now i'm sick! ugh..that huge cloud hanging over my head just keeps getting bigger and bigger..ha. so everyday i wake up and i think "this is the day..haha..i'm gonna be happy" haha..not so much like that..but along those lines. but as the day goes on i realize that i don't really have control over that right now. there used to be times where i ( Read more... )

this morning we got up real early and went to mass with jan, alex, and stuart. so my day was pretty much done from the start. it was a long mass for many reasons. sometimes i find it hard to see them...alex cries and i always know that jan will say something about matt and i know that stuart won't. i don't know which is worse..saying something or ( Read more... )

hmm so...today was a long..bad day. i figured yesterday was gonna be worse considering i'm going to dred the 17th of every month for the rest of my life..but honestly today was worse than yesterday. at least i went out and did something...today i just didn't care. i didn't want to leave the house..i didn't want to do anything..and i was stuck at ( Read more... )

i'm done with life and everything that's related to it. as if life..and school..and everything didn't suck bad enough now i have the worst hair cut ever. so i have to go to school that i hate already and hate it ten times more becuz i look like a 5 year old boy. so i'm done ( Read more... )

i found out today that he was wearing my shirt..jan was so glad that it was mine and not hers. i don't know how glad i am just yet.

i really am done..with all of it. i hate school...i hate my classes..i hate the courses..i hate pretty much everything. but i think what i hate the most is coming home and not seeing matt..and then remembering reality ( Read more... )

good-bye to one of the worst winter breaks ever. hello to my final semester of senior year. i guess i should be happy..but honestly i don't care. after this break i care even less, which isn't a good thing. i mean i had fun here and there..hehe..but no fun in the world could make up for the loss of matt mother fucking mesa ( Read more... )

i found my necklace...finally. it's never coming off now. i'm too afraid that i'll lose it for good ( Read more... )

today we went to church with grandma and grandpa. then we went to the franklin residence and we gave them their presents and they gave us ours..which was real cute..only andrea and i need to hang out more..cuz we need a better picture. so apparently it's christmas...who woulda thunk it ( Read more... )

my mom and i went to walgreens and i was looking for something and all the sudden i stopped to listen to the song..and it was the song that matt would always play on the guitar..so i told my mom it was matt..but by the time she listened the song was over...i guess he only felt like talking to me then..which is fine..i didn't mind..he'll talk to her ( Read more... )