new journal.

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add me.

comment to be added.

with you, it's all. & then it's nothing to me. just to catch that glimpse of forever, &then lose it between insecurities. a broken heart. &i think you have come unprepared...

if i handed you a bottle of glue
you'd probably just look at me &laugh.

( Read more... )

how can i ask your opinion of me? i don't have a clue as who this girl is myself! i look into the mirror &see a fucking head case. i don't know what i want. i don't know where i am going. i'm on a destined path for destruction. irregularities all around ( Read more... )

i think i get close...
but then i just feel like a little kid
that's too scared to go into the deep end of the pool

you keep saying you're going to go.
deep down, you really want to do it.
you see that all your friends can do it..
you try to do it, &back out.
you're too scared.
it's right infront of you!
you get so close
so finally, someone pushes you..
& ( Read more... )

"i'm so scared of you...you're so stong...i'm so scared of you..you're beautiful...i'm so scared of you"

how can i take that? what's the right way... i didn't ever try to intentionally hurt you... &i did. before i even let myself get close, in anyway possible. i have to do some damage.

protect me from what i want

i didn't even get anything out of it ( Read more... )

i don't know what i need. i wonder if, i am one of those people who can never truely be happy? that's all i've been wanting for a long time now.

i'm so good at fucking things up... that, &being a stupid girl.

this apartment complex, the thick summer air, your eyes.

it's killing me.
you're fucking killing me here.
dying slowly.
slowly my insides are starting to rot.
i'd never look at you again if i knew
i could go a day without shaking.
blood's been bled.
back's been stabbed.
tears have been shed.
heart's been broken.

what's next on your list?

( look what i did )

i want someone who makes me feel real. who makes me feel alive. someone who i can just sit with and talk all my crazy nonsense that doesn't make any sense with. someone who'll just listen when i want to talk, who'll talk when i just want to sit and listen. someone who doesn't think i am crazy, but is crazy with me. someone who doesn't ignore me or ( Read more... )