[Private to Friends of Oz Peeps (ya rly Sebastian) & Other known friends of Miss CJ Emerson]What up, homefries ( Read more... )

What do measles look like?

If anyone needs an old organ, there's a guy selling them in jars for wicked cheap on the northwest side of Washington Square Park. You have to give him a buck to pull back the blanket, but it's totally worth it. I wish he was there for all my tours, it freaked the tourists out way more than the Hanging Tree ( Read more... )

The woods are pretty awesome, except I'm kind of over it now. Uh, so, there's some boy scout green living hiker hippie way to tell which direction is north, right? Because I've been out here for like four hours and I'm totally doing a Blair Witch, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get mauled by a bear or a mansquito or something.

I'm not so sure about the whole George W. and Hillary and Obama and, like, Queen Elizabeth being shapeshifting lizard aliens thing, but it would be kind of awesome if they were. Especially if they had some kind of laser death matches.

I'm going to go to Mexico and stalk the mighty Chupacabras with, like, a flaming crossbow. If anyone wants to go on a road trip, you should totally come. Especially if you have a car. Uh, or a crossbow. Or general combat experience. Does anyone know what happened to that place in the village that used to do uh, like...famous paintings on cookies ( Read more... )

( Adhered to Max's door with duct tape )

So these women in Florida are totally baking babies on tv, and then these freaky British people are giving them like a solid grand per baby. It's kind of warped, but apparently there's a big market for it. Max, we should totally try this to pay for your tuition ( Read more... )

( Private to Rita )

Comrades of fiction, prime your empty Smirnoff and Jose Cuervo bottles, because Jonny's Salvage Service will be back in town tomorrow. I haven't seen the ocean for five months, so that's a lot of back-logged nautical mail to deliver.

Collection time starts: Saturday @ 7:42AM
anticipate and participateGlass, plastic, we take it all. Caps mandatory ( Read more... )