Dear Keika:
If you could stop systematically ruining your life out of guilt for not having a life (see: cycles of depression) that would be fucking fantastic. Seriously I am tired of trying to clean up after you. I'm exhausted. Stop fucking everything up.

-Keika

Had a dream last night that JD came to my wedding (where I was marrying some asian girl apparently) and crashed it last minute because he wanted to be with me ( Read more... )

It is the most alienating thing, to pretend not to know that you are utterly disposable.

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This was a letter I sent to my friend Micha. I don't really want to go into details, even he didn't get all of them, but I've been heaving through some heavy shit the past few weeks, and I was definitely losing that fight. Micha sent me a picture today of a little shore in Koblenz, where he is right now, along with a sweet little message, as he ( Read more... )

I had some rough estimate of how difficult it would be once I got back from being with Patrick, in terms of missing him and experiencing certain things, what have you. I severely underestimated it. I thought at some point that all I've ever known was distance, so returning to distance would not be a problem for me. What I didn't consider, at least ( Read more... )

What do you call it when you risk something, while being 90% sure it will fail completely? Stupidity? I can't think of any other word for it.

95% sure it will fail. Whatever though, I just up and did it. Now we're gonna see how badly I screwed things up.

Really I'm surprised ( Read more... )

I hate what excedrin does to me. I hate migraines more, though. Feel like throwing up ( Read more... )

My mind says I must hold the lines, but panic has set in. It is not a foe with which I am unfamiliar, but it is one for which I know not which weapons to use. It's an enemy that approaches slowly, with undeniable power, and even if it is but on the horizon the earth cracks with its every pounding step. My core wants to tremble in its wake. "You've ( Read more... )