Kink Me! #4
Kink Me! #4 Closed to new prompts Welcome to Kink Me! Merlin #4!
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At home, Arthur has too much time to think and without the distraction of school his mind slips back, easily, to Merlin, and what things could be like if things were different. There are a few times where he's almost got himself convinced that maybe, somehow, it could work, but Uther always brings him firmly back to earth.
By Friday evening, when he and Uther have their regular weekly meal together, Arthur has made it through one almost Merlin-free week. He chews his food, disinterested, forcing each bite down.
'I need to speak to you about your future,' Uther says, looking up from his laptop. 'The business is taking a new direction, and I need you to be there to lead it, when the time comes.'
Arthur nods away while Uther drones on about business and politics. He's long known Uther's feelings on what he terms as society's moral decay but now, it seems, he might have enough money to do something about it, and Arthur is apparently very much part of the plan ( ... )
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'I lied,' Arthur says, when the door finally clicks shut. 'I'm not okay. Nothing's okay, really.'
Merlin is leaning against a desk, one ankle over the other, watching him pace around nervously through distant, uncertain eyes.
Merlin shakes his head. 'Arthur,' he says, 'If you made a mistake, I'd rather you just came out and said it. You don't need to ignore me. Anything's better than this. The last few days ...'
'It's Uther,' Arthur says, coming to a stop in front of Merlin. 'I thought he knew. About us. Merlin, you don't know what he'd do if he found out.'
Merlin glared darkly at a spot on the wall. 'I think I've got a pretty good idea,' he says. 'But Arthur,' and his voice is softer this time, 'you can't let him rule your life like this.'
'It's better this way,' Arthur says. 'It's easier for everyone.'
'So the stalking around outside my house on Sunday?' Merlin says, one eyebrow raised. 'That was things being easy for you, was it?'
'You weren't at church,' Arthur says, thinking Fuck. 'I wanted to know where you were ( ... )
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After that everything seems to slip, unremarkably, into place.
Months later, when things have changed again - irreversibly, Arthur will come to think - it will seem like the few weeks they had left were charmed, somehow ( ... )
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Sometime later - it could be minutes, or hours, for all he knows - he feels a tugging at his elbow and then a light pressure, urging him to turn. He knows who it is without looking.
Arthur forces himself to look up. He has no idea how he's ended up at the art block.
'I wanted to tell you myself,' Merlin says. 'I wanted to tell you before the others got there, but Gaius must have said something and ... you know how fast word travels here.'
'It doesn't matter,' Arthur says with a short laugh. 'I knew you weren't here forever.'
'I'm sorry,' Merlin says. 'I don't know what to say to make it better. I mean. I knew I'd be going back, and it's great news for me and Mum, but ...'
But what? Arthur thinks. He knows he doesn't mean it, really, but all he wants to do right now is push away every memory of him and Merlin and forget any of it ever happened. If this is the end, he doesn't want any long, drawn out goodbyes. He doesn't want memories to torture himself with for months - years, maybe - to come. He'd rather have nothing, than ( ... )
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'It's not your fault,' Merlin says, taking Arthur's hands in his, long fingers stroking over broad wrists. 'I handled it all wrong. I should have known Gaius couldn't keep his mouth shut. I should have said something to him.'
'Not your fault either,' Arthur whispers. He looks down at where their fingers interlock; he's never felt the passing of time, and its irreversible effects, as keenly as he does in this moment. I might never get to do this again, he thinks, and pulls Merlin closer to him ( ... )
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