[Tougher than I thought.]

[keika_strife]

I had some rough estimate of how difficult it would be once I got back from being with Patrick, in terms of missing him and experiencing certain things, what have you. I severely underestimated it. I thought at some point that all I've ever known was distance, so returning to distance would not be a problem for me. What I didn't consider, at least

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[keika_strife]

The entire first week, Sunday included, I cried at least once each day. The worst time is at night, because there's nothing there for me to hold or smell or snuggle with. It's just me in what has become a rather small and growingly uncomfortable twin-sized bed, pushing aside largely insufficient stuffed animals, trying with everything in me not to think about it. Yesterday was the first day since I've been home that I didn't cry, actually, but everything else has suffered a bit

[keika_strife]

Ahhh whoops, that was a lot longer than I wanted it to be. >_O I guess I needed to vent more than I thought.