Hello little cub! Is I, King Bear! Today I wake from hibernation to rule My Bear Nation! Haha! You get? Is good joke. I make it.

How you doing out there in internet? I have no heard from you! My friends! Speak at me!

ROAR!!!~

Hello, citizens. I think you may find this funny. Some goats mistake themselves to be far superior beings. I can't really blame them, as goats are such pathetic things... though quite tasty.

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Hello internet world. I am king of all bears. My name is King Bear. I am great leader of bears, but new to this computer world. Do not be mean to me. If you do that, I have to eat you. I come from Mother Russia where it has much more snow than this internet. Yes.