Comments | kije: More musings on learning to have and respect healthy boundaries

kije

More musings on learning to have and respect healthy boundaries

Nov 14, 2005 10:39

Maestrodog's response to my prior posting was so thought provoking that I wanted to make a more detailed response as another post. Here it is:
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boundaries and relationships

Comments 12

maestrodog November 14 2005, 19:21:24 UTC

Something else to reflect on. I find that when you learn to enjoy moments for what they are without worrying so much about the end goal, not only is it less wearing on the souls of both you and your partner, but it also brings out the natural positive aspects of your personality that most people will find appealing ( ... )

Dancing in the moment, and rehearsal between performances kije November 14 2005, 19:58:43 UTC

I find that when I am with a partner I don't think about the future at all. I'm 100% in the moment. I just want to be swept up in the dance together ( ... )

runeshower November 14 2005, 20:00:09 UTC

I do not understand how not following up on someone's YES can possibly be "crossing their boundaries". That makes absolutely no sense.

chosing to disbelieve their answer p3aches November 15 2005, 01:55:37 UTC

If you ask someone a question and you chose to disbelieve their answer, and then you don't take the next step for whatever the next step is,its possible you just took away that persons choice.

Re: chosing to disbelieve their answer runeshower November 15 2005, 02:07:50 UTC

What about your OWN choice? Don't you get one, too?

Re: chosing to disbelieve their answer p3aches November 15 2005, 02:45:24 UTC

you absolutely have your own choice. However we make choices based on the information we have, if another person witholds information we can not make a choice based on that information. Example: a group of friends are planning to go to a movie. They consider inviting friend E whom they know doesn't care for that kind of movie. So they opt not to even ask friend E if they want to go along. In this case, friend E might have cared more about the company of the friends than the movie. Because they didn't ask friend E if they wanted to go along, friend E had no choice about enjoying the company of the friends.

Thread 8

maestrodog November 14 2005, 22:42:59 UTC

I find all your responses interesting. Some more things to think about ( ... )

p3aches November 15 2005, 02:04:02 UTC

Kije didn't say he did something after getting a yes. This is a difficult concept to put words to. If you disbelieve their yes,and dont follow up on the yes, Ie asking did the person want to go another step farther you risk taking away that persons choice, having choice taken away by unasked follow up questions is a boundry crossing.