I don't know if what I'm feeling is real. I've been really depressed the past couple weeks more so this last week because of a bad phone call with my parents on Easter, so my self-esteem is basically non-existent. I've always had kind of a sixth sense when it comes to my man being in danger of straying. There is a girl at a local convenience ( Read more... )

I'm starting to think that live journal is for teenage me. I feel like I'm trying to reclaim something lost in my youth every time I get one here but I want to make myself update this every once in a while because I forget so easily how I feel at certain times ( Read more... )

I'm in my new place. I love it. Its a bitch to heat and I'm nervous about my first gas bill but during the summer I doubt I'll have much to pay out for electric or gas ( Read more... )

Being homeless is losing its novelty. At least until I get that antsy run-away feeling. Its been nagging me lately and I think its affecting how I act towards Jason. I feel bad for... but then I usually feel bad for those in my web ( Read more... )

At times I think should I discover that I am really a robot... I wouldn't be too surprised.

At Jason's until I go back to work tomorrow ( Read more... )

He calms me ( Read more... )

I have no reason, no reason whatsoever other than in condemnation for other's deeds.  Even knowing this, knowing the logic of how difficult or anything really.  My ability to trust is so shaken.  Odd that I didn't have this feeling of absolute fear (fear yes, but to this degree, no)  with any dom but then that was physical trust, this is emotional ( Read more... )

I got bored today and started cruising around on myspace looking up old friends, old enemies, the boy I used to have a crush on who I still somehow find dreamy in that way that takes you back to a time in your life when everything was somehow so much simpler but so much harder as well.  Maybe it's my impending trip back home or my new honey taking ( Read more... )

There is that moment, that stopping of the heart, when breath escapes and for just that moment you live, you breath, you exist only because of and for that one, that other, the other half.  Then breath comes back, quickly, unforgiving and with desperation on its heels because you feel that other half slip away and you cling fervently trying to ( Read more... )