So I'm sitting in my room listening to Buried Alive when Scott Vogel calls me up.

Bad mood officially over.

Welcome to your new home, here's your bed, you'll sleep alone. Getting everything you wanted. Getting everything you wanted and some.

Crushes still suuuuuuck. Dudes need to stop being hot. That's all I got to say.

Things that rule:

Salads, getting old rolls of film developed, having the weekend off, First Step by Jawbreaker, the new Die Hard, my cat, bad TV, new tattoos, $4 sweaters, really cute dudes.

Things that suck:

Crushes that can't/won't amount to anything, still missing everyone, psychotic girlfriends, folding shirts, ridiculously cold weather.

You tell me that I make no difference. At least I'm fucking trying.

What the fuck have you done?

Tonight ruled. Awesome fucking TV, pizza, cookie milkshakes, massages, BFFs, coming home to Megatron.... Who needs a boyfriend when things can be this sweet? For serious, I think I can stick to this "never dating again" thing ( Read more... )

Today at work, I was goofing off with my buddy Cheryl, who is a 42 year old single mother of two and devout Christian. She is fucking awesome. We had a conversation about testicle size, and I taught her the phrases "meat wallet" and "hot beef injection." She is going to marry my dad and be my new mom.

Fake chicken fajitas are pretty much the raddest thing ever.

Emo what?

It's all fucked. So fuck it all ( Read more... )

Srsly, guys.

( Read more... )

On DVD March 13th: Topless Tapioca Wrestling. Featuring the lovely Darian Caine. Someone buy this for me PLEASE.

....no homo.