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She's gone
and I don't think my world will ever be whole again ( Read more... ) -
For the record...
Tonight was NOT a good night to hit the chapter in "By the Shores of Silver Lake" where Jack dies. Just sayin'. -
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She wasn't lucid today. They have her on a morphine drip, and I think that's the cause of her lack of coherency, moreso than the lack of oxygen support. I got down there later than I wanted, but I actually got to sleep last night and didn't spring right out of bed this morning. Also, it was icy up by me, and letting it warm up some seemed ( Read more... ) -
Catching up - two days
There's no subtle way to put it. Yesterday the family assembled to say good bye. May I just interject that this was a truly sucky way to meet my nephew's wife for the first time ( Read more... ) -
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So, today my mother said to me "You're keeping track of all of this aren't you? I want you to - for Bruce." And now I guess I'm going to indulge in some of that "anger" part of grieving, because REALLY? His kids are grown, graduated, and gone. He's the one who owns his business, has a house in Florida, and is going to sell to his partner and ( Read more... ) -
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It wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't have Charlotte. Partly because I'm worried that she won't remember mom. But mostly because we're starting to do things together like I remember doing with mom. And now I won't be able to share that with her. We haven't read "Heidi" yet. She's only just learning to ride a bicycle. There's all the books that ( Read more... ) -
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I haven't been posting here much. Partly because I've had nothing good to talk about, but a lot of it is that it's stopped being a conversation as people have stepped away. Tonight I'm okay with that. I need someplace to talk to myself.
She kept saying "When I get home." I wonder if she was lying to me, or to herself? -
The mouths of babes...
Charlotte asked me tonight "Why are you so sad?" Not wanting to come right out and say "Because Grandma is probably dying," I said "Because I wish I could have my mommy forever."
She touched my face, said "No one can have their mommy forever," and gave me a hug. -
Meaningless progress
Yeah, I'm crappy at posting these days. Part of it is playing over on Facebook, part of it is my usual disorganization, part of it is just that most of life really does suck right now, and the options are narrowing all the time. C'est la vie ( Read more... ) -
For the record...
Christmas eve on a Saturday is the suckiest time to have a dental emergency. Sitting around waiting for it to be 8:00 so that I can call my dentist. Pretty sure that they're closed today - they're only open two Saturdays a month, and I'll bet money Christmas eve *isn't* on the list. But if I can get the person on call to call in some antibiotics ( Read more... )