i'm shaving my head tomorrow

i want to be queen of the world...and own pretty shinny things

GUY: its been a rough day. i got up this morning put a shirt on and a button fell off. i picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. i'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

why did the chicken cross the road?

JOHNNY COCHRAN: because the road was black and the chicken was white. we must acquit.

COLONEL SANDERS: i missed one?

O.J. SIMPSON: it didn't. i was playing golf with it at the time.

CLINTON: i did not cross the road with THAT chicken. what do you mean by chicken? could you define chicken, please?

SADDAM: this was an ( Read more... )

cute...i can work with that. he'd look better with a lip ring though...minus the 9 children...heh just imagine me in a house with a white picket fence. oh god the misery. i refuse to have a normal life. MUST HAVE REBELLION. MUST HAVE REVOLUTION...so i’ll marry a hobo

'cause i'm livin crazy dreams of rock and roll and faded blue jeans...

( Read more... )

today we salute you, stressed out college student, during exam week. as you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on starbucks & aderol, you think to yourself, “am i ever going to need to know this stuff in life?” the distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary ( Read more... )

today is bob dylan's birthday... happy birthday

by the shadows of the night i go
i move away from the crowded room
that sea of shallow faces masked with warm regret
they don't know how to feel
they don't know what is lost

lost in the darkness of a land
where all the hope that's offered is
memories of being taken by the hand
and we are led into the sun
but i don't have a hold on what is real
though we can ( Read more... )

hahahahahahahaha... i'm supposivly supposed to meet my future husband in the mens toliet. the best part about it is that it didn't say "bathroom" but it said toliet. yes... i meet people in toliets. haha i heart the internet. either that or they're english? oooo english men...hot accent

ok i'm done. i have U2 stuck in my head. damn. i want a cig