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Baby Crazy and Boyfriend Mad
So basically I'm just posting here to state that I'm mad for my boyfriend, AlexK and desperately want more confirmation that we'll have a bright shiny future BUT of course I'm much more into that sort of thing because he's my (checks my chart) 12th relationship and I'm his 3rd so he's waaaaay behind on the learning curve in knowing WHAT HE WANTS (I ( Read more... ) -
Portrait of my Grandfather
My parents just posted one of the last photos taken of my deceased grandfather. He looks so old, I guess I always saw him through the lens of my younger self. A strong, older man who loved grammar and gardening. But that photo doesn't lie. He was frail, and elderly, not just old ( Read more... ) -
Vulnerable
I burst into tears with frightening ease. At least, to me. It seems like the things that make me bawl my eyes out, the things that have me lying on the floor, on the stomach, with my cheek pressed against the cheap carpet, trying to melt into the floor while my lacrimal sacs empty themselves are silly, inconsequential, mediocre things. I don't ( Read more... ) -
New Year's Resolutions version 2012
Because I ALWAYS blog my New Year's Resolutions on my LJ, the basic idea of THIS YEAR'S MISSION TO BE A BETTER PERSON is to not be a depressive lonely shut in. College has been bad for that. And how I plan on accomplishing that is in these ways: To care more, and try harder.
To care more about:- My Appearance by getting into a hygiene and beauty ( Read more... )
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Christmas and Boyfriend
I'm posting this from my Kindle Fire! I'm super happy to have it, it's absolutely awesome and cool and handy and it's run by ANDROID. So my rebellious nature is appeased(mine is an apple household ( Read more... ) -
Trailblazer!
I consistently make the first moves in my relationship with Alexk. After a friend pointed us in the direction of each other's FB pages, I was the one who messaged him first. I was the one who asked for his number and if he wanted to do lunch after the party we were introduced at. I was the one who called first, texted first, planned the dates ( Read more... ) -
School and stuff.
I'm completely angsting about Alex in my paper-and-pen diary. The conclusion drawn is that I'm ACTUALLY angsting about school but I feel powerless about school whereas my social life is something infinitely more manageable for me because I'm like a genius at people and so I'm picking at my insecurities so I can make them big and scarier that ( Read more... ) -
An Atheist who loves Christmas more than the Christian
I'm unapologetically non-theistic, possibly even atheistic depending on your definitions. I loathe organized religion, the dogma and covenants associated with any religion or philosophy that dictates that stringent commitment to Their One True Faith is the only way to honorable and lasting fulfillment. I find it obsessively oppressive ( Read more... ) -
Worst Student Ever
This has seriously been my worst semester yet. I've skipped soooo mannnyyyy classes because my teachers don't give a fuck and neither do I, and my grades MAY be reflecting that. I'm skipping my 8AM, however, to study for 2 exams I have today that I am seriously under-prepared for. One of which is the lab practical FOR that 8AM. I NEED at least a 75 ( Read more... ) -
Being fourteen sucked, and other things I think about in a depressive fugue.
I'm 21! I have been for a couple weeks now, and I have appropriately drank until sickness so I've done my duty as birthday girl. However, birthdays make me sad. I hate getting older now and not having anything to show for it. I'm not even a semester away from graduating with my bachelors degree, because I switched majors in the eleventh hour. I'm ( Read more... )