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gREETZi
i'M OKAY. hOW ARE YOU? -
Goodness Not Greatness
Who am I? 33 and alone. Absolutely friendless in the city I've resided for 9 months. I dated a girl from Italy whom lived the next city. I spent countless weekends traveling to see her while she was here. Hours were pissed away like Bunn auto-drips spill grinds. Now an figurative and literal ocean separates us and all the bitter winds its way to ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Here is the real truth, and it's been so hard to say while you were here ( Read more... ) -
Elaine and the Chancellor: A Love Story in Three Acts - I: Blitzkrieg
I occasionally do work for an octogenarian woman named Elaine. She seems reclusive and lives alone but for a decrepit bloodhound named Chance (or “Chancellor” as he likes to be called) who, like his name suggests, must surely be the exact counterpoint in stature and wretchedness to his mistress. From the threshold of the foyer, one's olfaction is ( Read more... ) -
Men Are from Venus, Women Are from Mars
I believe John Gray had it backwards: Men Are from Venus, Women Are from Mars ( Read more... ) -
The dishes are in the sink, and the water's getting cold.
I thought it was an insect, so I gave it a poke to test if it was alive. It didn't respond, so I resolved it was merely debris ( Read more... ) -
American Dream
They have shopping carts for children at markets with tall, white plastic flags that proudly advertise: "Customer In Training ( Read more... ) -
G-minus 9 and Counting...
I'm all out of turd polish. How did the bar ever get so low? Somebody call James Cameron. He doesn't do what he does for himself; he does what he does because he is himself. The undergraduate of today is nothing more than a glorified, overage high schooler. I can prove this: I'm nearly 31 ( Read more... ) -
Sense Memory
Method acting teaches a technique called "Sense Memory". This technique refers to the recall of sensations surrounding emotional events. I believe I have found the memory that I can use to consistently achieve this ( Read more... ) -
Subjection
I worry that when I tell people I love them, they feel it is unflattering to be loved by a reject. I am also reminded, however, that the way others perceive me is impossibly different than how I perceive myself.