what is trust. what is the point of it. its a gamble. the risk is being hurt. seems like a game i dont wanna play. ive never been a betting man. you can bet on that. my friend asked me what i thought summer had in store for me the other day. my answer was i didnt know, but i know the answer. its a change that needs to be made. i wont make it. ( Read more... )

damn its been a while.
not much new here. been to jail and back. been clean and back and clean again. times are changing but not as fast as i might like them to. i cant stand it here.
xo
via.brian.m.

so i havent written in this for a while. not much has been new. ive been reading old entries from here today and they make me laugh. oh well nothing here is new.
xo
via.brian.m.

this is going to be a long week. i have to be ready to move by wendesday. i want to go to new york or philadelphia this weekend. however i have to move. ugh. so i guess ill just be satified with drinking while rafting and jumping off cliffs. god i hope i land on that tree. oh lord im jk. jesus is on my side and he'll save me from broken legs. i ( Read more... )

life is pretty good. every once in a while i have a day like yesterday but days like today make me realize it isnt always going to be that hard. after all when the going gets tuff, the tuff get going. right? yea sure ( Read more... )

sometimes i wonder if ill make it out of this alive. everyone i know went back. it hurts alot but scares me even more. i would honestly rather die than go back to that lifestyle ( Read more... )

i dont wanna try to be loved anymore.
i dont wanna be scared anymore. or to kill anymore.
i dont wanna kill anymore. i dont wanna be alone anymore.
i dont wanna be anything anymore.
i dont need a reason to kill myself, i need a reason not to.
and there isnt one.