why can i not see my own journal from school. efffff school.

i'm sorry,:

ashley&amanda for dealing with all my shit and complaining and my tears.
chris for drifting away from you.
andrew for upsetting you and always being jealous and going crazy over stuff that i shouldn't go crazy about.
linsey for not being around as much as i should.
frank for lying to you.
nick for leading you on.
alicia for not hanging ( Read more... )

have i lost a potential friend in all this? and gained an enemy? jeeze maaannn. my stomach's turning. maybe it's just the lack of food i've been eating. who knows. hug me

fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me.

it's not okay when i do it. but it's okay for it to happen to me. i hate this. i don't want to feel like this anymore. and i didn't even get the usual. =/ i wonder if this weekend is cancelled. shit fuck me and the mistakes i make. why does this feel like such a big deal. maybe cause i care? ohh shit.

lunch today. blah. silly frank and making fun of me. making me rethink everything. why did i go against everything i ever told myself. i hafta stop thinking about it. i don't regret it. everything will work out ( Read more... )

sleeping on the couch again. wooo ( Read more... )

hmm soooooo. the past few weeks.

andrew came over on halloween <333

and then almost every weekend after that he came over. except this week and 2 weeks ago. and last week i went to his house. hahah <333333 ( Read more... )

trying to get the boy over this weekend. and maybe even sleepover =) who knows ( Read more... )

i'm competing against 3 other girls. i'm in first place so i'm told. i'm so exhausted though. i'm tempted to give up. i can't do it. i won't. i will win.

that seems stupid doesnt it?.. grr

i feel sick. and i feel used. i can't handle this anymore. i'm going crazy. 6 fucking months have gone to waste. or so it seems right now. my face is numb. i haven't cried this much in so long. i dunno what to do. can i have a hug from someone who really cares about me? please.