[четыре]

[kol_shevik]

 [ Instead of filters, Russia has chosen the time-tested of method of "maybe if I whisper really loudly into the phone, no one will know it is me." ]

If a friend of Rus-- mine is is needing to speak to his children about proper conduct with Nice Socialist Boys, where should friend be starting? And how are you properly phrasing such things? Rus-- He

Comments

[knifehand]

It is quite simple, Brother.

[kol_shevik]

Russia was always thinking such things were very complicated with all of the body parts and sticky things.

[knifehand]

No, it just involves two people in marriage.

[kol_shevik]

It is clearly only Russia's friend who is having a problem and not Russia himself so marriage is not necessary.

[thatsnotaknife]

How forbidden it is should be a good start.

[kol_shevik]

Да, but Russia is not sure how to bring up exactly what knots he will tie in the fingers of any citizen who is breathing heavily in the wrong direction.

[thatsnotaknife]

Just sit her down and let her know, "Sweetie, any bloke ever looks at ya or touches ya or says they wanna look at ya and touch ya- I'll twist his head off his shoulders and shove it up his arse."

Easy.

[kol_shevik]

Is sounding very easy until Russia is getting to bit where she is kicking him in shins.

[silno_pyanstvo]

Roshia can explain to children instead.

[kol_shevik]

Is important job of Motherland and Russia will do it himself.

[silno_pyanstvo]

Roshia is also Motherland. And more of Motherland than Braginski.

[kol_shevik]

Russia is more Motherland than Roshia could ever be! Is good mother.

[motheringnation]

...brother?

[Oh...dear..]

Do I have to have talk again with brother about such things?

[Because she clearly gave him "the talk" at one point in his life. A stammering, blushing, nervous version of the talk.]

[kol_shevik]

[AWFUL, AWKWARD MEMORIES]

Is not Russia! Is Russia's friend!

[motheringnation]

["And when a country loves another country very much...no brother not like sister. ...sister come out from under bed, can hear you breathing."]

Should I be talking to "Russia's friend" then?

[kol_shevik]

Is fine. Russia's friend does not need to speak about such things.

Has decided to build fence out of skulls instead.

[snapshot_brat]

I already know about all that stuff.

[kol_shevik]

. . . Should be forgetting about it again.

[snapshot_brat]

...If you don't know, I can tell you.

[kol_shevik]

Is important information to keep only to self.