Here are the poems we hope to use at mynans funeral, the first because its pretty and its how we'd like to think nan is now and the second because its the kind of things my nan would say ( Read more... )

Today we have spent most of looking through draws etc for nans birth certificate and insurance, its still missing at the moment.

Today it hit me really, everything that happened yesterday suddenly seemed real. I spent most of today crying, dad shouted at me because i didnt want to ring someone, but i realise thats dads way of coping with grief, but at the time i hated him so much, i'd just lost my nan and hes shouting at me. Different people cope different ways his was was ( Read more... )

Nans very sick again, shes having bad hallucinations and keeping us up all night, by yelling - usually mums name. Last night we had a night sitter in, so we could get some sleep. It didnt really work for me cos i tossed and turned all night long, fighting to sleep. I came down a few times to get a drink or visit the toilet, and asked the night ( Read more... )

Well what can i say, i am really sorry for the break in entries, i have been up to my eyes in it. Things have been happening at home some that have been quite hard to deal with. Nan became very ill, with her ulcers, the pain was so bad she was put on morphine which basically put her in a dream world as it is derived from the opium drug. So she ( Read more... )

I haven't written in here for soooooo long, i forget and then me friend mysteryfem nags me to say summat ( Read more... )

Had an intersting weekend, met someone of off the internet, and we spent the day together. Its good to finally get to meet the perosn u have been speaking to! His name is Simon he's a great guy and i have a feeling we will be good friends :o) Spent the day walking around nottcutts, a garden centre in maidstone, They had some lovely things in ( Read more... )

Well today i decided i am going to do something with my life, a course of some kind, maybe aromatherapy massage/indian head massage ... nails, or dog grooming if i am lucky enough to find a college that does it. I will start looking in to these shortly ( Read more... )

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Today i am locked in depression. I am fed up with life, of having no job, hardly any friends and no man. My mum came in to me earlier and said to me "I am worried about you, think about what u r doing to urself sitting at home everyday and why u can't get a man, because when i am gone you'll have no one" and how true is she? So if i wasn't crying ( Read more... )