i am an asshole for various reasons... i fucked up... please give me another chance... try to understand that i do not know how to express my real feelings verbally or in any normal fashion... i act... i apologize if i hurt anyone... i want to be yr friend... i want you to be my friend... i will try to be a real one... please let me know if i start ( Read more... )

this is the end of the journal... please return to a beginning with the knowledge of everything you now know... peace... *

the light shifts... i turn and am surprised to see a part of this earth i have never seen before... sumthing like amnesia... i awake to remember a scene from a dream... she will never and neither will i... i am not sad but i am not happy... i feel great... i did not know what time it was... sing to me... peace... *

i finished writing the short story ive been working on to be turned into a screenplay for a film eddie is gonna make of it... he dug it... called it "very fuckin juicy..." eric and i have hung out the past couple of days... weve been everywhere... palm springs... la... wherever we feel like goin... weve been listening to dj artistry and flowing ( Read more... )

3 places i pissed today:

behind a dumpster in palm springs
an alley in santa monica
in a cup in my room (i poured it out the window)

< fuck society fuck sobriety fuck drugs fuck friends fuck lovers fuck hate fuck love fuck you fuck me fuck fuck one moment to the next life will happen until i die im hugging you poised to stab the knife into yr back >

hanging out with morgan and ferny and sharin and even justin... thanksgiving with fernys family... thanks ferny!!! mijo!!! today is a sober day... i need to catch up on those... ive been writing great flurries of words... buck 65 a major influence on my poetry lately... much thinking... just read about morphogenic fields and the collective ( Read more... )

xinsomniacbatx: do you have food ( Read more... )

ive been on quite a few substances lately... im not sure if i should keep that streak going or if i should give myself a break for a while... tate and his drumset came over to my garage last week and we jammed on "hava nagila" which was pretty interesting... we had a drum battle with my playing the bongos and him on his kit... it was nice... friday ( Read more... )

listen... i have talked to eddie finally and we are now working on a major short film and sum other smaller ones that will be on the waiting list for the sundance film festival... he has 5 months to complete them... he has an excellent chance of making it into sundance... i am going to be working on sum short stories that he will convert to ( Read more... )