The Deranged Mckay Master list Part 1, Update: 06/02/08
Still working on my Improbable SGA porn master list (still a WIP), but I decided to give some attention to another fandom cliche, near and dear to my heart.
The mentally DERANGED Mckay
So Rodney Mckay is a pretty badly developed individual (I'm not saying he doesn't have layers upon layers. He's a regular onion that man!). Arrogant, abrasive, horrible with people (and yes brilliant and lovable, but that's not the point). Ever wonder if there's a little note in Heightmeyers files: Borderline Asperger's?
This list is for the Rodneys that crossed that border and send us a post card from the other side. The geniuses that crossed the line into insanity. The Mckays who couldn't handle the stress and had a mental breakdown. I bring you, THE DERANGED MCKAY!
The serious mental health problem list
That Mckay fella was never quite right in the head you know. Maybe it was clear from childhood that he was just a little left of normal. Or maybe he skated on fine for years, right up to his first psychotic episode. Whatever the cause, there's no coming back from this kind of madness.
Basura by
tziand
zaganthi
It's never entirely clear what's wrong with Rodney here. He's schizophrenic and some other stuff (and the twin brother of Grant Jansky from Traders, yo!), so the SGC send him to another galaxy with all the other expendable scary people. You can't help but hate O'Neill for releasing someone that fucked up and defenseless into the care of Alter!Becket, Alter!Heightmeyer and Alter!John, but man are they gonna kick some Wraith ass!
This was the first deranged Mckay I ever came across and made me a fan for life. Tragically it doesn't seem there will ever be a sequel. According to the authors it could only end in necrophilia...
Warnings: RAPE! Sexual abuse! Drugs! Violence.
Crimes against humanity by
seperis
Rodney is a mass murdering sociopath, but John kind of likes that about him. Everyone and their sisters are locked up in the high security prison Atlantis, in the Pegasus galaxy. The downside to that (for the rest of the universe), is that if they ever get out, they'll be inside a flying city with all the technology and knowledge of the ancients at their finger tips. And with a Genius!Mckay who likes to build bombs and a ATA!Sheppard who likes to drop them on innocent bystanders, that doesn't seem like such a good idea, in hindsight...
Warnings: Mckay/Sheppard. Violence. (link needed!)
Breaking the rules by
xanthe
A mildly autistic Rodney misses his cat, while Carson just wants to cuddle. They're both such woobies in this. Poor Rodney trying desperately to understand why Carson is suddenly changing the rules and just not getting it.
Again though: they send someone who can't handle changes to another galaxy? WTF!?!
Warnings: Mckay/Beckett.
Deconstructing Rodney by Azrael, hosted by
ellex42
blue_underwing explains it best: I don't think his post-Kolya reaction qualifies him as crazy, however it is mentioned earlier in the fic that not only is he a child stuck in an adult body, but also he has brain damage such that he really can't ever grow up mentally. Also, there is the Prosopagnosia. It could qualify for that reason.
Why is not on the 'OMG they broke Rodney' list? Well, they did break Rodney, but it happened on Earth, when he was just a kid so I feel it kind of qualifies for a life long condition... and I'm just doing this on feeling okay!
Warnings: Rape/ sexual abuse of a minor. Torture,
Old familiar sting by
ladycat777
Why is Rodney so messed up? Dunno. He seems to think it might be hereditary. Battered wife syndrome, located ont he X gene then? Poor fucked up Rodney lets himself get beaten by an equally fucked up John and feels ever so pretty and right with bruises adorning his skin. When John can't do the damage for him he takes care of it himself. And when John finally tries to put a stop tot that he tries to do a little battering of his own. And they say romance is dead.
Warnings: domestic abuse. Slash, mckay/sheppard.
Ni A Sabios Ni A Ricos by
paradise_city
Hee! Heightmeyer's been keeping notes on patients. Little codes to remember their issues. Rodney's got a LOT of them and they're all so fitting!
Warnings: short!
A thousand suns by
arby_m
To quote Arby_m: " this version of Rodney is definitely somewhere to the autistic side on the Asperger's spectrum." Like Rodney says so eloquently himself: "Here I-I-I feel like I'm staring at a book in some language even more obscure than Ancient, like some kind of pre-Ancient - I don't even know where to start!" Also, John is being a total dick, making him muddle through, in the hope that he'll miraculously be able to devine what's going on. Or maybe he's just distracted by all the other people he wants to fuck (that'll show Rodney how to be considerate to his partner!)
Warnings: Slash. Mckay/Sheppard
Unidentified by
fiercelydreamed
Rodney get's complete retrograde Amnesia. What? Eh? Why are you listing this? In this Earthbound AU, the doctors can't find anything wrong with Rodney, to explain why he was found on the beach with no memories (*cough*Trust conspiracy*cough*). The impression I was left with though, was that he was so fucking unhappy with himself that he just stopped being Rodney Mckay. That aside, this is an incredible piece. I give it a gold star.
Warnings: amnesia. slash: mckay/sheppard.
Working towards one by
skellerbvvt
This story hits the kind of fucked up that only Basura really nails for me... which is fitting, because it´s quite like Basura in a lot of ways. Scizo Rodney who understands that the numbers have to be kept even and a John whose more then happy to keep them for him. (Seriously, I won´t give up the reveal, but OMG!)
The nervous breakdown list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where the pressure drove him around the bend. Then there were pills and drugs and howling and the voluntary exile to the swamp (provided they don't lock him in Steve's cell first).
String theory, a concerto for violin in D minor by
toft_froggy
Rodney is a brilliant composer/conductor/pianist. Life would have been good if it hadn't been for the break down at 36 and subsequent Agoraphobia. Then again, a couple of months trapped in his apartment does give him the time to write a pretty awesome piece of music. It made me wish there was a little download link to the finished concerto but... er... it doesn't exist so...
Warnings: Mckay/Sheppard.
The R word by Orithain and
rina
Pianist!Rodney (seriously it's always the musicians!), had a mental breakdown and ended up in a institution or rehab or both and then when he got out he retreated to the family summer home in the swamp. All better you say? Maybe. But then all these kids start disappearing and detective Sheppard comes sniffing...
Warnings: well obviously there's some sicko hurting kids around.
Chronologic by
purna
Maybe it was the complete and utter destruction of Atlantis that caused his breakdown. Maybe having his face carved up like a turkey helped. Poor Rodney is so out of it, he needs people reminding him that blowing up the universe is a bad, bad thing. But since this is Rodney we're talking about, this doesn't stop him from turning a jumper into a Tardis.
Warnings: loads of character deaths (temporary).
Cages by
joolz01
Rodney get's fed to a wraith for a little bit (John too, but this isn't about him). At some point the aliens figure out how useful Mckay can be and it actually gets worse. The fascist prison guard succeeds where scores of past employers have failed miserably by turning Rodney into a broken slave. Atlantis gets him back a sad emotional wreck so down beaten that he won't even yell at his trained monkeys anymore. That's just not right! How will they know he cares if he doesn't yell?!?
Warnings: sexual abuse. Slash mckay/sheppard.
Two heads are better then one by dis-con-tent
Sheppard gets himself swapped with an alternate and ends up in a Quantum dimension where Rodney needs to be handled with kid gloves, because he's a basket case with a heart condition. Stress, or even the prospect of stress can bring forth an episode. Well, no need to worry about that in Atlantis. Oddly enough, this mellow, medicated Rodney is getting laid a lot more often then our Rodney is. Wonder if he'd consider that a fair trade..
Warnings:Het! relationship.
Tales of a broken mind by
diamond_raven
I don't know what the title is about. Rodney seems perfectly fine in this one. Having breakfast with his buddy and... hey, wait a minute!
Warnings: none.
commutative property by
crimsonclad
It's not easy being a woman in todays World with all the physical expectations. As it turns out it's not easy being a man either. Especially not in Pegasus, although there the unrealistic body image problems tends to be about Cannibals and skin grafts instead of billboards. Poor Rodney running and running and barfing up his food until he coughs and his ribs break. He claims it was all about the Cannibals... but this friends were being awfully mean...
Warnings: eating disorder.
It's a jungle out there by
neo_star0114, ( Monk AU series)
It's an Earth based MONK AU! Elizabeth starts to get a little worried when Rodney starts yelling at his minions and making them redo their faulty math 20 times (don't know why though. Seems like perfectly natural behavior for Mckay). But she's all OCD! so to get her of his back, he has to hire John as his personal assistant. He get's paid for doing useful stuff, like holding on to Rodney's hand sanitizers... I need to get me a job like that!
Warnings: Slash, Mckay/Sheppard.
264 hours by
scribblinlenore
Rodney goes only a little around the bend in this one. Not sleeping for like a week and having angry, damaging sex with rent boys that look like Sheppard. Extreme sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for.
Warnings: slash. Mckay/OMC, Mckay/Sheppard.
(moved to the nervous breakdown list! PTSD issues will hence forth be placed here)
Why are you here by
fathomlessspite
Rodney isn't talking and barely eating. That's pretty messed up. Not as messed up as the thing that COMPLETELY BROKE HIS MIND! Rodney you are so entitled to your crazy here! Someone please adopt this Rodney! No one else is looking out for him! No one but the broken shades from the depths of his subconscious.
Warnings: character death.
Desolution by forcryingoutloud
I assume Rodney just snapped when John died, but I guess something else might have screwed with his head too. It's just not clear. Poor, poor Rodney's scribbling on the walls, loosing weight and getting drugged into unconsciousness every night by Carson. He also hasn't been shaved in MONTHS! Makes me wonder if he tried to get a little to close and personal with the razor last time they tried. Most upsetting though.... John isn't DEAD at all! He's ascended and determined to spend eternity making woobie eyes at Rodney! That selfish fuck! Daniel Jackson never let the rules get in the way of KEEPING HIS LOVED ONES SANE!
Warnings: character death! But not dead enough!
Already seen by
in_wintertime
So the Asurans just stabbed their hand right into Rodney's forehead! It seems they had trouble finding what they were looking for, because they did it again and again and again. And again. They have this script you see and in the end it gets a little tricky knowing what's real and what's not. Rodney certainly can't tell anymore, though I'd have thought he'd at least realize the one where he's tortured by his own team is totally fake!
Warnings: torture
Fear of failure by
ameretrifle
If Rodney really is as big a psycho as he beliefs, this really belongs in the serious mental health problem list. The author say's it's stress-related though and if anyone knows, it'll be
ameretrifle. Rodney decides he meant for his friends to die all along. Why else wouldn't he have saved them? I couldn't tell you if that's true, or if he's just so fucked up that, this option is just easier to carry then the weight of failure. It doesn't really matter either way. Rodney thinks he's a murderer and he's quite all right with that. He's gotten a taste for it. It's the taste of cake glazing...
Warnings: character deaths. murder.
Hunger by kharessa_fics
Also known as the Cannibalism of lieutenant Cadman... or was it rats? Rodney isn't acknowledging the first, but he sure is terrified of the second. He hears them scurrying around the infirmary, just waiting for him to let his guard down. A lifelong rat phobia might be kinder then asking him to face the truth.
warnings: cannibalism! yikes! character death.
The treachery of memory by
roaringmice
Whee! Just a case of some good, clean PTSD. Mean aliens capture Rodney and torture him for a bit. They just kept cutting and cutting so when he got his hands on the knife he repaid them by stabbing and stabbing. And then I guess he was still feeling a little high strung, because he totally punched Zelenka in the nose! You know your writing emo when you have your characters cutting themselves. This is really quite pretty.
Warnings: self harm. Torture.
Prisum mobile by
ella_minnow
...I think this qualifies as a mental stress thing. John and Rodney are POW's during WW2. Rodney scribbles out theories every night failing to stay sane and tries to translate the world into numbers. He finds his Pi in John.
Warnings: WW2 AU. Slash: mckay/sheppard.
Mau Loa means the time we have by
gaiaanarchy/ Converging by
purna
Here I have two stories that are so freakishly similar in theme, that I'm gonna safe myself the trouble and just list them together. In both of them Rodney's on Earth cruising along with a little PTSD and surfer!John (who also has PTSD!) to keep him company. The trauma varies and you can decide for yourself which author is more vicious to Rodney. Both of these are subtle little gems. I honestly could't tell you whether I prefer
gaiaanarchy's Rodney (scared of lemons, sun, fog, farmers, stars and rain and who'll throw himself to the ground every time a car backfires) or
purna's Mckay (horribly scarred, traumatized and occasionally delusional to the point of near drowning).
Warnings: Torture. Mutilation. Slash: Mckay/Sheppard
Postcard from thunder road by
spacebabe
Everyone gets a day of R&R at the beach. They need it, especially Rodney who completely SNAPPED, beat up a marine and shot up a console (guess it was bugging him).
Warnings: none.
His reasons by Raven
Everybody keeps pushing and pushing and people still die and Rodney keeps his shit together by cutting himself (except I guess that means his shit has flown with the wind after all). There are a bunch of sequels where he slowly learns to deal without mutilating himself, but I don't want to encourage that sort of thing.
Warnings: self harm.
It starts with an earthquake by Nel
They're the only ones left in Atlantis, but Rodney's okay as long as Sheppard's around... Er...? Houston we might be having a problem. Great little clues left throughout the fic for us.
Warnings: deathfic. Atlantis is lost.
Deus ex Machina by
in_wintertime
Playing with the Reaver theme here. (If you haven't seen Serenity... how haven't you seen Serenity?). The Wraith have been humanized, but they haven't become human. They just no longer have a use for us. Rodney spend a little time with the Wraith and learned that they don't breed. They just reproduce.
Warnings: Cannibalism. Torture.
Three fates by auburn and
eretria
John, Rodney and Elizabeth were all on Doranda when it blew. They managed to escape... to the PAST! Oh and Rodney totally destroyed all of creation (probably). And we thought a solar system was bad. Consumed with guilt, Rodney turns into a basket case, hallucinating about his many, many victims. John tries hands on therapy by falling in bed with him. (Let's hope it doesn't cost him his license). There's a lot more to this fic of course, but you get to find out for yourself.
Warnings: character death. Slash: Mckay/Sheppard
Catalysis by
chandri
I haven´t actually finished this, but it looks like the author is living up to her promise that Rodney is going to freak out after being kidnapped on an alien world. And seeing how I´m in Peru and they don´t seem to have discovered delicious here... If I don´t save it now, I´ll never find it again okay! Just... let me know how it was.
Warnings: No fucking clue, but it looks fascinating.
=============================================
As of today this list has been Cut up in two more user friendly parts. Use the tags to read both parts, or follow the easy to use links.
PART 1 Featuring:
The serious mental health problem list
That Mckay fella was never quite right in the head you know. Maybe it was clear from childhood that he was just a little left of normal. Or maybe he skated on fine for years, right up to his first psychotic episode. Whatever the cause, there's no coming back from this kind of madness.
The nervous breakdown list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where the pressure drove him around the bend. Then there were pills and drugs and howling and the voluntary exile to the swamp (provided they don't lock him in Steve's cell first).
PART 2 Featuring: (This would be that easy to use link I was telling you about)
The 'OMG they broke Rodney' list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where he pushed the wrong button, or gated to a world where the aliens decided to fuck with his head.
The 'flying HIGH' list
A new section, for all the Rodney's that are perfectly sane.... unless they're high as a kite on amphetamines, antihistamines or other a-mines. Here's to the Rodney's that couldn't cope without a little chemical aid (and seriously, if there is alcoholic Mckay out there, I want it!)
ETA: First update in a while, but don't worry. I am faithfully bookmarking any deranged fic I come across.
Honerable mentions: The next two fics don't really belong on this list, since being transgender is not a mental illness, although there are often accompanying mental health problems. Mostly I just really loved these stories and wanted to feature them.
Reversals by
blue_underwing
"Dammit Carson! Do you have any idea how much that sex-change cost!? Not to mention the years I put in convincing the therapist that I really meant it, the surgeries themselves, the pi..."
I wish there was a prequel to this... and a sequel.Can you picture Meredith Mckay, deciding she was in the wrong body and steam rolling right over everybody until it was fixed.... and then it was unfixed, which makes me really sad. Picture Rodney walking through the city, all self conscious for the first time in 15 years, trying to pretend it doesn't bother him. Knowing he can't just hop back to Earth for another surgery. Here's to hoping there really are fifteen gender bender devices in the city, like fanon would have us belief.
Warnings: sex change x 2.
Places to go, people to do by
rageprufrock
Another case of Gender dysphoria. This one made me want to sock Jeannie a little, because DUDE! Your sister who you were mean to all through high school is finally comfortable in his own body and you won't even call him by his new name! Steam roller Rodney is the best though! This should be a whole fandom cliche on it self!
Warnings: sex change.
The mentally DERANGED Mckay
So Rodney Mckay is a pretty badly developed individual (I'm not saying he doesn't have layers upon layers. He's a regular onion that man!). Arrogant, abrasive, horrible with people (and yes brilliant and lovable, but that's not the point). Ever wonder if there's a little note in Heightmeyers files: Borderline Asperger's?
This list is for the Rodneys that crossed that border and send us a post card from the other side. The geniuses that crossed the line into insanity. The Mckays who couldn't handle the stress and had a mental breakdown. I bring you, THE DERANGED MCKAY!
The serious mental health problem list
That Mckay fella was never quite right in the head you know. Maybe it was clear from childhood that he was just a little left of normal. Or maybe he skated on fine for years, right up to his first psychotic episode. Whatever the cause, there's no coming back from this kind of madness.
Basura by
tziand
zaganthi
It's never entirely clear what's wrong with Rodney here. He's schizophrenic and some other stuff (and the twin brother of Grant Jansky from Traders, yo!), so the SGC send him to another galaxy with all the other expendable scary people. You can't help but hate O'Neill for releasing someone that fucked up and defenseless into the care of Alter!Becket, Alter!Heightmeyer and Alter!John, but man are they gonna kick some Wraith ass!
This was the first deranged Mckay I ever came across and made me a fan for life. Tragically it doesn't seem there will ever be a sequel. According to the authors it could only end in necrophilia...
Warnings: RAPE! Sexual abuse! Drugs! Violence.
Crimes against humanity by
seperis
Rodney is a mass murdering sociopath, but John kind of likes that about him. Everyone and their sisters are locked up in the high security prison Atlantis, in the Pegasus galaxy. The downside to that (for the rest of the universe), is that if they ever get out, they'll be inside a flying city with all the technology and knowledge of the ancients at their finger tips. And with a Genius!Mckay who likes to build bombs and a ATA!Sheppard who likes to drop them on innocent bystanders, that doesn't seem like such a good idea, in hindsight...
Warnings: Mckay/Sheppard. Violence. (link needed!)
Breaking the rules by
xanthe
A mildly autistic Rodney misses his cat, while Carson just wants to cuddle. They're both such woobies in this. Poor Rodney trying desperately to understand why Carson is suddenly changing the rules and just not getting it.
Again though: they send someone who can't handle changes to another galaxy? WTF!?!
Warnings: Mckay/Beckett.
Deconstructing Rodney by Azrael, hosted by
ellex42
blue_underwing explains it best: I don't think his post-Kolya reaction qualifies him as crazy, however it is mentioned earlier in the fic that not only is he a child stuck in an adult body, but also he has brain damage such that he really can't ever grow up mentally. Also, there is the Prosopagnosia. It could qualify for that reason.
Why is not on the 'OMG they broke Rodney' list? Well, they did break Rodney, but it happened on Earth, when he was just a kid so I feel it kind of qualifies for a life long condition... and I'm just doing this on feeling okay!
Warnings: Rape/ sexual abuse of a minor. Torture,
Old familiar sting by
ladycat777
Why is Rodney so messed up? Dunno. He seems to think it might be hereditary. Battered wife syndrome, located ont he X gene then? Poor fucked up Rodney lets himself get beaten by an equally fucked up John and feels ever so pretty and right with bruises adorning his skin. When John can't do the damage for him he takes care of it himself. And when John finally tries to put a stop tot that he tries to do a little battering of his own. And they say romance is dead.
Warnings: domestic abuse. Slash, mckay/sheppard.
Ni A Sabios Ni A Ricos by
paradise_city
Hee! Heightmeyer's been keeping notes on patients. Little codes to remember their issues. Rodney's got a LOT of them and they're all so fitting!
Warnings: short!
A thousand suns by
arby_m
To quote Arby_m: " this version of Rodney is definitely somewhere to the autistic side on the Asperger's spectrum." Like Rodney says so eloquently himself: "Here I-I-I feel like I'm staring at a book in some language even more obscure than Ancient, like some kind of pre-Ancient - I don't even know where to start!" Also, John is being a total dick, making him muddle through, in the hope that he'll miraculously be able to devine what's going on. Or maybe he's just distracted by all the other people he wants to fuck (that'll show Rodney how to be considerate to his partner!)
Warnings: Slash. Mckay/Sheppard
Unidentified by
fiercelydreamed
Rodney get's complete retrograde Amnesia. What? Eh? Why are you listing this? In this Earthbound AU, the doctors can't find anything wrong with Rodney, to explain why he was found on the beach with no memories (*cough*Trust conspiracy*cough*). The impression I was left with though, was that he was so fucking unhappy with himself that he just stopped being Rodney Mckay. That aside, this is an incredible piece. I give it a gold star.
Warnings: amnesia. slash: mckay/sheppard.
Working towards one by
skellerbvvt
This story hits the kind of fucked up that only Basura really nails for me... which is fitting, because it´s quite like Basura in a lot of ways. Scizo Rodney who understands that the numbers have to be kept even and a John whose more then happy to keep them for him. (Seriously, I won´t give up the reveal, but OMG!)
The nervous breakdown list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where the pressure drove him around the bend. Then there were pills and drugs and howling and the voluntary exile to the swamp (provided they don't lock him in Steve's cell first).
String theory, a concerto for violin in D minor by
toft_froggy
Rodney is a brilliant composer/conductor/pianist. Life would have been good if it hadn't been for the break down at 36 and subsequent Agoraphobia. Then again, a couple of months trapped in his apartment does give him the time to write a pretty awesome piece of music. It made me wish there was a little download link to the finished concerto but... er... it doesn't exist so...
Warnings: Mckay/Sheppard.
The R word by Orithain and
rina
Pianist!Rodney (seriously it's always the musicians!), had a mental breakdown and ended up in a institution or rehab or both and then when he got out he retreated to the family summer home in the swamp. All better you say? Maybe. But then all these kids start disappearing and detective Sheppard comes sniffing...
Warnings: well obviously there's some sicko hurting kids around.
Chronologic by
purna
Maybe it was the complete and utter destruction of Atlantis that caused his breakdown. Maybe having his face carved up like a turkey helped. Poor Rodney is so out of it, he needs people reminding him that blowing up the universe is a bad, bad thing. But since this is Rodney we're talking about, this doesn't stop him from turning a jumper into a Tardis.
Warnings: loads of character deaths (temporary).
Cages by
joolz01
Rodney get's fed to a wraith for a little bit (John too, but this isn't about him). At some point the aliens figure out how useful Mckay can be and it actually gets worse. The fascist prison guard succeeds where scores of past employers have failed miserably by turning Rodney into a broken slave. Atlantis gets him back a sad emotional wreck so down beaten that he won't even yell at his trained monkeys anymore. That's just not right! How will they know he cares if he doesn't yell?!?
Warnings: sexual abuse. Slash mckay/sheppard.
Two heads are better then one by dis-con-tent
Sheppard gets himself swapped with an alternate and ends up in a Quantum dimension where Rodney needs to be handled with kid gloves, because he's a basket case with a heart condition. Stress, or even the prospect of stress can bring forth an episode. Well, no need to worry about that in Atlantis. Oddly enough, this mellow, medicated Rodney is getting laid a lot more often then our Rodney is. Wonder if he'd consider that a fair trade..
Warnings:Het! relationship.
Tales of a broken mind by
diamond_raven
I don't know what the title is about. Rodney seems perfectly fine in this one. Having breakfast with his buddy and... hey, wait a minute!
Warnings: none.
commutative property by
crimsonclad
It's not easy being a woman in todays World with all the physical expectations. As it turns out it's not easy being a man either. Especially not in Pegasus, although there the unrealistic body image problems tends to be about Cannibals and skin grafts instead of billboards. Poor Rodney running and running and barfing up his food until he coughs and his ribs break. He claims it was all about the Cannibals... but this friends were being awfully mean...
Warnings: eating disorder.
It's a jungle out there by
neo_star0114, ( Monk AU series)
It's an Earth based MONK AU! Elizabeth starts to get a little worried when Rodney starts yelling at his minions and making them redo their faulty math 20 times (don't know why though. Seems like perfectly natural behavior for Mckay). But she's all OCD! so to get her of his back, he has to hire John as his personal assistant. He get's paid for doing useful stuff, like holding on to Rodney's hand sanitizers... I need to get me a job like that!
Warnings: Slash, Mckay/Sheppard.
264 hours by
scribblinlenore
Rodney goes only a little around the bend in this one. Not sleeping for like a week and having angry, damaging sex with rent boys that look like Sheppard. Extreme sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for.
Warnings: slash. Mckay/OMC, Mckay/Sheppard.
(moved to the nervous breakdown list! PTSD issues will hence forth be placed here)
Why are you here by
fathomlessspite
Rodney isn't talking and barely eating. That's pretty messed up. Not as messed up as the thing that COMPLETELY BROKE HIS MIND! Rodney you are so entitled to your crazy here! Someone please adopt this Rodney! No one else is looking out for him! No one but the broken shades from the depths of his subconscious.
Warnings: character death.
Desolution by forcryingoutloud
I assume Rodney just snapped when John died, but I guess something else might have screwed with his head too. It's just not clear. Poor, poor Rodney's scribbling on the walls, loosing weight and getting drugged into unconsciousness every night by Carson. He also hasn't been shaved in MONTHS! Makes me wonder if he tried to get a little to close and personal with the razor last time they tried. Most upsetting though.... John isn't DEAD at all! He's ascended and determined to spend eternity making woobie eyes at Rodney! That selfish fuck! Daniel Jackson never let the rules get in the way of KEEPING HIS LOVED ONES SANE!
Warnings: character death! But not dead enough!
Already seen by
in_wintertime
So the Asurans just stabbed their hand right into Rodney's forehead! It seems they had trouble finding what they were looking for, because they did it again and again and again. And again. They have this script you see and in the end it gets a little tricky knowing what's real and what's not. Rodney certainly can't tell anymore, though I'd have thought he'd at least realize the one where he's tortured by his own team is totally fake!
Warnings: torture
Fear of failure by
ameretrifle
If Rodney really is as big a psycho as he beliefs, this really belongs in the serious mental health problem list. The author say's it's stress-related though and if anyone knows, it'll be
ameretrifle. Rodney decides he meant for his friends to die all along. Why else wouldn't he have saved them? I couldn't tell you if that's true, or if he's just so fucked up that, this option is just easier to carry then the weight of failure. It doesn't really matter either way. Rodney thinks he's a murderer and he's quite all right with that. He's gotten a taste for it. It's the taste of cake glazing...
Warnings: character deaths. murder.
Hunger by kharessa_fics
Also known as the Cannibalism of lieutenant Cadman... or was it rats? Rodney isn't acknowledging the first, but he sure is terrified of the second. He hears them scurrying around the infirmary, just waiting for him to let his guard down. A lifelong rat phobia might be kinder then asking him to face the truth.
warnings: cannibalism! yikes! character death.
The treachery of memory by
roaringmice
Whee! Just a case of some good, clean PTSD. Mean aliens capture Rodney and torture him for a bit. They just kept cutting and cutting so when he got his hands on the knife he repaid them by stabbing and stabbing. And then I guess he was still feeling a little high strung, because he totally punched Zelenka in the nose! You know your writing emo when you have your characters cutting themselves. This is really quite pretty.
Warnings: self harm. Torture.
Prisum mobile by
ella_minnow
...I think this qualifies as a mental stress thing. John and Rodney are POW's during WW2. Rodney scribbles out theories every night failing to stay sane and tries to translate the world into numbers. He finds his Pi in John.
Warnings: WW2 AU. Slash: mckay/sheppard.
Mau Loa means the time we have by
gaiaanarchy/ Converging by
purna
Here I have two stories that are so freakishly similar in theme, that I'm gonna safe myself the trouble and just list them together. In both of them Rodney's on Earth cruising along with a little PTSD and surfer!John (who also has PTSD!) to keep him company. The trauma varies and you can decide for yourself which author is more vicious to Rodney. Both of these are subtle little gems. I honestly could't tell you whether I prefer
gaiaanarchy's Rodney (scared of lemons, sun, fog, farmers, stars and rain and who'll throw himself to the ground every time a car backfires) or
purna's Mckay (horribly scarred, traumatized and occasionally delusional to the point of near drowning).
Warnings: Torture. Mutilation. Slash: Mckay/Sheppard
Postcard from thunder road by
spacebabe
Everyone gets a day of R&R at the beach. They need it, especially Rodney who completely SNAPPED, beat up a marine and shot up a console (guess it was bugging him).
Warnings: none.
His reasons by Raven
Everybody keeps pushing and pushing and people still die and Rodney keeps his shit together by cutting himself (except I guess that means his shit has flown with the wind after all). There are a bunch of sequels where he slowly learns to deal without mutilating himself, but I don't want to encourage that sort of thing.
Warnings: self harm.
It starts with an earthquake by Nel
They're the only ones left in Atlantis, but Rodney's okay as long as Sheppard's around... Er...? Houston we might be having a problem. Great little clues left throughout the fic for us.
Warnings: deathfic. Atlantis is lost.
Deus ex Machina by
in_wintertime
Playing with the Reaver theme here. (If you haven't seen Serenity... how haven't you seen Serenity?). The Wraith have been humanized, but they haven't become human. They just no longer have a use for us. Rodney spend a little time with the Wraith and learned that they don't breed. They just reproduce.
Warnings: Cannibalism. Torture.
Three fates by auburn and
eretria
John, Rodney and Elizabeth were all on Doranda when it blew. They managed to escape... to the PAST! Oh and Rodney totally destroyed all of creation (probably). And we thought a solar system was bad. Consumed with guilt, Rodney turns into a basket case, hallucinating about his many, many victims. John tries hands on therapy by falling in bed with him. (Let's hope it doesn't cost him his license). There's a lot more to this fic of course, but you get to find out for yourself.
Warnings: character death. Slash: Mckay/Sheppard
Catalysis by
chandri
I haven´t actually finished this, but it looks like the author is living up to her promise that Rodney is going to freak out after being kidnapped on an alien world. And seeing how I´m in Peru and they don´t seem to have discovered delicious here... If I don´t save it now, I´ll never find it again okay! Just... let me know how it was.
Warnings: No fucking clue, but it looks fascinating.
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As of today this list has been Cut up in two more user friendly parts. Use the tags to read both parts, or follow the easy to use links.
PART 1 Featuring:
The serious mental health problem list
That Mckay fella was never quite right in the head you know. Maybe it was clear from childhood that he was just a little left of normal. Or maybe he skated on fine for years, right up to his first psychotic episode. Whatever the cause, there's no coming back from this kind of madness.
The nervous breakdown list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where the pressure drove him around the bend. Then there were pills and drugs and howling and the voluntary exile to the swamp (provided they don't lock him in Steve's cell first).
PART 2 Featuring: (This would be that easy to use link I was telling you about)
The 'OMG they broke Rodney' list
Rodney was perfectly sane right up to the point where he pushed the wrong button, or gated to a world where the aliens decided to fuck with his head.
The 'flying HIGH' list
A new section, for all the Rodney's that are perfectly sane.... unless they're high as a kite on amphetamines, antihistamines or other a-mines. Here's to the Rodney's that couldn't cope without a little chemical aid (and seriously, if there is alcoholic Mckay out there, I want it!)
ETA: First update in a while, but don't worry. I am faithfully bookmarking any deranged fic I come across.
Honerable mentions: The next two fics don't really belong on this list, since being transgender is not a mental illness, although there are often accompanying mental health problems. Mostly I just really loved these stories and wanted to feature them.
Reversals by
blue_underwing
"Dammit Carson! Do you have any idea how much that sex-change cost!? Not to mention the years I put in convincing the therapist that I really meant it, the surgeries themselves, the pi..."
I wish there was a prequel to this... and a sequel.Can you picture Meredith Mckay, deciding she was in the wrong body and steam rolling right over everybody until it was fixed.... and then it was unfixed, which makes me really sad. Picture Rodney walking through the city, all self conscious for the first time in 15 years, trying to pretend it doesn't bother him. Knowing he can't just hop back to Earth for another surgery. Here's to hoping there really are fifteen gender bender devices in the city, like fanon would have us belief.
Warnings: sex change x 2.
Places to go, people to do by
rageprufrock
Another case of Gender dysphoria. This one made me want to sock Jeannie a little, because DUDE! Your sister who you were mean to all through high school is finally comfortable in his own body and you won't even call him by his new name! Steam roller Rodney is the best though! This should be a whole fandom cliche on it self!
Warnings: sex change.