This is the most frustrated I have been in a very very long time. I have no clue at this point what I want in my life.  I had not being in control of what is going on...and I know that noone actually has control of their life but it's just one of those things.  I sit here writing and thinking...about three different guys all with different ( Read more... )

 Looking back at old pictures...I can't help but cry. I cry for the happy times and the sad times.  Every memory, every laugh, every tear.  It all has substantial meaning. The words WHAT IF don't even run through my mind. Gone are the "What if I had decided to stay with him?" "What if I should have gone to the movies with them instead of hanging ( Read more... )

     I know it has been awhile since I wrote and that was because things seemed to have been going pretty smoothly...up until last night!  Kyle came back into my life and for the last two months I felt like it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, and it was. Kyle had completely changed, calling me in the day time, text whenever ( Read more... )

˙ʍou ɹoɟ llɐ sı ʇɐɥʇ ¡sǝɯıʇǝɯos slǝǝɟ ɟı ʍoɥ ʍouʞ ʎǝɥʇ ǝdoɥ ʇsnɾ ı˙˙˙ƃuıʎouuɐ oos ʇsnɾ sı ʇı˙˙˙˙lɐɹǝuǝƃ uı ǝɯ ɥʇıʍ ǝɯıʇ puǝds oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʎllɐǝɹ ʇuop oɥʍ puǝıɹɟ ǝɥʇ ǝʌɐɥ uǝɥʇ puɐ˙˙˙ǝɯıʇ ǝɯ ǝzılodouoɯ oʇ ʇuɐʍ oɥʍ spuǝıɹɟ ǝʌɐɥ ı op ʎɥʍ˙˙˙ƃuıɥʇ dıɥspuǝıɹɟ ǝloɥʍ ǝɥʇ sı ǝɹǝɥʇ uǝɥʇ puɐ ¿ƃuısnɟuoɔ os ǝq oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ǝɟıl sǝop ʎɥʍ˙˙˙ʍou ʇɥƃıɹ ǝslǝ ǝuoʎuɐ ǝʌɐɥ ( Read more... )

I am trying to start  2009 on a positive note but so far it is almost impossible...

All I can think about are those whom I lost in 2008...

Whether they be friends or pets...or even boyfriends...

I feel like every year ends the same way...

In heartbreak!

It's like no matter what I do it is impossible for me to be happy. All I want is for someone to care ( Read more... )

I am scared as hell of growing up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no real reason to be scared it's something everyone does...I think I am just scared of losing the ones I love.... Yes I want to get married and have kids and watch them grow up...but I don't want to lose the people in my life...I dont want things to happen where I will never see these ( Read more... )

There are always things that confuse people but for some reason my whole life confuses me. Not that I don't know where it's going or who my true friends are...although at this point I am pretty sure I only have one true friend.  But what confuses me is everything else.  Like why is it that I was finally in at a place in my life where I was happy ( Read more... )

The time has come in my life to realize that I have no clue what I am doing. There is this really great guy that whats to be with me...but for some reason I have no attraction to him what so ever. I feel horrible....I feel like I have to be with him or else I am hurting him and hurting people is just not me.  I try to be a fair person and treat ( Read more... )