After having to be pretty much immobile for over a month my muscles forgot that they are there to do work, sometimes strenuous work. I went out dancing (yes, very prematurely) and only danced for 10 minutes before my leg protested. The following day my muscles were sore, from just 10 minutes of dancing ( Read more... )

I really have to get back to my hermitage. The last CL endeavor was more than just the usual disappointment. I'm still hung up on jock-strap and dolphin, so it's harder to meet someone as my feelings for those two eclipse the mild attraction I am left to feel. Polarity has turned out to be a super psycho, however, at this point I am not 100% ( Read more... )

What on earth? She is crazy!!!! I'm not even referring to the bipolar. Just her ideas about relationships and physical intimacy are ( Read more... )

I was doing so great in my hermitage phase. It was peaceful and that pesky need for an emotional connection was gone. However dolphin had to pop her dolphin head into my life, for one glorious day that I felt so elated, and totally ruined everything! She does this, contacts me out of the blue, we have a great time and then, nothing, for a while, so ( Read more... )

So glad the depression has lifted. It has lasted so long I began to feel it was my permanent state of being. Though Winter blues are a norm, this year it felt so paralyzing ( Read more... )

Was hoping that when Bro visited I'd feel more human and more connected, instead I just felt as alien around him as I do around anyone else. This depression has been dragging on since October. There is not reason for it, it just wont go away.

I did not expect it to sting, then again I did not expect that she'd say what I've been contemplating the last couple of weeks. I had a feeling that the chemistry was weak, but I did not think she would want to cut it off. This just feeds into that pattern that started just after marshmallow and I broke up. First the rat bitch would just booty call ( Read more... )

Please don't ever tell me that I'm lucky to have the mother that I have. It conjures up really bad images of my childhood. I recall pain and overwhelming loneliness, never sharing meals but instead sitting and eating alone every time, her hitting me arbitrarily just because she was annoyed, letting all those strange men stay in my room, even after ( Read more... )

Oh, and Ms. Marshmallow is gonna say she is fit on OkC. Gimme a break, 70 yearolds have more muscle mass than her!

I have got to accept and move on. It is not gonna be a replay of what happened last year. No visits in the middle of the night, no long pleading emails, not even an occasional text trying to keep in touch. It's just not gonna happen. She has no longing and you are not in her thoughts the way she in yours. Much like so many relationships from which ( Read more... )