i guess its true when they say you can't cure depression on your own. i've learned to live with it. i hate how i am always insecure. i wish i could just believe in myself and believe that i can have good things in my life. im sure im destine for failure.

i am truly so unhappy with my life.

sometimes i wonder if i am making the right decision.

ugh high school why are you so difficult. i am not sure why 17/18 year old boys think they are the shit. honestly you're not.

four more days.

ughh its 330 a.m. and i am awake. i decided maybe if i typed out what is fraustrating than i will fall asleep. basically soccer is getting annoying to coach. then i have a parent lying that her daughter played for practices in the summer and angela and i are so unprofessionally for approaching her daughter after our game to ask if she wanted to ( Read more... )

soo i went to the carnival the other day and i had sooo much fun! i haven't gone in years because once your 18 then you don't get a free braclet anymore, which i didn't care since i don't do carnival rides. Anyway we took brielle and we had so much fun! At first joanna and i felt bad because my dad got brielle a bracelet but she didn't want to ( Read more... )

i can't stand that i forget everything as quickly as i remember them. damn.

so today is me and joe's four year anniversary. very exciting i know. he says he has lots of things planned for todayy i wonder what they are. anywayyss i have work until 3 and then im going to run to the mall to pick up some tankss ( Read more... )

today im buying my wedding dress! im so excited. it is such a gorgeous dress, a little more money than i planned on spending for my dress but i think it is worth. its a little nerve wrecking because once i get it thats it no turning back or anything. but im happyyyyy.

yesterday joe and i went to the city. it was one of the best times that he and i ever had. we went to the christmas show and i loved it!!!!! but before and after that we really had no plans so we just walked around and that was the best. plus we met up with tina! which was great because i really do miss her a lot. p.s. joe and i have almost ( Read more... )