"Bring It Back" PG (1/1)
Title: Bring It Back
Author: elizabethfaye09
Rating: pg
Summary: He wants it all back.
Warnings: MENTIONED CHARACTER DEATH, angst.
Disclaimer: I own zip, zilch, nada.
Author's Notes: idk where all the angst is coming from lately but this jsut suddenly came to me. it is un-beta'ed so any and all mistakes are mine. the title is from Kris's album, the song "Bring It Back." i love comments and feedback! enjoy! :)
“Where’s your mind at today, Kris Allen?”
Kris looks over at Katy. She’s sitting across from him on the picnic blanket dressed in her favorite pink sundress and looking as beautiful as ever. But he’s not thinking of her. And she knows it. She always knows. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Katy,” he says sincerely. She’s smiling, smiling, and shaking her head at him. “What?” She takes his hand in hers, plays with his fingers and twists the band on his thumb around and around. He almost wants to jerk his hand away when she touches it because it’s not hers, it’s never been hers, and it’s always been his. But Kris holds back from hurting her feelings and instead lets her continue on. She sighs this time.
“You’re thinking about him again,” she states softly. She doesn’t look at him. He can tell, though, that she’s trying not to cry now: her smile has faded. Suddenly the silver band around his thumb is gone. Wide-eyed, he sees that she’s holding it in her hand as if she could weigh in her palm just how much it means to him. In a way it physically hurts for the band to be taken off. He’s never taken it off.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters again.
Katy tosses the ring into the air, nearly giving Kris a heart attack, and catches it in her open palm then just as quickly puts it into his hand. “Chill, sweetie. You can breathe when the thing is off you know?” She frowns at the expression of horror on his face.
“Sorry, sorry.” He slips the silver back onto his thumb, right back into the barely noticeable, but permanent, groove in his skin.
As he sits and thinks some more he twists the metal out of habit. Eventually Katy stops him with a hand over his. When he looks at her again there are tears in his eyes. She gasps out a small “Oh,” and then her arms are around him tightly.
“Bring it back, Katy. Can you bring him back?” Kris doesn’t care that he’s sitting on a picnic blanket crying his eyes out into Katy’s shoulder for anyone to see. He just wants it all back.
For a moment, as Katy pets his hair and whispers soothing words into his ear, he’s taken back to just last year when everything was the epitome of perfect. When he was lively and happy and there, and no one questioned it all. In those moments Adam was by his side. Adam was always there. He was the one constant thing in Kris’s life and, because of Kris’s stupid mistake, it all ended.
For a moment he’s back in that stuffy funeral home drowning out the sounds of people asking if he’s okay.
Kris squeezes his eyes shut. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should try to be happy, at least for his friends who have done so much the past few months to get him back on his feet. That’s why Katy brought him on a picnic. She believed that a little fresh air and sunshine would do him some good. But right now nothing is doing him any good.
***
Later, when Kris has dropped Katy off at her apartment and thanked her for the day out even if he did screw it up, he goes to Adam. It’s getting dark out and the sky is threatening rain, maybe, later on. He doesn’t care. He sits in the grass that is still a little patchy in places because who knew grass took so long to grow on graves, and sighs heavily.
The ring feels like a ten ton weight on his thumb. He ignores it, though, and crosses his legs comfortably; he’ll be here awhile. He lets the silence take him over and just tries to enjoy it. It’s been a long time since he really enjoyed anything.
When the silence becomes too much he starts to sing to himself. A song about bringing love back. The song hurts him soul-deep but at least it isn’t silent anymore. By the time he’s finished singing, the song ending only half-way through because his voice cracked with the pain, there are silent tears on his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Adam,” he chokes out. He furiously wipes the tears away. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I let you go out and drink your problems away. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I really felt that night.” There are a million things he is sorry for and that he wants to tell Adam about. But one only has so much time in a day and night.
Before he really knows what he’s doing, Kris has the ring off. He stares at it a long time then reluctantly places it on the ground at his feet. He digs a hole big enough and gently places the ring in the ground, covering it with the upturned dirt. There’s a pang in his chest that lasts for only a second. He stands, dusts his jeans off, and starts to walk away.
Kris only looks back once, the empty space on his thumb finally weightless and light.
Author: elizabethfaye09
Rating: pg
Summary: He wants it all back.
Warnings: MENTIONED CHARACTER DEATH, angst.
Disclaimer: I own zip, zilch, nada.
Author's Notes: idk where all the angst is coming from lately but this jsut suddenly came to me. it is un-beta'ed so any and all mistakes are mine. the title is from Kris's album, the song "Bring It Back." i love comments and feedback! enjoy! :)
“Where’s your mind at today, Kris Allen?”
Kris looks over at Katy. She’s sitting across from him on the picnic blanket dressed in her favorite pink sundress and looking as beautiful as ever. But he’s not thinking of her. And she knows it. She always knows. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Katy,” he says sincerely. She’s smiling, smiling, and shaking her head at him. “What?” She takes his hand in hers, plays with his fingers and twists the band on his thumb around and around. He almost wants to jerk his hand away when she touches it because it’s not hers, it’s never been hers, and it’s always been his. But Kris holds back from hurting her feelings and instead lets her continue on. She sighs this time.
“You’re thinking about him again,” she states softly. She doesn’t look at him. He can tell, though, that she’s trying not to cry now: her smile has faded. Suddenly the silver band around his thumb is gone. Wide-eyed, he sees that she’s holding it in her hand as if she could weigh in her palm just how much it means to him. In a way it physically hurts for the band to be taken off. He’s never taken it off.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters again.
Katy tosses the ring into the air, nearly giving Kris a heart attack, and catches it in her open palm then just as quickly puts it into his hand. “Chill, sweetie. You can breathe when the thing is off you know?” She frowns at the expression of horror on his face.
“Sorry, sorry.” He slips the silver back onto his thumb, right back into the barely noticeable, but permanent, groove in his skin.
As he sits and thinks some more he twists the metal out of habit. Eventually Katy stops him with a hand over his. When he looks at her again there are tears in his eyes. She gasps out a small “Oh,” and then her arms are around him tightly.
“Bring it back, Katy. Can you bring him back?” Kris doesn’t care that he’s sitting on a picnic blanket crying his eyes out into Katy’s shoulder for anyone to see. He just wants it all back.
For a moment, as Katy pets his hair and whispers soothing words into his ear, he’s taken back to just last year when everything was the epitome of perfect. When he was lively and happy and there, and no one questioned it all. In those moments Adam was by his side. Adam was always there. He was the one constant thing in Kris’s life and, because of Kris’s stupid mistake, it all ended.
For a moment he’s back in that stuffy funeral home drowning out the sounds of people asking if he’s okay.
Kris squeezes his eyes shut. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should try to be happy, at least for his friends who have done so much the past few months to get him back on his feet. That’s why Katy brought him on a picnic. She believed that a little fresh air and sunshine would do him some good. But right now nothing is doing him any good.
***
Later, when Kris has dropped Katy off at her apartment and thanked her for the day out even if he did screw it up, he goes to Adam. It’s getting dark out and the sky is threatening rain, maybe, later on. He doesn’t care. He sits in the grass that is still a little patchy in places because who knew grass took so long to grow on graves, and sighs heavily.
The ring feels like a ten ton weight on his thumb. He ignores it, though, and crosses his legs comfortably; he’ll be here awhile. He lets the silence take him over and just tries to enjoy it. It’s been a long time since he really enjoyed anything.
When the silence becomes too much he starts to sing to himself. A song about bringing love back. The song hurts him soul-deep but at least it isn’t silent anymore. By the time he’s finished singing, the song ending only half-way through because his voice cracked with the pain, there are silent tears on his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Adam,” he chokes out. He furiously wipes the tears away. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I let you go out and drink your problems away. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I really felt that night.” There are a million things he is sorry for and that he wants to tell Adam about. But one only has so much time in a day and night.
Before he really knows what he’s doing, Kris has the ring off. He stares at it a long time then reluctantly places it on the ground at his feet. He digs a hole big enough and gently places the ring in the ground, covering it with the upturned dirt. There’s a pang in his chest that lasts for only a second. He stands, dusts his jeans off, and starts to walk away.
Kris only looks back once, the empty space on his thumb finally weightless and light.