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[kels_ho]

I stopped looking for my bible a couple minutes ago. It's 1am...I left a friends birthday party and walked a little in the rain. I tried to dance but I was too sad. If there is one thing that I'm tired of it's being sad. I've been through a lot of heartache in my life but these past few months seem to take the cake over anything bad that has ever

Comments

[___psychedelia]

This probably doesn't mean very much but I do read your journal and I think the way you have changed and the path you're now following is an inspiration.
Fear gets the best of all of us every so often and I'm positive you can be bold and take the opportunities as they come.

[kels_ho]

Thanks so much!

[juniorlifesaver]

Four years ago, I was a "kitchie" (kitchen girl) at this Christian sports camp, Kanakuk (www.kanakuk.com). I spent every waking moment from 6 a.m. until 10 p.m. serving food, washing dishes, mopping floors, etc, etc. There was no time for me to do the things that I had defined myself by - watching movies, reading books, talking to my friends from back home, listening to music (THEY BANNED MUSIC!), even talking to my family. I was just some empty cell serving biscuits and gravy from behind a counter every day. About three weeks in, I had a nervous breakdown because even though I was a Christian, God had stripped me of everything that I thought I was. And once I got all the tears out and my pride had taken a thorough beating, I realized that He had emptied me to start afresh. He was taking away everything that I held dear so that He could fill me up again. Does that make any sense? What you just described reminded me of that. It was scary, but it was one of the greatest times of growth that I've ever experienced in my life. That might

[kels_ho]

I'm so glad you told me that. Because it's something I already understand and know but need re-assurance that it will happen. I know I wasn't just pushed into change because I would be left here a blank slate. I know God has taken all that from me for his purposes and what I think is that there very well may be a lot more I'm holding onto that God has asked to have. I feel once I let these things go everything will be easier and the change God has for me will feel more complete and easier to grasp.

But thank you sincerely for your story. I loved it.

[juniorlifesaver]

Thankee. Also, your girlfriend is a total cutie. But you probs already knew that.

[kels_ho]

She's a cutie with a big bootie.

[kels_ho]

The only way is up.

[sarahshiny]

Jeremiah 29:11