dread

[kellycupples]

As I'm realizing some of my different approaches to "ministry" and even deeper to the reasons of how I approach ministry (theology), I get this dread that maybe I'm stepping outside of God's boundaries. That I'm going too far this time. That I've lost my way. That God is really pissed at me for being sooo flaky (maybe) as I approach the lives he

Comments

[sarahswan]

I feel that way too! A lot! You're so cryptic though...any thoughts on how to remedy the situation? Or even on how to recognize if in fact we are "out of step"?

[kellycupples]

Sarah...way beyond this whole struggle thing going on in my gut, you have no idea how meaningful it is to me to still be in touch with you and yours. Thank you sooo much.
As for the struggle...no, no real great thoughts on remedies. As a matter of fact, I don't know that I want to remedy it, just ride it.
I gain a lot from your dad in these discussions. Did you read his reply? I had coffee with him a couple weeks ago and we talked about redemption. I spent time thinking about Boaz as the kinsman-redeemer whose responsibility it was to do his best to bring wholeness out of brokenness. There's a mercy/truth mix there that just seems to keep life lined up to the Redeemer. I'll do it differently, but I'll do it. In that, I sense that I'm staying the most in step. Make any sense?
Kelly

[la_dolcezza]

I remember reading "A New Kind of Christian" by Brian McClaren. It really scared me toward the end because it called into question all my learned methodology. I thought that if I went down that road I wouldn't know if I was being led astray. I still wonder, especially because I'm hanging out with the Presbyts. The fact that they annoy me on a regular basis gives me comfort that I haven't sold out on the "solid truth" of scripture.

I spend a lot of time second guessing myself these days. It was so easy to be absolutely right when I was younger. Now I tend to pause before jumping on the dog pile of the current "Christian fad." I know this makes me look cynical and I suppose I am but I couldn't go back to what I was if I tried.

I still hear from God. I think that's a good sign.

[kellycupples]

I sometimes wonder if such books as McClaren's and Blue Like Jazz aren't written with the idea of pushing the popularized boundaries a bit. I wish I could see 20 years from now and look at what the "evangelical" church culture will look like. Could I lead a congregation into that?
John, I really appreciated our discussion concerning redemption when we met. I read Boaz as kinsman-redeemer, one obligated to at least try to bring wholeness to brokenness. I think about David; when God made the son of his adultery/murder the bloodline of Jesus. Sometimes His redeeming scares me, it challenges me, it comforts me. It helps me know when I'm on track.