin nuzzled Kyungsoo's ear. He was rewarded with a pull on his own ear. "Ouch?"
"I love you." The younger boy said after awhile.
"I-" Kyungsoo tried to say it but it was lodged somewhere between his heart and his lips.
"It's okay. I'll wait." He sounded disappointed but Jongin just held Kyungsoo tighter.
Kyungsoo didn't want to hear Jongin like that so he raised himself on his toes and told him how he felt through a kiss.
"That definitely means we can make out now." Jongin teased.
"You wish."
Eleven - Trial and Error
Just a few more minutes.
Jongin paced outside Kyungsoo's room. To say he was excited was probably an understatement. He woke up especially early for this. Earlier even than Kyungsoo and that never happens.
He was already dressing for school when he heard Kyungsoo go to the bathroom. He came out just in time to see the older boy disappear into his room to dress. He stood guard outside Kyungsoo's door and has been pacing there since then.
Finally, Jongin thought as he heard the door open. He turned to see Kyungsoo standing by the doorway looking a little surprised. He was wearing the same old clothes-checkered shirt on top of a white tee and jeans- but somehow he looked different to Jongin. He looked kinda special. Jongin went to stand in front of Kyungsoo.
"Uh, you're creeping me out." The older boy said with rounded eyes.
"Good morning, princess." Jongin leaned down to kiss him on a cheek. He saw Kyungsoo's face redden. That was why he woke up early, just for this.
"Seriously creeping me out." Kyungsoo said but with a small smile this time.
"Let's have breakfast." Jongin patted the shorter boy's head. Kyungsoo shot him a disbelieving look.
"You cooked breakfast?"
"No. Why would you think that?"
"You just said-"
"Let's. Have. Breakfast. I didn't say anything about cooking. And seriously, would you want me to cook for you?" Jongin asked with a smirk.
"I'd rather kill me myself than let your food do me in."
"Exactly."
"For a second there I thought..." Kyungsoo trailed off.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Tsk tsk, princess, every relationship needs honesty to survive."
"Well, I thought that if you did cook, I would really have to eat it."
Jongin froze, shocked at what Kyungsoo said. "You'd do that?"
"It wasn't a nice thought, but yes, I would've. You asked me to try, right?" Kyungsoo said, smiling.
Jongin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Kyungsoo saying he would eat food that Jongin prepared was equal to accepting major commitment. To him, it was up there with declarations of love and forever. He didn't know what to say.
Jongin walked dazedly towards the kitchen but Kyungsoo stayed him with a hand on his arm.
"Jongin-ah? Good morning to you, too." Kyungsoo raised on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. The smaller guy then proceeded on his way to the kitchen leaving Jongin shocked for the second time in two minutes.
"So how is it?" Jongin asked Kyungsoo. They were at the cafeteria sitting opposite each other, having lunch. He'll probably be late for his next class as this place was far from his department, but hey, one hour with Kyungsoo was worth it.
"The food?" Kyungsoo looked up from his plate.
"No. Being with me. I mean being together." Jongin asked leaning on the table.
Kyungsoo looked at his watch and said, "We've just been going out for technically thirteen hours, around six of which we were asleep. Don't you think it's kind of early to ask me that?"
"Princess-" He started to say but he saw Kyungsoo's attention was caught by something behind him. And he has a feeling what, or should he say who, it was.
"Jongin-ah! Kyungsoo-hyung!" Sehun greeted happily. Attached to his side was a smiling, albeit a little embarrassed, Luhan.
"Hey, guys." The pretty boy said.
Jongin and Kyungsoo looked pointedly at the couple's linked hands.
"Well, yes. It's official. Luhan and Me. Me and Luhan." Sehun smiled down at his boyfriend.
Jongin rolled his eyes at the picture the two was making. Only thing you needed were heart shaped bubbles around them and you've got yourself a valentine's card.
"I'm glad." Kyungsoo said with a smile.
"Thanks, Kyungsoo." Luhan said as he sat beside him. "I missed hanging around with you."
"I'm sorry about last time. I was just concerned about Sehun." Kyungsoo squeezed Luhan's hand.
"I know and I'm happy that you are. He's such a baby sometimes." Luhan said throwing an affectionate look at Sehun who having some sort of secret man to man talk with Jongin. "But can I ask? Since you're here with Jongin, are you..?"
Kyungsoo reddened but nodded.
"Ha! That's great! Since when?"
"Um, last night."
"Really? That was some lucky night then."
Kyungsoo didn't know what else to say. He feels a little uncomfortable discussing their relationship since it's still new and strange to him.
Luhan understanding Kyungsoo's silence leaned close to him and whispered. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"From the rabid look on their eyes, I say it's food. With them, it's always food."
It was food, but not quite.
"You're together." Sehun whispered to Jongin. “Admit it. You're going out with Kyungsoo-hyung."
"What? Why'd you think that?" Jongin asked just as quietly. He wanted to laugh at the younger guy. He's not sure why Sehun was whispering though. It wasn't as if he was hiding that they were dating.
"Man, only true love will make you go to lunch here. This cafeteria's almost 15 mins away from our department." Sehun said matter of factly. "And you're still here talking with me when we both know doing so will make us both late for next class."
"Then why are you still here?"
"Dumb question, man." Sehun said. "So?"
"Maybe, I just went here for this burger." Jongin said with a shrug. Sehun snorted.
"As much as I know how food makes our world go round, you wouldn't be here for that. There's a perfectly close cafeteria by our building serving the same greasy glob of goodness."
"Okay, I'm caught. Kyungsoo asked me, begged me even, to go out with him and I said yes." Jongin said with a confident smirk.
"And in what alternate universe did he do it?" Another snort from the maknae. Sehun straightened in his seat and addressed Kyungsoo. "Hey, hyung. Jongin said that-"
But Jongin clamped his hand over Sehun's mouth before he can continue.
"Jongin said what?" Kyungsoo asked looking at them as if they were demented.
"Nothing, I said food here sucks."
Kyungsoo raised a brow and turned to speak to Luhan. "I told you it was food."
Luhan laughed. He patted Sehun's hand and proceeded to hold it, their fingers entwined across the table. Jongin was distracted by the sight and completely forgot that he still has his hand over Sehun's mouth.
"Maybe you can let go of Sehun now." Kyungsoo said.
Jongin let go and Sehun proceeded to lean closer to Luhan. He and Kyungsoo watched as the two became lost in their own world staring at each other’s eyes and holding hands. Jongin didn't want to look as lovesick as Sehun does but maybe it does feel nice to do that. He turned his gaze to Kyungsoo's hand on the table. It was small, the nails were short and it looks like it will fit nicely in his.
As if in its own accord, his right hand started reaching out slowly for Kyungsoo's. His gaze was intent on the hand resting near the older boy's plate. But when the tips of his fingers touched Kyungsoo's hand the said hand retreated. Jongin looked up to find Kyungsoo looking at him questioningly, looking a little flustered.
Jongin went on to grab Kyungsoo's fork to excuse his wandering hand and proceeded to get food from the plate with it. He quickly shoves the food in his mouth to hide whatever embarrassment he's feeling with his failed attempt at holding hands. Predictably, he choked on the meat. Good thing Kyungsoo gave him his drink.
"I thought the food here sucks." Kyungsoo said.
"Uh, I thought yours was better." Jongin said with a shrug, his eyes watering from coughing.
"I understand but there's no need to kill yourself for it." Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at him. Then he leaned across the table and surprised Jongin with wiping the excess water clinging from the corner of his lips with his thumb. Surprising still was when the said thumb drifted towards his lower lip as if in a caress. Jongin was hypnotized by the way Kyungsoo was looking at his mouth and by the feel of Kyungsoo's touch. Now if he would only come closer...
"You sure are slow, man."
The spell was broken by Sehun's remark. He looked to see Sehun and Luhan watching them from their side of the table. Kyungsoo blushed and looked away. Jongin scowled at the little pest.
"Luhan, in consideration of our friendship, I'm giving you five seconds to get him out of here." Jongin threatened.
"Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? Stare me to death? If I was Kyungsoo-hyung I would've fallen asleep waiting for you to make your move." Sehun said with a shake of his head.
"Four, three...”
"Pfft. Luhan, let's show him how it's done." Sehun promptly cupped Luhan's face and placed a soft kiss on the startled boy’s lips. When it ended, he turned once again to Jongin and said, "Spontaneity, man, that's the key to- Ouch!"
Sehun rubbed his nose after Luhan flicked it quite hard.
"Sorry, Jongin. As much as I want you to let him have it, he's important to me." He then stood up, took Sehun's arm to drag him away. "See you later guys."
Jongin watched as Sehun slipped his arm around Luhan's waist as they walked. Luhan for all his supposed exasperation with Sehun leaned to the younger boy and placed his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. He was not sure if he'll be appalled or jealous of the public display. He returned his gaze to Kyungsoo.
"Jongin are you finished? I have to go for my next class now." The short boy said, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Yeah. Let's go."
They went outside and Jongin felt the awkwardness between them. He wants to break it before he leaves for class.
"Don't mind Sehun too much, princess."
"I think that should be my line."
"You're gonna call me princess, too?"
"No. I was actually going to tell you to don't mind him." Then a teasing glint entered Kyungsoo's eyes. "You can take your time. I promise I won't fall asleep."
"Are you saying I'm slow?" Jongin asked incredulously.
Kyungsoo just smiled another teasing smile and left him sputtering.
He knew he shouldn't have joked about Jongin being slow. He knew that his boyfriend was just being considerate of his feelings. But sometimes when Jongin looks at him a certain way, like earlier in the cafeteria, Kyungsoo wishes he'll make a move faster.
Then why don't you make a move yourself? He asked himself. But it's kind of different if he's the one getting closer. There's just so much to lose. He knows he's got to do it. It's unfair for Jongin if he does all the giving in this relationship of theirs, but it's too soon. He'll do it someday not just right now.
This morning, he didn't know what to expect but he knew he'd never been happier when he saw Jongin outside his room, smiling that sexy smile of his. Knowing that he was waiting for him made him want to be soft and romantic and all the stuff that comes with falling in love but he settled for that small kiss on the cheek instead. Because wanting and being are two different things and he needs time to cross from one to the other.
It's crazy though how he can't stop thinking about Jongin all day today. He was in school to study, not to think about how the younger boy can make him feel like a... bubble, for a lack of a better word. He feels so light that he's floating but he feels as fragile, too as if one touch can break him.
Is this really what it's all about then? The thought is really scary.
Kyungsoo pulled his blue cap lower on his head because it makes him feel safer, blocking out the rest of the world as the cap's shadow hides his face.
He entered the piano room determined to at least get some work done today. He has to finish the song in two weeks and ready to be sung three weeks after on the graduation performance. He was just about to turn on the lights when he heard someone enter the room behind him.
"Kyungsoo."
Suddenly he was grabbed from behind and was turned so he was facing Jongin who pushed him until his back was against the wall.
"I've waited all day for this." He whispered. He took off the blue cap off from Kyungsoo's head and leaned close.
"For what?"
"For this." Jongin moved to close what little distance is between them. Kyungsoo couldn't help it, he giggled.
Jongin's lips paused in their descent and Kyungsoo saw it purse. Jongin then went on to lean his head against the wall right next to the shorter boy's head.
"You know princess, when I imagined this, that wasn't exactly how I thought you'd react."
"I'm sorry." Kyungsoo giggled some more. "It's just, it's just so..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Stop laughing already." Jongin said grudgingly.
Kyungsoo feeling guilty about laughing at him shifted his head a little so he can kiss him on the cheek. "For what it's worth, I appreciated the gesture. It was so... cave-man like."
He wanted to laugh again, really, but Jongin chose that moment to place his lips against Kyungsoo's neck and whined. "You told me I was slow."
His breath hitched as he felt Jongin's lips move against him. Well, he was certainly fast now.
Jongin placed small kisses against his neck, jaw and all the way to his ear where he whispered. "You're not changing your mind about us are you? I know it's just been a day but..."
Kyungsoo wanted to melt as his non-friend-turned-boyfriend held him closer. "No. I haven't"
"Good." Jongin's lips were nearing his own. "I'm not just imagining this, right?"
"Uh, considering I can feel the light switch digging at my back, I can safely say yes, this is real." Kyungsoo joked trying to cover his nervousness. He was not afraid of Jongin, he was more afraid of himself cause he felt his heart give another piece of itself to the younger boy.
Jongin laughed and shifted Kyungsoo so his back was still against the wall sans the light switch. "Better now?"
"Yeah." Kyungsoo was waiting for Jongin to continue what he was doing but the taller guy just stared at him making him conscious again. "Uh, any minute now-"
"Your highness, sometimes I feel you just want me for my body."
"Shut up." Kyungsoo surprised both of them by pulling Jongin close and fitting their lips together. He was thinking that it was the only way to stop Jongin from talking too much and it's actually a humanitarian mission cause one day he'll get shot from the things that come out from his mouth. He was also thinking he really didn't have time for this kind of dalliance as he has lots to do. But as their kisses ran deeper, longer and sweeter he stopped thinking at all.
Twelve - The Fight
He couldn't get any happier, could he?
It's only been ten days but Jongin felt that Kyungsoo and he were making progress. Sure, they still haven't held hands and they were not as showy in public as the disgustingly cute couple currently making googly eyes with each other in their dorm's sofa. But Kyungsoo more than makes up for it when they're alone. The thing he does with his... Jongin can feel himself blush and the realization made him blush even more.
Distracting himself from his wayward thoughts, he decided to interrupt his friends cause one more cheesy love declaration from Sehun and he thinks he's gonna puke.
"Guys, there's a reason why this was called our dorm. Don't you have someplace else to do that...? Whatever you're doing?"
"It's called poetry, Jongin-ah. But you will never appreciate it since you're uncivilized."
"Poetry? I thought you were just grunting random noises. And Luhan, you appreciate this? I expected better from you." Jongin said accusingly and crossed his arms in disapproval.
Luhan laughed. "Of course, silly. When I promised to love Sehun it came with the unspoken promise to accept everything he is. Uh, quirks and all."
Sehun looked suspiciously at Luhan, sure that his boyfriend meant something by that remark. "So you're saying that you're just putting up with me?"
"No. I'm saying I love you forever." Luhan then pulled Sehun and cuddled him.
"Sheesh, I'm gonna be sick." Jongin gagged.
"Food's ready!" Kyungsoo called out from the kitchen. Sehun stood up and pulled Luhan to his feet so they can go together.
"Ah, that answers my question as to why you two are here." Jongin said.
"Kyungsoo invited us. He said he wantd to get together this weekend. Didn't he tell you?" Luhan explained.
"He told me we're doing something special, he didn't tell me that 'we' meant all of us." Jongin muttered.
Sehun and Luhan disappeared towards the kitchen and Kyungsoo came out looking around the dorm. "Chanyeol's not here yet?"
"No. Who else did you invite?" Jongin said with a pout.
"I tried to call Yixing and Joonmyeon-hyung but they already had plans."
"Lucky Yixing, then. And luckier Ahjussi." Jongin said sounding disgruntled.
"Stop sulking. Don't you want to spend time with our friends?" kyungsoo went close and chucked his chin. "You're such a kid."
Jongin's mood easily lifted with that.
"Come on, now." Kyungsoo walked towards the kitchen followed by Jongin but there was a knock on the door.
"Go ahead. Maybe it's Chanyeol. I'll just bring him there. Make sure Sehun hasn't eaten everything yet."
Jongin opened the door expecting their tall friend but it was just a mailman delivering a first class letter addressed to him. He opened it and read the content slowly.
He was chosen as the school representative to the popular talent company auditions. He remembered submitting a dance video together with Yixing and Sehun. He already forgot about it, thinking that he didn't make it. Now he didn't know if he should be happy about the news or not. If he gets accepted that will literally open doors for him. It's what every aspiring dancer dreams of. But on the other hand, the training will be in Japan and would last at least two years.
His relationship with Kyungsoo was by no means stable and he'll turn out to be another person who'll leave him behind. Decision made, Jongin crumpled the letter and threw it in the trash. Being with the short guy's a thousand times more important.
"I think a few more notes inserted here will do it. And after the lyrics, we're done." Joonmyeon said. He and Kyungsoo were in the piano room again and both are determined to finish the song today. They had to, tomorrow's the deadline.
"I officially have a headache." Kyungsoo complained. His head buried in his hands. Even wearing his thinking cap's not helping.
"I'm sorry. We could have finished this sooner but I was... busy." Joonmyeon reddened.
Kyungsoo laughed at his hyung. "I understand hyung. Stop apologizing."
"Yeah, but I feel guilty. Yixing has been dragging me everywhere and I could've said no at least a couple of times."
"Could you have said no?" Kyungsoo asked with a raised brow.
"Well, no. But I could've tried." They both laughed at that.
Returning to the task at hand, Kyungsoo read the music sheet for the millionth time. There was just something missing.
Joonmyeon noticed the frown on Kyungsoo's face. "You know, for me, your song is not really telling a story. It's actually speaking to the listener. It's reassuring and promising. But it doesn't exactly say what. Maybe that's what's missing. What exactly are you promising?"
Forever. That's what he would want. Someone to give him forever.
He remembered Jongin's words.
I never left.
I'll never leave you.
Kyungsoo grabbed a pen and wrote on the sheets. Maybe, just maybe he found the right words to the song.
Kyungsoo felt good. He felt he accomplished something great today. He was hugging his binder, excited. Inside was the finished song for his final thesis.
"Thanks, hyung. Finally done!"
"You’re welcome. It was fun to watch you pore over the lyrics. It was like you were possessed." Joonmyeon joked.
"I just wanted to write it all down cause i might lose the momentum."
Just then Yixing arrived and immediately went to Joonyeon's side. "Hey, there."
"Hey, yourself." Jooyeon answered with a smile.
"Kyungsoo-ssi. Any news about Jongin's audition?" Yixing greeted him with a nod. "Did he make it?"
"Audition?" Kyungsoo asked.
"Yeah, the one with YG. It's today. We Dance students submitted demo videos about three months ago. They just announced last week that Jongin and a couple of others made the cut for the finals."
Kyungsoo didn't know what to say. It's the first time he heard about this.
"Well, I guess he went alone. I haven't seen him all day." Kyungsoo answered.
"Oh, maybe he did. Just tell him to call me once he gets home. I want to know what happened." Yixing said.
After saying their goodbyes, Joonmyeon left with Yixing and Kyungsoo went home alone. He was still confused on why Jongin didn't tell him about the auditions. I hope he gets in.
But Kyungsoo was surprised to see the younger boy sitting on the sofa and watching TV when he arrived home.
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here." Jongin smiled and stood up to greet Kyungsoo properly with a kiss. But Kyungsoo stopped him.
"Yes, but why are you here? Right now. Don't you have the auditions to go to?"
"How did you know about that?" Jongin wore a guarded expression.
"Yixing told me. I wouldn't have known if he didn't. Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was nothing important anyway."
"Nothing important?! It's the chance to show the world how great you are!" Kyungsoo couldn't believe what he was hearing from Jongin.
"I don't want it." He said stubbornly.
Kyungsoo looked at the wall clock. "You still have time if you hurry up. Get your bag, let's go.”
"I don't want to go, princess. It's not a big deal. I don't want to train in that company anyway."
"Are you crazy? People are dying to have this chance and you'll just throw it away?" Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin's arm and tried to drag him out the door but Jongin was resisting.
"Kyungsoo-ah, I said I don't want to."
The older boy stopped pulling and turned to look at Jongin's serious expression.
"But why?" Kyungsoo asked genuinely confused. "Why won't you go?"
"Because the training is at least two years and it's not a bus ride away. It's in Japan. I don't want to go. I won't go." Jongin moved closer to Kyungsoo. "I don't want to be away from you."
Kyungsoo's mind was reeling. His heart is rejecting the image of Jongin walking away from him. But what could he do?
"Hey." Jongin held on to Kyungsoo's shoulder.
"It doesn't matter. This is important. We have to hurry up." Kyungsoo stepped backwards, dislodging Jongin's hand.
"Didn't you hear me? I told you I won't go."
"You're not going because of me. How is that even a reason?" Kyungsoo can feel his heart closing itself once more. He can't help it.
"It's reason enough for me. Let it go."
"You're letting go of this big chance for something as flimsy as that?"
Jongin looked hard at him. "It isn't flimsy."
"What isn't? This?" Kyungsoo pointed at both of them. "Don't get too attached to something that we're not even sure will work.”
"This something means more to me than that stupid audition. This is you and me. How could I not get attached?"
"Well, you shouldn't have. It's not too soon to stop, Jongin-ah."
"Stop? I can't believe you said that." Jongin was shaking his head. "How can you easily tell me to go and leave you?"
"Listen, this is your future we're talking about here. Not whatever relationship we have." All Kyungsoo could think of was that Jongin needed to go to that audition. Because thinking of anything else will hurt.
"I never did think much of where I'll be in the future but every time I would imagine it I'd see us together and that's enough for me. All I needed was your trust and I promised myself I could make it work." Jongin turned away from Kyungsoo. "Did you even once think of a future with me?"
Had he? Kyungsoo thought. But he can't remember a time that he did. Because thinking of their future or any future means making him trust too much on the present. And he's not ready yet.
"You are so afraid of getting hurt that you'd rather hurt me." Kyungsoo heard the disappointment and accusation in Jongin's voice.
"I told you you'd regret this." He whispered. He didn't want to hurt anybody especially Jongin. But his stupid heart won't listen.
"I don't, princess. I don't regret anything at all. But maybe you do." Jongin walked away and disappeared to his room.
Later that night as Kyungsoo was lying in bed, he heard the front door open and close. And he knew as he closed his eyes against the threatening tears that he may have lost not only his boyfriend but also his best non-friend.
Part I // Part II // Part III // FINAL