I'm so fucking stupid, I'm so, so fucking stupid. Why am I alive. I don't fucking deserve the fucking air that I fucking breathe. I wish I could just end it. Stop this pain. I can't fucking take it. I'm tired of being a stupid little girl who just wants and wants. Wanting doesn't do shit. I'm ready to die. Abbey must be stupid too to want ( Read more... )

So it's been a while since I've posted anything. I know that I primarily use this for my sorrows, but today I'm going to talk about how happy I am. I graduated from Grand Valley, I have furthered my education and I am quite proud of myself. I got promoted at work, I am the new assistant manager and I am excited to take this learning opportunity ( Read more... )

I will no longer be posting entries wondering about love. I like to read through all my old journal entries and see how much I've grown. I guess before I really didn't know what love is. But, I do now. Kyden Louis Robinson, the man I am going to marry. I don't know how, I don't know why, all I know is that it is what it is and we are in love ( Read more... )

I guess from now on when I'm upset instead of "freaking everyone out" i'll just put a quote or a song lyric. we had a pretty big fight last night. i still feel the leftover effects. i wonder if i'll ever get over it. i hate this, i don't know if it's my goddamn fucked up brain that's fucking this relationship up or if it's the fact that we're too ( Read more... )

An hour passes and I can't seem to focus much ( Read more... )

Fuck all of you who get to see your significant other on sweetest day, on your anniversary, and all the other holidays i have missed so far. I miss my boo and there's nothing I can do about it because I'm either flat broke or too damn busy. Fuck all of you with kids, could you rub it in my face a little bit more it'll be years before I can even ( Read more... )

First off, I'm upset because Johnnie and Kayden always blow me off. I just want to make some effing friends here. I don't think that's too much to ask. Plus I think Kayden would love my extended family. He adopts parents because his are fuckheads (not that I know them personally or anything, but anyone who rejects their child after they confide ( Read more... )

Having a hard time actually forming the words, maybe because i don't know whether to say I love you Kathryn Elise Auge or I love you Tyler Evan Wright, lol. No one even knows what that means i guess, probably better anyways. i often am frustrated that i can't call him tyler all the time, for my own sake and his I hope he figures this out soon ( Read more... )

I just rediscovered lj for the first time in a couple years, since i've last updated some things have changed ( Read more... )

i've put off these damn papers since the beginnning of the semester and here it is one day before there due, my grade is riding on these damn papers, and i can't write anything. this is killing me. i need inspiration and i just don't have it. ugh.