Its been awhile since my last post. A lot has happened. Not a lot to anyone else, just alot in my head. Most of it has happened in the past hour. I had a moment of clarity, but it wasn't one clear thought. Maybe you would call it a feeling......no, better yet: a way of being. As my experience wasn't clear, neither will this post. So here ( Read more... )

Just thought I'd give a little update. I work, I go to school, I work, I go to school....... thats what I do. I am still confused about what I want to do with my life and I feel like I continuously make the wrong decisions about life.....especially my love life. BUT.........at the moment, I am not freaked out. I know that most people are ( Read more... )

Does no one else see that I am a complete fuck up? I mean I don't know exactly what I want out of life or where it is my life is headed, but in general, I can tell you what it is I don't want and I don't need. Yet I keep putting myself in situations that I know aren't going to get me where I eventually want to be. I think a lot of my problems ( Read more... )

So I decided to update and I wrote so much about my life this past year what I think about myself how I kind of don't like who I am.....then my best friend called how I was writitng and turned my mood all around so I decided not to post that. Just know that I am a complex person who judges myself more than others probably ever will and sometimes I ( Read more... )

I don't know who reads this anymore but if you are reading, know that I finally said what needed to be said and now I have to learn to live with it. I finally talked to Michael. He can't give me more than what he's been giving me. I can't handle what he's giving me anymore. So thats it. I have been setting myself up for this for 8 months. I ( Read more... )

Just thought I'd give a little update about my life. Work is good. School sucks. But at least the semester is almost over. I ended up dropping my accounting class and have decided to change my major. I don't know if I mentioned that in any of my previous entries. I have been hanging out with the ppl I work with and it has been a blast. I <3 ( Read more... )

I feel like the ugly duckling.........but I don't think I'll turn into a swan.

One step forward and two steps back....one step forward.

I'm still behind but I'm better than I was one step ago.

you have to think positive to be positive.

I confronted Matt with what I have been thinking and he gave me his usual response...."whatever, Kelley." So we said our goodbyes and I told him I hope he finds what makes him happy and can hold on to it. And I hope he has a great life. Now all I have to do is let Erik know I'm not who he thinks I am and that he really doesn't want to have ( Read more... )

I'm giving up...........