well today is not the day as it was to be. perhaps, sat. perhaps, never.  cant talk to sean till its done with; might as well just turn off my phone let people think whatever it is they like to think til im good and ready to put up with them again.  too much time, but never enough as the night draws near to day. 

i just posted an entery about faylann and it didnt post. wtf? i cried, how am i supossed to do that again, not cry, but post again. i loved fayalann and i lost her entirely. i never want to lose another love like that. so what am i to do, never love? maybe that is the feeling a person has  with no  memory of them. i am tempteded to say things, but ( Read more... )

i am a ninja, i have powers of lightning and can move faster then the speed of light!

i've been crying over faylann. quite a lot. maybe i need perspective,  im hurting over the last but fuck why does this happen?

i dont really get how you could give up what little hope you (i) had. school per chance, and whatnot for a girl and then she would have no memory of you. i just dont understand. i am left where i stood, nothing wrong w/ that, but i have nothing. and i want no pity here, though i think, i know, i am evasivie and ignore questions. no one will read ( Read more... )

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well i've been up a while since my alcohol level depleted and i was jarred back to life in the daylight. i'm not sure there's even enough of it to keep me sleeping soundly every night for the rest of my life, well i guess there must be, as horrid as that sounds it's not like i'm the first to find myself an insomniac this way.
break

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was saving an email to "draft" when i found this disturbing gem i wrote an old friend a long long time ago. it was unfinished and forgotten so i don't think it made it to the boy, but here is what i found.-was i weird or what ( Read more... )

i want to die so vrrrrrry bad right now.gotreally scared today anticipating an event, and when it came it was so much more painful than i thought it would be.i hate myself.

wow. it's been some time since i've wanted to put anything of substance in here, and now that i do the fear of saying too much hits. and how will this affect my post? probebly the same way it affects my "normal" comunication. i'll just ramble on and on skirting arond any genuine statements and being so vague that to undersatand my real meaning ( Read more... )

1.) Copy this list into your LJ.
2.) Bold what is true.
3.) Leave plain what is false.
4.) Add something at the end.

( silly survey )