[Cain and Abel] -- [Bones/Kirk] -- [Sam and Kirk]

[kirktastic]

Bones and Jim left the Captain's office soon after the surprise meeting with Emma and David. From the moment the older pair left the office Bones hadn't spoken, just nodded in response to Jim's suggestion that they return to their room. They were both quiet in the turbolift, and made it inside their room before either man uttered a word

Comments

[dreadpiratekirk]

Sam's back was turned as he consulted a padd. He had been on the way to the mess when the padd started pinging with a message alert. The vaccinations were almost complete, but the lists of names seemed endless. Every few hours he would get a message with another list of names attached. Cross checking the manifest with the vaccination records, despite the miracles of computing, was proving time consuming.

Jim was there when he looked up from the padd. He smiled softly at his brother. It had been some time since they had seen one another.

[dreadpiratekirk]

"I fucked up. I fucked up a whole lot. You're my brother--I spent most of my childhood raising you. You can't fucking say that I never gave a shit about you." Sam hissed. The pain as he breathed seemed to suggest that Jim had cracked at least one of his ribs. "I didn't decide to go after him. I was there, he was there... maybe if you gave him more attention, he wouldn't have kissed me first."

[kirktastic]

Kirk didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that Bones had kissed Sam first. He didn't want to believe it was because he didn't pay enough attention to Bones did he? He let out a shaking breath, "You never came looking for me. All those years... you pissed that I'm doing well now? That why you're kissing him back?!"

[dreadpiratekirk]

"I never came looking for you because I'm a pathetic lowlife. I didn't want to fuck up your life by dragging you in to mine." Sam struggled to stand up again. His body told him to stay down, but his pride was stronger. "This should prove it."

[kirktastic]

What?! "The fuck?! How is this proving anything except that you are pathetic!?"

[dreadpiratekirk]

His thoughts were swimming in his head and it took him a moment to reorganize them so he could speak. "That's what I fucking meant. This proves what a piece of shit I am."

[kirktastic]

Well, pissed as he was, he couldn't disagree with that. "...what the fuck, Sam? You could have anything... you knew we were together. Just because you don't fucking understand what we have going doesn't mean you take advantage!"

[dreadpiratekirk]

"I didn't reciprocate because it was him or because he means something to you," Sam muttered. "From looking at you, it doesn't look like together means anything to you. You're fucking around on him. Why can't I even fucking kiss him?"

Sam winced at the pain, but was finally able to stand up straight again.

"If you want me to tell him 'no', you just have to say it."

[kirktastic]

"Tell. him. no." Kirk whispered. His eyes closed as it felt like so much of the fight drained from him. "...Why, Sam? Why Bones? ...Why..." He just didn't understand. "Fuck, don't you dare ever, ever say that being with Bones doesn't mean anything to me. He means..." Everything.

[dreadpiratekirk]

"Because," Sam said. "We get along... Talking with him--just being with him feels right."

[kirktastic]

Jim sat down hard on the edge of the bed, looking tiredly at Sam. He could already see livid bruises on Sam's skin. ..He didn't feel any better, either, just drained. "Sex is sex," The familiar phrase, "It isn't l-" Fuck, "love. Never is, never will be. It can involve that, does with Bones, but with other people, no. He knows," Doesn't understand though, "That 'bout me and always has."

[dreadpiratekirk]

"He's old fashioned. Sex isn't just sex to him."

Sam didn't dare sit on the bed, so he leaned against the wall across from where Jim sat.

"A lot of people have trouble disconnecting sex from love."

[kirktastic]

"You don't think it's something we try to deal with?" Jim snapped, "course we do. If that's the worst thing that ever comes between us? I consider us a fucking perfect couple." Far. From.

[dreadpiratekirk]

"I'm not judging you... but that's something big."

Sitting down would have felt extremely good, but Sam didn't want to appear weak.

"Is it just because he can't move beyond 'sex and love' that you're pissed? If he was like you, would you feel the same?"

[kirktastic]

"I don't know how to fucking answer that," Jim turned a dark look at his brother, "No shit its big. We're trying. I'm pissed cuz he doesn't just wanna have sex with you! He can't separate love and sex!"

[dreadpiratekirk]

"Then what about the other people you both had sex with? He was magically able to disconnect it in their case, but when it's me, it's back to normal?"