this is my first entry i have posted in a year and two months ( Read more... )

i haven't written in quite a while. i've been working ALOT. more than i should probably. but i had yesterday and today off so...i'm chillin. yayyy ( Read more... )

i feel so nervous all the time. i dont know WHAT my issue is.

i'm going to see the yankees in baltimore with my dad and 2 brothers for 3 days. it'll be sweet. so i won't be around. feel free to call or text me if you wish :)

it's true. idk what to do.

so i guess no one gets it.

maybe i don't get it either?

or maybe i just see something that no one else does...

whatever the case may be, something will have to fall into place soon.

i can't do this anymore.

so i feel like i'm getting to the point in my life where i'm letting my friends make decisions for me.

i love my friends, each and every one of them.

but i'm trying to live my life as best as i can. i'm trying not to have any regrets, i'm taking chances, and i'm doing things i want to do ( Read more... )

i was looking through people's LJ's that are my friends that i didn't know of. and i came across one who's "banner" thing said "You can't help who you love, you're not supposed to."

hmm. interesting. seems as though thats my life.

i cannot help it.

from now on, all i ask for is honesty. in everything in my life.

i want whatever i do to be okay with anyone and everyone. but i know that i can't have everything.

i just want to make my own decisions, and keep everything i've had for a long time.

please...no more twists and turns. just be.

idk what is going on anymore.

take it day by day. live as i can.

what else can i do?

my days are not the same.

i feel empty.

idk why something that's supposed to make me so much stronger has made me the weakest i've ever been.

i just want this to be over and done with. with some kind of outcome making me happy.

that's all.

so...life is not treating me too well ( Read more... )