I feel so icky and gross... please let this feeling pass.  I've been doing so crappy... I must get back on track ( Read more... )

So I'm almost done with school - I live on the 16th only because I have to close the buildings.

I'm totally upset and frustrated with myself for the weight gain.  I went and saw Molly tonight and kept bitching about it and she was getting so frustrated with me.  I seriously lost all motivation and was telling her what my goal for the week was which ( Read more... )

Okay so last week I talked to Carolyn about Thanksgiving and today we talked about it in group (and I know I'll talk to Molly about it Wednesday even though I'm pretty much all talked out) anyway - yes Thanksgiving... not looking foward to the food.  So I came up with a plan and I emailed my mom.  I told her after we eat I am going for a walk ( Read more... )

Some of the girls I am living with are moving in tomorrow... I'm excited for the RA position but at the same time I'm freaking out!!!  I think it would be easier for me if I didn't have a roommate... than I could at least have some time for me - Like time let it go or breakdown if I need to.

I think i'm worried i will be hard to walk around with ( Read more... )

 How the hell am I an RA?  I get this email last night... and yea.  I don't know if this is going to be good or bad.  seriously.  I'm not even supposed to be going back to school this semester according to Molly, and ligorski, and Carolyn, and now Dr. Herrara.

Molly gives me simple goals every week and I always fuck them up.  I don't know why she keeps seeing me.  Maria will be back from maternity leave in a couple months but I kinda want to stay with Molly but I'd miss Maria like crazy.  I wish I could see them both.  Since insurance doesn't cover nutrition Molly said she'll talk to Renfrew about a ( Read more... )

I wish I could press a button that would make things okay...
I wish I could find this stupid switch that everyone says "one day it will turn on andeverything will clickt".  Yea... where is it?

I saw Ligorski today.  It's so weird being at the frew... everytime I go I just feel weird.  I saw Lisa.  Wednesday I saw Molly.  She's awesome - although she ( Read more... )

So Tomorrow night is my last night in IOP... I start day on Thursday which also happens to be MFG.  I am begging my mom not to come... I do not want to start off my first day back with my mom there... no offense.  I have so much to do... i'm so stressed out.  gahhhhhhhhhhhh

I've been completely on edge lately.  Things have not been going well.  I'm not a big fan of IOP.  I don't know how many days I have left.  I refuse to talk to my therapist so I need a new one.  My case manager said I really need to get on it.  The only thing stopping me is I do not want to start over AGAIN.  I'm tired of it all... i'm tired of ( Read more... )

So Renfrew has been going okay I guess.  I get really full after all the meals though so that makes it tough.

Today we had to get weighed and Maria (the nutritionist) told me I keep dropping weight and she was getting all mad that i'm still using symptoms.  She said the next place I'm going is in-patient and not IOP
Doesn't look like I'll be getting ( Read more... )