Votergasm!…

[koolaidhangover]

Alright, here’s the deal. Feeling all patriotic and opportunistic, I rushed into pledging for this cause. I’m officially pledged to be an “American Hero.” This basically amounts to the following:

-Pledging to vote on election day, then have sex on election night with a voter. Sex must be consensual, legal, and generous. And hot.

-I’m not allowed

Comments

[chasewaterhouse]

"I’m not allowed to have sex with non-voters for 4 years."

This would be the no-go.

[koolaidhangover]

Roger that. I totally missed the fine print on that one. Luckily, I've figured out a way around it. Oh yeah!

[aucastle]

If I knew a voter I wanted to have sex with [and who wanted to have sex with me], I might consider it. Without that, I guess I'll just have to convince people to vote next time around by holding non-voters up to public ridicule for the next four years.

[koolaidhangover]

See, that's the whole reason I wanted to have a Votergasm party. That way I would dupe, errrr...entice lots of easily influenced girls to turn my house into Rome for a night, and be doing it for a good reason.

Who the hell am I kidding? Kids these days are too selfish to vote anyways. I'll be holding a sign on South Military Drive, "I bang for ballots!" I just hope I don't get shot.

Uh-oh.

[aucastle]

Wait a tick. "Easily influenced girls?" Please tell me that part of this plan isn't to try and convince these poor lost souls to vote for Bill O'Reilly.

Re: Uh-oh.

[koolaidhangover]

No way!!! If they vote from O'Reilly, it's because they believe in a free-er, strong-er, and balanced-er America.

From now on, anything I say should be regarded as a heavy metaphor and not taken as a ploy to trick anyone.

Voters

[rabababa]

If you find someone who did not vote, just get them registered. You don't have to wait 4 years. If they vote next year, you can have sex with them because then they are voters!

Re: Voters

[koolaidhangover]

I forgot to mention that they have to vote in the 2004 election. However, being that there is no paper trail for this year's elections, anyone can claim that they voted. I really have no way of knowing who voted and who didn't. ;)

But I get the feeling you've had experience finding loop-holes hahaha.