I feel very weird right now. I'm not sure how I should feel about something I learned last night. I feel like it sholdnt matter, but to an extent it definately does. I guess I'm really bothered by the fact that I was lied to. I don't want to think about this stuff. Now my head is becoming flooded with thoughts of what else was a lie. I feel very ( Read more... )

going to dinner with grandma and jenna today, that will be fun. hopefully my grandma will get drunk and be really funny like she was when i went out with my fam for my birthday. went up to my dads last night booked mine and jennas flights im getting excited about spending newyears in florida. after booking flights and spending a little time with my ( Read more... )

underoath is making me really happy right now. i may go get coffee with jim later, i hope it works out i would really like to just sit around and shoot the shit with him. i feel so incredibly weird right now. ive discovered i can talk myself in and out of different emotions, which is really good. i just wish i could get to the one i like and then ( Read more... )

im bored and finally have power again. i went over jennas house for a little while. she really needs to work with me if she wants us to stop having the same argument all the time. it felt really good to see her again. i got out of babysitting tomorrow, i think im going to still babysit friday for a few hours. for florida is a go for sure. im pretty ( Read more... )

so i might go do florida for new years. my dad is going to pay for it. im looking forward to it. i dont know why i am so sleepy right now, i slept forever. i think i had the best sex of my life last night. it was fucking incredible i needed a good fuck. its weird how in so many ways me and jenna do not mesh at all, yet i definitly found the person ( Read more... )

i love babysitting when the kids play among themselves and are quiet and very easy to manage. it makes me think today may not be so bad. i am not looking forward to the oldest one coming home from school, he was a fucking terror the last time i babysat. finally seen i love you man. it was not bad at all. im really not a jason segel fan, but i do ( Read more... )

yesterday wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be. jenna and i both decided that we wished things were the way they used to be when things were simple. we argued about some dumb stuff because we see a lot of things from totally different perspectives. seeing her lifted my spirits. my nuts they itch, will you scratch 'em for me? ive got a ( Read more... )

it never fails. everytime i get that feeling it sure as shit happens. the way its going down this time id rather fucking get ditched. its not like i did a bunch of work for it but i was the one making plans and they seemed to be going smoothly but i knew it wouldnt pan out the way i wanted. and what the fuck do you know its not happening the way i ( Read more... )

im stuck in this place, which isnt really so bad. i get this odd feeling of comfort and security when i come to this house, well underneath my anxiety about being here. i was talking to my step mom before they went out and it reminded me of all the heart to hearts we used to have. also reminded me of when she had cancer and everytime we talk about ( Read more... )

so i no longer have a job or a car. awesome. but on the other hand, some aspects of my life are looking up. i have a second job interview on monday. im looking forward to it. its a day shift and i feel ill enjoy it much more than my last shit job. jenna is coming over today and were going to buffalo wild wings. its going to be good times. im ( Read more... )