The ink is sweet and alluring; headaches in a barrel curing with age like wine. One sip, one sniff and all the time in wait is forgotten
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The bitter sweet agony, like the prick of your finger on the most beautiful rose. The scent intoxicating, like a siren, leading you to ur own destruction. Gone almost as soon as it came, it temptation you with the beauty of the shortness that is in the moment. For such a thing is never meant to last, and will never be again, only a memory in the mind of its prey. Yet just as before the memory, the granule of sand implanted in the mind becomes like glass, if kilned in the minds frustration, slowly cutting deeper and deeper into fragile essence of the being. The tiny splinter, now takes form into what is now the twisted distortion of a minds once clear perception. Its prey giving into it call, its beautify song calling it relive oblivion, one more time.
I'm sorry if I was stand-offish. Telephones disagree with me, but yes, I wasn't terribly enthused to begin with. You're unwell, and like anyone in such a state of apathy, I don't have time for it. I can't relate, I don't want to relate. I'm happy with mellow, i'm happy with self-destructive mania. Happy is the word in focus here. If I do careless things it's because I feel carefree, and seek to reflect it. Not because i'm wanting someone to reach out and stop me. I apologise if I ever put up a barrier of false pretence, and appeared unhappy and in want of your advice, during those two weeks in melbourne. I enjoyed hearing you speak, it was firm, the ideas and beliefs were firm, i liked that you didn't sway. You sound far too much like clothes hanging out to dry on the line at the moment, lifeless, wet, damp, going whichever way the wind dictates. I'm not sure I can be bothered with that. Unless you want to take these feelings and express them artistically for me. I don't want to hear about how you're 'not well' and 'not
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Re: addictionknow_thy_selfJuly 30 2007, 04:31:15 UTC
you appologise without a need to be responsable for them. dont be sorry for something that is not ur doing. or if it is your doing then it is you and if you feel u need to appologise for calling things the way u see them then ur far to insecure or you think i am. there is no falseness under the black and white edges of the page. there is no pretence. you called me out and gave me a slap across the head for something deserving. i told you im selfish and sadistic, i knew that you wouldnt stad for the crap i was spilling and you did exactly what i wanted you to. if i wanted a cuddle and a hug for whatever selfrighious bullshit im spewing then i wouldnt go to you. id find some insecure needy chick and use them for all there worth. you know as well as i do, we both know how to play the game, and do so to benifit ourselves, nothing more. im not going to tell you what to do, not because ur i think ur doing the right or wrong thing, but ur a big girl and u can decide for urself and deal with the consiquences. i dont try to hold people up, if
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